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Archive for the ‘daily writings and musings of the psychologist’ Category

emotionl abuse“I have not been able to find out till date, how he can twist me around his fingers like a puppet and how I give in so easily to all his demands .It is only much later I would realize that I have been made a succor. He played with my emotions”, said Tina. Emotional abuse even though is visible and disturbing yet the victim finds it difficult to ask the perpetrator to stop and leave the victim alone. We all know that the abuse is real and we are being abused but we find it extremely difficult to come out of it. Abusive relationship is in true sense a violence of the soul and mind. Unlike physical abuse it does not hurt on the physical body parts. It hurts in such a way that the bruises and the blood don’t come to the fore yet it shreds the mind, emotions and the self respects to many uncollectible bits, leaving the victim broken in body mind and soul .its impact can be every time more killing than the actual bullet is fired by someone. The abusive behavior is often directed at a weaker personality irrespective of the status, gender or creed or relationship.

argu cplThe abusive behavior in marital relationship is often made a tool by either partner to control the other partner’s mind and soul. The advantages sought by the perpetrator could be to gain control over the victim for financial, emotional, psychological, social or simply sadistic pleasure. Emotional abuse is a form of domestic violence, and it can have devastating effects on the physical, emotional and mental health of the victim more so if the victim is a housewife, as she feels threatened of losing her matrimony.

The first thing you need to understand is that emotional abuse is not so easily recognized by others as the one who indulges into it is always fully well prepared to go on the offensive, should the victim seek any outside help or interference. The others would be made to believe that you are creating difficult situation by your emotional weak mind. They are made to understand that you could be unnecessarily reacting to the situations which you are finding difficult to handle. You could be rather called the one initiating it. The abuser poses to be the victim here. Then again no law of the land looks at emotional abuse as a crime. You do not have any valid proof against the abuser as it is always done in such a manner that none other can come to know of it except the victim. At the basic level all forms of emotional abuse is an act of coercion, intimidation and suppression.

emotional abuse 4The victim of emotional abuse is often tortured so much that he or she begins to blame self for provoking the perpetrator. The victims are made to believe that they deserve the treatment that is being met to them. In the victim’s perception the villain deserves sympathy. In this manner the abuser becomes the person being sympathized with piety and kind attitude.

Over a period the victim starts thinking: I am definitely sick of my mind and psyche to have caused distress to the one who sympathized with me so much. One could never be more incorrect than this misconception. Such misperception can make one think that one is definitely suffering from psychotic issues and the thought itself can give severe depression.
How can one know one is being subjected to emotional abuse?

emotional abuse 2It is not necessary that only intimate and romantic relationship can bring about emotional abuse. The emotional abuse can happen between the mother-son or daughter, parent and the child, or vice versa, between the co-workers, between the friends, amongst the official relations or even casual acquaintances. But often the position wielding stronger power would indulge into such an abuse making use of the power inherent in the opposition.

Gender does discriminate when it comes to emotional abuse. Women tend to be more vulnerable than men to emotional exploitation by their men folk.

The ways the perpetrators make use of Emotional Abuse.

There are several ways by which emotional abuse can take place in relationships. Actually abusers may adopt multiple tortuous tools against the weak victims, to control their minds.

Threats

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Threatening to either break the relationship, of leaving the person alone or even threatening to harm physically the victim or self ,defaming or spoiling reputation amongst the friends and family, of taking the kids away are some of the ways . Entire plan of the villain is to play vicious and manipulative mind games to create mental fear, awe and terror and kill the independent thinking of the victim.

Regular Fault Finding and Negation of Contribution

Regular Fault finding, pointing out shortcomings and negation of the person’s any and every act would upset even the most brave and positive person. The constant denial of any appreciation and consideration is a terrible abuse causing low self esteem and feelings of failure in the mind of the victim. Critical words turn into put-downs, which are not productive, it’s abusive. When someone is constantly putting you down or questioning your decisions, there’s a malicious motive behind their behavior.

This chronic shaming wears down the victim’s respectability ,self confidence, decision making ability,  conative skills , reducing him or her to a mere moot spectator to the life and happenings around them. Criticism is often in the garb of taunts, challenges and ridicules to ensure the victim does not react and further gets drowned into the abyss of self insult and pity. For example a person may not be referred to as self respecting person but one who expects others to bow before him or her just because he /she thinks very highly of herself/himself.

Not respecting and responding to opinions and suggestions.

crop-hand-pointing-at-upset-girl_23-2147798382The abuser will have scant regards for victim’s any and every thought, suggestions opinions and would always use statements like,” you don’t know anything and hence don’t talk. A regular flow of fault finding, opposing and blocking, continues. The result of repeatedly having your opinions shot down or being told to shut up or that your thoughts don’t matter is that you stop standing up for yourself. You stop vocalizing your opinions. Ultimately no interaction can exist without open communication and the relationship breaks down.

Such an aggressive abuse can be quite negative. It can be as cruel as the abuser telling you that you are useless, time and again thus killing your sense of self worth completely.

Making one feel unwanted

A relationship evolves and flourishes when one person makes the other feel wanted and reciprocity is maintained. This is golden rule to sustain all successful relationships, be it parent-child relationships, lover- beloved relationships and or husband -wife relationships, and even siblings. When the child is accused, abused punished for no fault of the child, the entire sense of self esteem in the child’s mind suffers. The child feels insulted, demeaned, and feels threatened of being abandoned. Such a behavior by the parent, guardian causes emotional, psychological and mental damage to the child, cause extreme mental harm. This also occurs in intimate relationships in which the abuser continues to stay but repeatedly calls the victim names and makes character assassination or other such social personal insults to show that they have no respect for them. In any such relationship, the result is that the victim feels like no one else would want them either and that they are themselves responsible for such a grim situation.

Isolating the victim

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The abuser makes sure that the victim is kept apart from friends or other family members .This is another form of emotional abuse. A child or partner may not be allowed to interact with friends. An elderly parent may be denied visits to and from family and friends. Without other healthy relationships, the victim becomes more and more dependent upon the abuser to fulfill his or her needs.This is unhealthy and destructive to their lives.

Partners or parents may keep the victim from getting a job, meaning they don’t form relationships with peers and they have no financial independence. Ultimately, losing the abuser would mean losing everything, even if the victim sees that the relationship is not.

Shifting the blame:

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Passing the onus of doing everything and anything wrong on to the victim is one more of emotional abuse. Emotional blaming is a severe form of mental torture that results into emotional abuse. making the victim feel responsible for the acts , behavior not committed by him or her in another form of abuse, whether physical, sexual, or emotional. The perpetrator will make the victim assume or aver specifically that things that happened are his or her doing. Such acts behavior often takes place in privacy and hence none is in a position otherwise to refute the claim made.

How do I stop it?

The only way to stop such emotional abuse is to raise your voice against the abuse even when the others initially may not understand why you have complaints against such a nice person (remember the perpetrator will be always on the right side with others that matter) in the relationship.

Seeking a Family therapist

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Reaching out and seeking a professional advice is away helpful. It is not necessary that your partner will agree but mere discussion with a professional family Therapy counselor will be empowering to identify your issues. Such professional counseling reaching out for help can show you a way ahead to deal with the emotional abuse.

Refusing to bow down to the tricks of the abuser and putting your foot down for such emotional abuse with firmness and finality will help. If it doesn’t, at least it will make the abuser clear that the games played by her or him have been seen through and exposed.

If you have someone in the family suffering from any such situation ,Come and discuss with us ,how to proceed.

You take the first step today and  we help you  find the much needed happiness.

Call  on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

ALKA MANSIK PRAMARSH FOUNDATION
MOBILE 9179383554,7024441183,7224896739.LAND:07314263087
FLAT 102, DEVKI MANSION,16 BAIKUNTH DHAM, INDORE ,M.P. 452018,INDIA
EMAIL: MANSIK PARAMARSH@GMAIL.COM, RAMNIK 123KAPOOR@GMAIL.COM

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adhdSachin (name changed)a young boy of 12 and a student of grade 7th had been termed a big nuisance by his class teachers.They could hardly control his activities.He would just not sit at one place in the classroom. His indiscipline created problems for his teachers in school . Of late he had started arguing back with his tutors at home .There have been complaints of his misbehaving with other children of his class . His mother, a single parent was at her wits end,not knowing how to proceed about. She was advised by the school to consult a psychologist.

ADHD-Awareness-Week-OPI-LivingAkshat {name changed} another child was standing outside the school Principal’s office.This was the third time in the current session when his parents have been called to the school by the authorities.Akshat had been sliding down the side railing of the second floor stairs all alone, when he had been intercepted by his class incharge.A joint evaluation by the school teachers,psychologist and psychiatrist diagnosed severe ADHD in the child. Our experience with treating ADHD children in many such cases have proved that mindful perceptive meditation can train and condition the young brain to concentrate better and hold focus even in the event of child suffering from ADHD.Such a holistic intervention and alternative treatment have benefited many and can help your child maintain self regulation, self discipline, and developing a better attention span.

38372779-confused-teenage-girls-preparing-for-exam-while-studying-with-laptop-and-textbooksWe have observed that many adults and children affected by ADHD find it very challenging to sustain their attention, and they exhibit a very hyper state of mind in situations where they are expected to remain calm and attentive.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation helps calm the hyper mind and delivers the attention training that brings about the much needed self-control.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation is neither religious nor does it promote any kind of cult. It basically involves perceiving your own breathings and vibrations, sensitivity of the endocrine glands of body thereby relaxing all your anxiety, stress and emotional upheavals .It transports you to a stage of oneness with your true inner self. Mindful perceptive Meditation connects you to your emotions , to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensitivity and brings about a greater awareness of what’s going on within you. It brings about a complete sense of physical,mental, psychological emotional well-being.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation have been very effectively used by us to treat anxiety stress and depression. It helps control hypertension and brings down blood pressure .We have successfully verified its positive impact in the treatment of thyroid disorder . Mindful Perceptive Meditation has been effectively used in managing chronic neurological disorders and mood disorders.

HOW CAN MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION HELP PEOPLE WITH ADHD?

psychic cenMindful perceptive meditation exercise develops the inner peace of mind,establishes positive relationship with the self and brings about sense of confidence and stability of mind.It helps regulate functioning of the endocrine glands of body and creates good hormones in the body. Since mindful perceptive meditation involves perception of breathing, perception of centres of our psychic hence brings about a sea change in the mindset of the protagonists.It enhances attention span. It trains the mind in the process of self-observation , trains to take care of all kinds of negativity and develop an internal power of positivity, attention, and to develop different faculties of mind and intellect . It makes the subject better aware of his or her emotional state of mind and impulsivity.

meditation classHOW DOES YOUR CENTER TEACH THE PRACTICE OF MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION ?

Our focus is the client and the issue of ADHD that the client suffers from in addition to providing holistic solution to total life of the client. We provide Mindful Perceptive Meditation on individual basis exclusively as it involves complete focus and involvement of the person’s mind and body which can be done only in an atmosphere where the prime focus is on the individual himself/herself . Our 12 -weeks program consists of daily or on alternate day a one hours training session , and regular -home practise.We also make use of colour therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy simultaneously .

IS THE MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION AN ALTERNATIVE CURE OR A COMPLIMENTARY CURING PROCESS FOR ADHD .

Yes, Mindful Perceptive definitely provides a cure for ADHD,like we have mentioned above but in addition we also make use of Cognitive Behavior Therapy ,Colour Therapy and Holistic Therapy to bring about a total change in Perceptive faculties of the individual.Mindful Perceptive Meditation enables the person to shift focus from disturbing thoughts to constructive and positive thoughts

Although we do not recommend any medication but if someone is on medication already ,after a few weeks, the need for medication will be significantly reduced . Eventually the person will not be needing any such medicine,once the practise of mindful perceptive meditation is done by the person regularly at home too.Unlike meditation ,there are no side effects of perceptive meditation.

The person can in fact practise Mindful Perceptive Meditation anywhere and at any time, and gain complete control on his body and mind rather than reaching for medicine.It is the best stress buster and anxiety control technique for bringing down negative thinking,restlessness and sleeplessness too.

meditation singleHOW AND WHERE CAN MY CHILD JOIN MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION PROGRAM?

Mindful Perceptive Meditation Program is an ongoing individual focussed program.As such any one can join the program whenever the need is felt by the individual,the teacher of the child or even the parents themselves.Psychiatrists too can recommend your child/ward for this program as a complementary treatment for an early cure to the problem.

You can get in touch with us the following way:

Call 07314263087,09179383554,07224896739

Or visit our websites

http://www.perceptivemeditation.com

http://www.familytherapyindia.com

http://www.mansikpramarsh.com

Call on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

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pm2Ashu (name changed) could not do anything in life ever since he had been diagnosed of schizophrenia by the psychiatrist. He had been prescribed psychotic medicines by different psychiatrist doctors wherever his family had taken him to them .Yet nothing helped. His fears and phobias had worsened with time. The voices in his head continued disturbing him. His logical cognitive ability had been completely distorted and for him all the delusions had become the real images and characters.

meditation singleSimilarly Sheena (name changed) continued with the fear and phobia of persecution at the hands of a person who had long moved out of her life five years ago. Sheena had been diagnosed of delusional disorder (a psychotic disorder).Her life had become completely miserable as she would often get lost into her phobia and would not be able to conduct her normal day to day routine life.

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric disorder that disables and distorts the logical thinking and cognition of the individual affected by this chronic brain disorder involving “positive” and “negative” symptoms.

Positive symptoms relate to hallucinations (hearing voices or seeing visions that aren’t real), delusions (fixed false beliefs), and disorganized thinking or speech. People suffering from active positive symptoms often respond to those symptoms in ways that are obvious to others around them (e.g., agitation, disorganization).Ashu, mentioned above had suffered from imaginative voices in his head hearing that someone is out to prosecute him and that he would be sent to prison. While these thoughts were not visible to others but he often complained of hearing voices and attributed the voices to one of the persons he had been dealing with in his family business.

Negative symptoms relate to substantial decline in the affected person’s social interactions, communication, and motivation to conduct day to day affairs. Sheena had displayed negative systems when she had been referred to us for, a “split personality.” behavior, but Schizophrenia has nothing to do with split personality. She had been suffering from delusional disorder, a kind of schizophrenic psychotic disorder.

Ashu and Sheena both exhibited resistance to antipsychotic medications and their family members were definitely at a stage when nothing could help them. Ashu did sometimes show partial improvements only to go back to from where it had all started. We noticed that Sheena’s problem continued to be more chronic and affected all aspects of her life. She did not respond to any psychotic medications being administered by the psychiatrist.

But both Sheena and Ashu found it difficult to establish and maintain relationships within the family and externally. They were unable to carry on their day to day work on account of mood swings and delusions that would take a toll of their logical thinking. Both had virtually cut themselves off socially. Their disordered thought process prevented them to understand that they were not normal in their thinking faculty like other people in their lives. Their family too found it quite an uphill and expensive task   to follow the treatment handed out to them by the doctor every fortnight on account of heavy cost and also due to the patient’s refusal to take the medication.

We decided to make good use of Mindful Perceptive Meditation Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy together to treat both Ashu and Sheena regularly on every alternate day basis in order to maintain regularity and without giving them a chance to revert to their pre conditioned schizophrenic way of thinking and cognition. Initially we found it difficult to communicate with the subjects as they would either not come for counseling or if they had come, they would not pay attention to what was being discussed. Gradually they started to respond to our instructions. We had begun the treatment with “Shwas Preksha ‘(Mindful Perceptive breathing exercise on the psychic centers) conducted under the watchful eye of the expert instructor. Soon we started noticing a significant improvement in both of our clients.

Thereafter we had begun with them the activities of “Mindful Perceptive Meditation” which involves both body and mind into deep meditation on the psychic centers, being fully aware of the moment and the breathe present in every living moment in its total intensity”. This continued along with the regular exercises of Kayotsarga to provide the much needed peaceful perception of the body through mind. Kayotsarga is a process of meditation that dissociates the physical body from the mind and it puts the muscles of the body to   complete rest progressively, somewhat similar to progressive muscle relaxation technique.

Peaceful-Mind-Remedies-South-Croydon-426x426Soon a very significant improvement could be noticed in certain negative symptoms, (e.g., negativity about self and family, sense of doom, lack of interest in surroundings and /lack of drive) started yielding to positive thoughts on all these issues .The clients did respond well as we noticed Ashu and Sheena both had begun looking at the positive aspects of their life. Their sense of appreciation for some aspects of their lives could be felt in their daily interaction with us. We could see their interest reviving in their day to day life too exhibiting positive symptoms.

These results had further been strengthened by the process of Mahaprana  Dhwani {greater inner sound effects  produced by the help of mouth and nose while exhaling  the breath by the patients }reformed  on all psychic centers during the process of deep perceptive breathing exercises and exhalation  undertaken by the patients.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation and CBT has been very effectively used by us in a variety of psychiatric/psychological disorders .We had used Mindful Perceptive Meditation and positive affirmative techniques to enable the affected person correct the functioning of endocrine glands producing negative steroids and emotions and subsequent faulty thought process .The practice of CBT generates critical cognition of actual position of the situation and helps analyze all kinds of thoughts with objectivity and factual back up. The Mindful Perceptive Meditation therapy supports written affirmative statements about the self and situations which would be given as homework exercises and are reviewed later with the clients. The whole process was focused on changing the negative perceptions about self and situations to positive emotions and thoughts.

Generally a patient requires 50 to 60 sessions over a period of three to four months. But in severe cases the sessions (each running for 45 minutes to one hour) can go up to 90 to 120 sessions over a period of 6 to 9 months’ time like it had been extended in these two cases for up to 6 months.

It gives us greater satisfaction and happiness that eventually after a hard work of six months , the patients had been cured of their problems to a large extent and with the help of their family and friends,  the process of rehabilitation  of both of  them into the family and society had been achieved.

We have   been making use of Mindful Perceptive Meditation and Cognitive Behavior Therapy successfully in many other cases of depression, anxiety, stress and many other psychotic disorders and many have been restored to their normal life.

Perceptive Meditation enables you live in and with your breath taking your mind away from your anxiety stress and worries of life .It empowers you to live in the moment with complete mindfulness of your soul ,body and mind “. Ramneek Kapoor.

If you have someone in the family suffering from any such disorder,Come and discuss with us how to proceed.

You take the first step today and  we help you  find the much needed happiness.

Call  on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

 

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Amrit (name changed)had not believed her eyes and ears when she just discovered that her husband has been cheating on her for so many years.She found out about him accidentally on the internet when her friend pointed out to the similarities she noticed in her new instagram friend and Amrit’s husband,both the persons were no different from each other.She was shocked to see his pictures with another woman and a kid.Indeed it was her husband only. Amrit didn’t know what to do.She had become suicidal in her thoughts but the question of her three years old child kept her away from any such action.

She had been referred to us by the same friend.”I didn’t want to come for marital counseling “,said Amrit, “but now that I am here , I want to ask you a very pertinent question, “My husband has apologized to me for hundred of times.He promised to me that he has stopped his affair.He says he is committed to becoming a new man. My family too believes that he has changed. But my heart refuses to trust him .I feel I and my child {she has a three years old daughter } would be better off without an unfaithful husband. But my moot worry is whether I can really think of getting married again . Should I consider starting my life again with somebody unknown and new? Or should I really forgive my husband and become blind to his future clandestine affairs and trust he has improved now”.

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The pain of heartbreak, of loss of faith in her own worth and of loss of trust in her marital relationship is difficult to measure yet it is understandable. She has a lot to deal with in her life,in her marriage ,in her mental and emotional pain. To carry on the hurtful baggage, of her husband’s unfaithfulness, and a broken marriage to heal is definitely a tall order to ask for from any wife. The same is probably true in the case of Savi(name changed) whose husband unabashedly admitted to his affair when Savi had caught him red handed.

It is a very painful decision to make and decide to either sustain a marital storm of infidelity or to end and break a marriage when the hurt has been on account of complete loss of trust.

Is it possible to come back once the trust is broken? Is it possible to heal your family from the mental, emotional and social ordeal caused by infidelity of your partner? Does it make sense to just get out of the current relationship and start over with someone else?

Most victims of infidelity and marital cheating and /or other emotional abuse will prefer to believe that they’ll be safer in a new relationship .They definitely hope they will be happier with someone who doesn’t stray away from marriage or who doesn’t cheat on them or abuse them.

Yes it could be true .Such a wishful thinking is completely understandable . However, Sudha was quickly disappointed when in her case,her new husband proved to be much worse than her first partner.She had been abused by her husband of earlier marriage . It took her good five years to come out of it and get legal divorce .Her new husband who is a divorcee himself continues maintaining relationship with his earlier wife ,despite all objections from Sudha. His statement is ,”I feel responsible for her now that she has been wronged by me”.

In the case of Sudha(name changed) above, it appears that her husband really changed for his first wife where he felt responsible for her after having divorced her.But this certainly causes lots of hurt to Sudha.

I’ve seen husbands transforming themselves and changing their attitude towards marriage and family after getting the “I want a divorce” notice from their wives . This wake up call opens their eyes to the possibility of their losing the existing family. But mere words may not be enough .The couple needs to undergo marriage counseling and family therapy to ensure spouse learns the values of family ,love ,affection and fidelity.Having been awakened to the possibility of divorce and subsequent marital therapy sessions a spouse is less vulnerable to make the same mistake again and lose it all.

According to a survey by researchers at the University of Chicago, about 25 percent of married men and 17 percent of married women in the United States admit having been unfaithful sometimes or the other . Another research findings indicate the probability of cheating by partners in marriage closer to 25 percent of women and 40 to 50 percent of men.The statistics may not be much different in India given the spread of social media in all sections of society and the access to better online communication on these platforms.

I was not sure how Amrit’s husband’s promises will hold till he falls into another affair. What If Amrit gave him another chance,on my advise, what’s the likelihood that he’d make the same mistake that almost caused him to lose his family and daughter? But our persistence and the couple’s regularity and sincerity in attending all sessions of couple’s counseling did help bring about better understanding amongst the partners.Says Amrit,”your sessions have been very helpful.Even I understood where I had to make amends in my relationship and attitude towards our marriage.And as for my husband, he is a completely different man now with complete sense of loyalty love and affection towards me and our daughter “.

Yes I’m aware that this could be a rare case where a husband truly transformed himself and proved to his family that he’s changed.

crossroads cpl

But If partners were to leave her husbands or the other way around,the very concept of marriage may have to be given a new meaning by the society.It has been my belief that a family is a place where a human can be educated,reformed and brought back with right counseling and marital therapy.Not that I would recommend cheating in this sacred relationship but our counseling and family therapy can ensure that this sort of transgressions would never happen to her again.

But as I had mentioned in my one of write-ups earlier, many wives continue suffering abuse in relationship for years and years .When they wake up to seek amends to the marriage and expect their spouses to mend their ways, it becomes too late.

The best advise here could be ,”to keep an eye on your spouse and read the signs of infidelity”,but it is not the intention of this writer to make a family a detective agency.

Yes it’s true an erring spouse has made serious mistake,but it is also true that the warning of a divorce and taking the kids away with you could be a very harsh wake up call for him to mend his waywardness and improve for future. He can become a better spouse better than anyone else not known and coming as a stranger into your and your children’s life.

We will help you with our counseling and family therapy to develop fulfilling and complete relationships between the two of you .

There is a very strong possibility that the erring spouse who had been disrespecting the marital relationship will now become very keen to transform it; into true love based marriage.

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In situation to the contrary here the wife will have a choice. She can let her husband go and she can get out of the marriage. Her husband most likely will marry another woman and treat her like a queen. He will leave you saddled with the kids that you had from him (like it has happened to Divya (name changed) whose husband left her high and dry with a two years old child ,after their divorce.

The question obviously is: how do you heal from your hurt and ordeal? How do you forgive? How do you get to the head-space where you’re able to give your spouse another chance? These are the questions we help you find answer to in our Family Therapy and Marriage counseling sessions .

Come and discuss with us how to proceed.

You take the first step today and find the much needed happiness by calling on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

family therapyFamily will survive all storms with a little patience and perseverance.

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download“Perceptive Meditation enables you live in and with your breath taking your mind away from your anxiety stress and worries of life .It empowers you to live in the moment with complete mindfulness of your soul ,body and mind “. Ramneek Kapoor.

What is Perceptive Meditation and What is Mindfulness ?

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“Perceptive Meditation is the intense involvement of body and mind into deep meditation on the psychic centres being fully aware of the moment and the breathe present in every living moment in its total intensity”

Mindfulness refers to the process of focussing complete attention to the present moment of life and living life in its every moment with complete awareness .This enables acceptance of life’s every moment in its totality and being aware of life in a non judgemental manner .In a way Perceptive Meditation and Mindfulness both work in the same direction for the same purpose.

How do Perceptive Meditation and Mindfulness help when Practiced together
  • Both are practiced with the mind fully present in the here and now
  • Perceptive meditation through the process of Srir Preksha {Perceptive Meditation on various parts of human body each focussed separately } helps the protagonist meditate on the various parts of the body to experience both the negative and the positive without reacting or expressing any likes or the dislikes, love or hatred for any part , making the journey of the mind through the pleasant or the unpleasant thoughts sans reactions and thus developing a feeling of equanimity in all kinds of circumstances. Mindfulness is similar way of experiences of the pleasant and unpleasant being fully aware and feeling unthreatened .
  • Perceptive meditation develops better connect to the self and in the process bringing better acceptance of the internals with the externals, and of the other humans in the world around with complete mindfulness
  • The process of practising deep meditation in total mindfulness of the psychic centres brings about a complete peace of mind, a better physical , mental and emotional health in the individual and empowers with the cosmic energy.
  • The process of kayotsarga ie, the progressive mindful journey on all the body parts and psychic centres to dissociate the psychic centres and body parts consciously from the mind brings about a total; celestial self-awareness
  • The process of Lesya Preksha (mindful perception of the celestial colourful lights )on the psychic centers brings about a total peace of mind, better mental and emotional health and develops acceptance of all kinds of ups and downs in life without extreme reactions , thus empowering the mind for better tolerance and understanding .
  • Mindful perceptive meditation of the psychic centres helps separate the thoughts from the emotions distinguishing imagined from the reality.
  • Mindful perceptions of the psychic centres teaches to the practitioner that everything is temporal and that everything changes; that same way emotions, thoughts and feelings are also short-lived and temporary like the weather.Nothing remains permanent .
  • Perceptive meditation with total mindfulness brings about better balance of mind and emotional stability.
  • Mindful Perceptive Meditation brings about serenity ,calmness and peacefulness.
  • The mindful perceptive meditation makes the practitioner aware of the negative and the positive both and trains to focus the mind on positives .

Perceptive Meditation, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

preksha dhyanMindful Perceptive Meditation on Psychic Centres is a very powerful, evidence-based meditation tool for enhancing emotional ,psychological and mental health.

It has very successfully been used as an effective intervention in a wide range of clinical disorders, including bodily distress disorder,psychosomatic pains, chronic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, OCD, substance abuse, and other neurotic and psychotic disorders bringing relief to the affected .

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WHAT IS PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION AND WHAT IS COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY (CBT)?

meditation-percPerceptive meditation is a technique of meditation on the psychic centers of human body by which changes can be brought to the emotions,feelings,perception,attitudes, behaviors, and the total thinking process of the man. Perception on the psychic centres  refer to the process of  focussing and meditating on these centres of consciousness with complete absorption of mind and body and getting them connected to the endocrine glands situated on the psychic centres . The chemicals secretions this way  are rectified by turning the secretion from negative to positives. Such Perceptive Meditation energises the conscious, the subconscious and the unconscious thereby benefiting the body and the mind on three different levels :

pc allPSYCHIC CENTRES

Perceptive Meditation on the physical psychic centres  rejuvenates, re- energises and revitalises the immune system of the body and the blood circulation to all vital points of reduces the impact of the negative secretions if any in the system.

Perceptive Meditation on the psychic centres and the endocrinology glands harmonises the efficient functioning of the emotion system of the mind. Such efficient functioning   of the endocrine  and the nervous system removes all negative thoughts and emotions and generate positive perception of the environment, of the self and of the problems in the day to day life. Thus eradicating depression, stress, anxiety, psychosomatic, neurotic and psychotic disorders without the use of medication and drugs.

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Perceptive Meditation trains the mind to clean itself of the stress, the anxiety and get rid of the negative influences like depression, the low self esteem, the suicidal tendency and ideation,  of many other serious mental disorders.

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY

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Let us understand what exactly is the Cognitive Behavior? Cognitive behavior refers to the behavior of the man that can be perceptive and understood. As per the Cambridge Dictionary cognitive means, “connected with thinking or conscious mental processes, relating to or involving the processes of thinking and reasoning. This obviously means that in simple language cognition refers to the process of thinking or of reflecting. Cognitive Behavior Therapy then should be looked as a Therapy that help people improve upon or rectify their thinking that occurs when experiencing emotional distress. The distress so felt affects the emotional state of mind and the behavior .During times of emotional upheavals and distress the mind loses touch with the cognition and becomes negative .The emotions so generated then perceive at all situations, people and events in a negative manner,causing distress all around. The thoughts under such negative emotional state of mind too continue to be negative, and so do the feelings and behavioral response to the external world often leading to melancholy, sadness, feeling of being alone, suicide ideation, psychosomatic bodily distress, eating disorders, obsessions, anxiety, extreme stress .

How does perceptive meditation help : Perceptive Meditation at this stage acts as the positive transformation factor on the inner consciousness of the human psychic centres bringing about a total change into the perception, cognition, thinking and emotions . It converts the negative emotions into the positive emotions .Perceptive Meditation controls the flow of negative energy and generate the positive energy . The negative chemicals produced by the endocrinology glands of the body are stopped and positive chemicals begin flowing, giving rise to the positive perception about the self , emotions feelings, thoughts and subsequent behaviour.Perceptive Meditation Therapy is a meditational self-perceptive, endocrinology based physio-psychotherapy to cure disorders related to emotional, physical, mental and psychological illnesses of the individuals. It is a scientifically proven powerful perceptive meditation therapy to root out the psychological, mental, emotional, social and physical disorders. The identification and elimination of the real causes of physical diseases, mental imbalances and emotional distortions through the gentle perceptive meditation on the psychic centres brings out a new awakened individual person with perfect mental, physical, emotional and social balance leading to a better society.

How does CBT Help : CBT helps in exploration of the source/ events/ experiences ,the origins of the negative thoughts and beliefs e.g. childhood, relationships, workplace bullying or a traumatic event that led to negative thinking , beliefs and caused the emotional, cognitive and behavioural distress to the affected individual. The counsellor then through exploring the evidence that disputes them and help to develop more positive outlook towards those events /emotions .The exploration and identification of the causes of distress ultimately with the help of talk therapy and other mind assuaging tools bring out positive acceptance of the self and positive behaviours .

WHAT CAN PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION AND CBT HELP WITH ?

We mentioned above that both CBT and Perceptive Mediation basically help with the formation of the more positive acceptance of self ,and thus curing the affected of depression, anxiety, stress, low self esteem or relationship problems.

There is evidence to show that Perceptive Meditation and CBT when used together under the guidance of our expert has produced spectacular results bringing people back from disorders such as Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Insomnia, Anger, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Eating Disorders including anorexia and bulimia, low self-esteem, childhood trauma and personality disorders.

WHAT DOES PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION AND CBT JOINT THERAPY INVOLVE?

Perceptive Meditation and CBT joint therapy involve attending 50-minute sessions 3 times a week.

In these sessions you undertake perceptive meditation on the psychic centres and endocrinology glands curing them of all negative effects and in addition goal focused positive mind building exercise therapy, with written and spoken tasks to get rid of depression,anxiety stress,fears ,negativity and form positive self perception.

All sessions are conducted in collaborative manner without the use of medicines.The subtle behaviour change happen without causing any mental trauma or stress to the client. The new cognitive ability so developed is long lasting empowering and helps the client with new more positive perception about the self, the world, and others, and enhance emotional well-being.

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

meditation-percRAMNEEK’S SCIENCE OF LIVING AND PREKSHA MEDITATION CENTRE
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maxresdefaultWhen Deepti (name changed) had called on us the other day , she had wanted an appointment for her husband , who she thought had been suffering from depression for quite long time . I had advised her that she should accompany her husband to the counseling session. After a few sessions with both of them together and separately with each partner ,it emerged that both of them suffered from depression.Yet they have been in a denial mode.I have seen in many cases that partners refuse to believe that what they are suspecting others suffer from could also be happening to them .They would always believe that just because the other person is complaining he or she could be depressed.Deepti had faced similar situation when she had come to me.Explained Deepti,”my husband Sameer {name changed}blames me for the problems in our marriage.He says that we have all the problems in our relationship because I am depressed.He tells everyone in my family and his family that if my wife was not undergoing depression,there would not be any issues in our marriage.But on the contrary I believe it’s always my husband who suffers from depression.He always complains about everything and blames me unnecessarily when things do not workout as per his plans”.

Family therapist during meeting with unhappy, married coupleIt is normal to have little bit difference of opinion in marital life but should each time difference arisen become the cause of a major fight then the husband wife team need to look at their status of their perceptual faculty. It is common to become little dejected after marital argument but to think of the other person being depressed definitely should be a cause of concern for the partners.It is very likely that both partners are perceiving some issues,concerns and a few problems in marriage negatively that has been giving depression to each other.Depression is made out to be a neurotic  disorder  hence people are always afraid of agreeing that they are undergoing such state of emotional upheaval.The usual response to such situation being.”I am o.k. it is the other person who seems to be suffering from depression”.

argu cplSomewhat similar is the story of Seema and Jatin (names changed) both budding doctors still in their process of setting up their household. The problem arose when a fine day Seema threatened to commit suicide on a very small whimsical issue. She had convinced herself that her husband does not pay her as much attention as he is giving to his other female colleagues in the hospital where he works . This came as a very major shock to Jatin. Jatin had nowhere ever thought about his coworkers in this manner. No amount of explanation could convince his wife and she continued to fight with him from time to time on the same subject forcing her husband to lead a solitary life away from the friends and acquaintances.What began as a depression with one of the spouses had pulled the other partner too into the same state of mind ,giving him depression. Jatin explains his situation in the following words,” My wife Seema has been idealising suicide from her college days. Our relationship dates back to seven years now. We had begun  dating in the first year of our college. In the college too she was always throwing tantrums on me.It is quite surprising that she acts in this manner only when I am around and with me only.She would often break up with me on small pretexts and remain incommunicado for days together. She  will come out of her shell on her own. She would then hardly remember that she has not been in touch with me for so many days. Everything becomes very normal for her soon , but it leaves me completely drained out emotionally.I can never discuss about such a behaviour of my wife to any one in the family or friends as she behaves normal in front of others.I do understand that she does it to gain my attention . For me she is my wife .I do give her the required love and affection. My whole life revolves around her . But I fail to understand why would she want me to be exclusively with her  only all the times. This kind of obsessive  behaviour from my wife has started telling on my professional responsibility. I can not be a doctor in such a big hospital where I am working by living in isolation and yet I do not know how to solve the problem.You being a psychologist could possibly understand the situation better and help us”.

A few sessions with the couple revealed that they both in spite of their long dating history had failed to emotionally connect with each other so far. Seema had wanted to make the emotional connection but had not understood how to proceed with it. She had always wanted to make Jatin part of her inner life. Each time she tried she sounded more pathetic and distressed and felt completely remorseful  when she did not get the desired attention and response from Jatin.

arguing coupleJatin understood her well but he too could not connect with Seema.He did not know how to make her feel loved and understood.She just wanted him to love her and care about her. But her such behaviour had put  off Jatin, leaving him cold and at times uninterested in her .Both the partners had been frustrated and didn’t know how to handle such a situation.

It has been observed by us that one partner in a marriage is depressed , the cause would always  be a marital situation  between the two spouses.  The solution to such a situation has to be found within the marriage situation only.There can be no solution by putting the onus to only one of the  members to the marriage, as the reason is not individual but a common factor is responsible for  whatever is happening to the spouses.

psychologist-helping-couple-relationship-difficulties-office-49310915In the event of either of you suffering from depression , both of you should help each other explore how your relationship dynamic could be  causing such a depression. Though you may want the other person to get individual treatment to his or her complaints by way of the intervention of a psychologist, it is in truth be your total marital situation that needs to be looked in a different perspective as different from your own point of view.  In such a situation you would do well to get your self assessed by our   professional family therapist and counselor. We will together then  work out a plan  that works to revive your marital relationship .Always remember that  you both are equal partners to the happiness and bliss of your marriage and hence let us find the way to the resolution of the differences in marriage too together with each partner respecting and trusting the other equally.

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

family therapyFamily will survive all storms with a little patience and perseverance

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