Joseph a twelve years old adolescent didn’t quite understand what was happening to him .Every time he would want to say something to his parents or even to the teacher in the school it would be taken as an upfront defiance .His father would rebuke him and mother would end up in tears resting the blame on Joseph .Joseph had been identified as the trouble maker in school too .

Jatin a 13 years old lad had been singled out by his class teacher for creating trouble for others in class and he had been set up a bench to sit away from others in the class room ,causing so much embarrassment to him.
He would be rebuked each time others would make a noise in the class .The teacher would simply name him out first and would not even make amends when she found it was some other student who led the riot .

Swara’s family didn’t quite understand why she had started shouting back at her parents and teachers of late .They looked at it as her sulking behaviour and brought her to the clinic for counseling.

Apparently all these and many more of such Children and adolescents are singled out by the parents and their teachers as defiant kids and they are brought to us so resolve their behaviours issues and treat them for oppositional and defiant disorder . Such children are often referred to psychologists or even psychiatrists for behaviour correction because of their regular bad behaviours ,emotional adjustment problems – aggressive outbursts ,disrespect of others ,not following the norms set up by schools or families.the other issues often referred to are truancy , skipping exams ,acts or threats of self-harm, suicide attempts , running away from home .None of the parents would understand that the problem is not the outward expressive behaviour but the underlying stresses ,trauma and unhealthy family relationships ,environment or dynamics could be the cause of the unacceptable behaviour and problematic adjustment in society.

Teachers would simply complain to the parents about the non cooperative manners of child and when parents fail to correct the child by way of punishment or admonishment ,they walk into the clinic with only one expectation of “just fix my kid.”
In all such cases it has been observed that come what may the parents will simply look at the Counselor for help and magic cure without realising that the parental active participation and the school teachers pro positive approach will be more helpful along with the therapy sessions at the psychologist’
Just one way efforts by the therapist do not work with adolescents with ADHD /Dissocial behaviour / Adjustment disorder .They regress sooner to the same behaviour as soon as they return to the familiar negative environment The relapse will occur as soon as the affected adolescent returns to the same unhealthy patterns in the family /school environment.

A few changes at Joseph’s school with support from an understanding teacher helped us bring about a very positive result .The same child now has become a favourite student of all teachers . As a result of active participation by Swara’s parents Swara has become more tolerant of her parents expectations and a very healthy environment prevails at the family.
Similarly we found out that a comprehensive holistic treatment with the entire family of other children mentioned above has been very productive and effective way of treating Oppositional Defiance disorder /ADD/ADHD /Dissocial disorder without taking resort to medications.
Our experience at the Family Therapy India and Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation has been to go for the top down approach by involving school teachers and parents to help kids with above problems and bring about a positive changes to the defiance and anxiety of the kids .

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