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Archive for the ‘daily writings and musings of the psychologist’ Category

The foundations of a good harmonious relationship in families have never ever been shaken so much as is being witnessed over last few months during the reign of Covid19 pandemic .I am obviously not referring to the spread of the virus .The spread of discontent,of apprehension and of unknown has been hitting the families much more in addition to of course the threat to the physical health on account of no activity,no source to let out the energy.

There have been widespread incidents of frayed tempers ,stomping of feet,exchange of good words or bad words , accusations and shouting combats amongst the members of families stuck up on account of the lockdowns and now on account of the fear that the devil Covid-19 can strike any one any time as the lockdown is opening up.We are currently into the third stage of opening up of the lockdown.

The curtailment of freedom has come with a bigger loss of business,employment and of course the apprehensions about losing assets bought on EMIs .You gain a respectability in the society you come from when you are gainfully employed and the same society looks down upon you when you end up losing your business ,job or the means of earning .That’s a very ironical situation though it’s true.

It’s not that there have not been instances of spread of disease in or the instances of smaller fights within the family,but the mental scars as given by Covid-19 will take a long long time to heal as the experts in mental health feel.

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I am lost. I am annoyed.I am sad and definitely upset to the news of Sushant Singh Rajput hanging himself ….Yes I donot use the word suicide because I look at it as an act of hanging oneself by the noose as a defiance to life that lives within us .

Till death do us apart is a term often used by the lovers,in their wedding woes and the priests seal the pact of matrimony based on this statement. But why don’t we say till life lives within us .It is so because no one is sure how long the life lives within us .It is only when the life stops living within us that we think of inviting death by self annihilation.

We are however certain that death will definitely do us apart one day or the other and hence we never question the certainty .What is already there is visible to the naked eye and does not cause much disturbance to the mind.

Life lives within us when we feel ,sense smell and savour it .Life lives within us when we live in our mind body and soul .Life lives within us when we get to do the things that we enjoy. Some live through their life till that day and when this doesn’t happen they come to the conclusion that life within them has already come to an end.To such a mind outer manifestations of life do not interest them . Even then the multitudes wait for their life to somehow live till it finds it’s ultimate cessation through death . Some donot want to wait for that death day.On the contrary they take a whimsical decision to make and chose their own death day. Such are the people who walk out with a choice of their own making mockery of the life .To them death becomes dearer than the life.

And is that why men commit themselves to a different world…hoping to find a life that lives within them.

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panic attackThe sound of ambulance and police vans’ siren outside hurt .She just looked out of the window and the caravan of many vehicles running at a high speed just down below on the road, triggered an instant panic in her mind .She felt her heart pounding like a hammer in her chest. Her head was getting lighter. She couldn’t stand and sat on the bed immediately to prevent her falling. She could hardly breathe and felt her breathes getting shorter and shorter. The acute pain in her legs shot through like needles .She felt she would faint .She was sweating profusely. She wanted to call her husband but couldn’t raise her voice as she felt her throat choked.

panicSuch a situation can take place with anyone. You can get a surge of fear racing through your mind and panic attack triggers .This may last for five to ten minutes, but the panic and the bodily reaction, together can leave you mentally and physically paralyzed temporarily. You then want to avoid such situation at any cost in future as you don’t want to experience the same panic attack again.

A few steps as we enlist them below can help cope up with such a panic situation.

  1. Since you have experienced the trigger once you will be able to identify the initial symptoms. If ever such a situation arises again. You need to tell yourself that,” it is only my anxiety building up “, and tell yourself, “I don’t have to lose my control. I am fine “.girl-praying-hands-pray-41192
  2. During such a situation, talking to your own self and listening to your own voice can help .Speak to yourself in the affirmative. Acknowledge that it is only a thought and that the thought will pass away. Just say,” I am a positive person and I don’t have to think negative. I am good and I am a healthy person”.
  3. girl-praying-hands-eyelashes-41942Deep breathing exercises during this can help. Put your right hand on your heart and left hand spread just below the belly button on your stomach .Start inhaling deeply and exhaling as much longer. Just focus on your breathing and inhale deep and exhale deep for three to five minutes. Keep your mind focused on the rise and fall of chest and stomach by breathing exercises and soon your mind will move away from the panic and you will feel better.
  4. Focus in the present and focus on your situation. Do not try to hide it. Do not try to wish it away. Acknowledge, it is happening to you and that you are fighting it out. The room is yours and the person is you only. Such a presence of mind can be brought about by identifying your favorite sitting spot, your television, your mobile, and your leftover coffee Cup in the room. Think of the aroma of coffee you just had. Or the good fragrance of your favorite flowers .Such feel of familiar environment will help tell you, “I am fine and all is good with me “.
  5. Such panic attack usually triggers in case you haven’t had food or you are thirsty or even when you haven’t had a normal sleep .Just run over your mind the questions, 1. Am I tired, 2. Am I hungry 3? Do I need to drink water 4.what’s making me restless .You will soon get the answer and then take necessary remedial steps.
  6. relaxing poseProgressive Muscles Relaxation Exercise will help alleviate the bodily discomfort and muscle spasms. Begin from the toes of your feet , relax each muscle ,travel upward gradually ,relax calf muscles, the knee muscles, thigh muscles, hips and then focus on stomach ,chest shoulders ,neck ,forehead and head muscles. Spend 15 to 30 seconds on each muscle part and once you have finished, keep feeling relaxed all through the physique.
  7. exercising 2Do not give up on your daily quota of physical exercise. Manage your workout schedule regularly, be it yoga, spot jogging, walking all over the home or exercising with your partner, helping each other with calisthenics.
  8. Living indoor for long may necessitate popping up a few vitamins to build up the immune system. Vitamin C, Vitamin D or B12, can be added to your daily dose after talking to your physician.
  9. Do remember to say your grace to the lord almighty for keeping us alive and healthy. Do pray for the sick and dying and ask God to stop the annihilation of the humans.exercising
  10. Let’s together thank all our heroes e.g. the doctors, nurses, health workers and paramedics, the municipal staff cleaning and sanitizing colonies, roads and buildings for our safety.

 

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Anita declined invitations to her friend’s home , as she knew she would not be able to control her son from wandering about in her friends’ place nor could he be left alone home unattended .Her son Deepak has been diagnosed with ADHD. She preferred staying back home rather than getting embarrassed by being told ,”your son is not in your control .You need to be more strict with him”.Any amount of explanation to people was of no use .They don’t understand,what it is and how it feels to become a mother to an ADHD child.She can not control him at home too.The child is always edgy ,restless and agitated for constantly being followed by her all around,and being told,don’t touch this,leave that alone or sit still,don’t move.

From the minute I entered the office to listen to the school’s complaints about my 9 years old son Gautam I had been anticipating this time they would ask me find another school for him .I had come prepared to apologise and request them to allow me more time to discipline Gautam .I wanted to promise my son would behave henceforth.

I noticed Gautam fidgeting restlessly in his seat. He picked up the paper weight from the table and started rolling it like a roller pin on the table glass . I took away the weight and told Gautam to sit quietly.
But as soon as I began my greetings to the teachers in the room ,my son got up from his seat and moved towards the side of the Principal’s chair.
I felt quite awkward and ashamed of myself. I lost it , and shouted at my son,”get back to your seat and sit still “.

The principal smiled at me and in a very gentle tone told me,”do not pay attention to the child.He will soon be fine”.In a very sweet hush she told Gautam,” Mr you want to sit here or next to your mom.If you sit here I will have to move out”.Gautam gently moved back.
Eventually I felt relaxed.Something just told me,”this school can handle my son better “.

Most of the schools we have been to earlier would simply judge my son as someone with destructive mindset because they just didn’t understand the condition of ADHD .

I want to discuss the Term ADHD so that people understand such so called attention deficit hyper kids , their restlessness and ADHD.

It is never the fault of the child that he behaves like the way he does .

A hyper child’s brain works differently as compared to the normal kids.An ADHD kid suffers from neurological issue. The child doesn’t do things he does deliberately. The urge to be on the go comes from within .It is purely uncontrollable.,Only if the child could be trained to have more self-control and focus, he would behave differently. It’s not easy for ADHD child .He /she gets no fun but on the contrary struggles with such issues. Most of the people are not aware of such conditions of the child and they form an opinion ,” “It must be the parents’ fault that the child behaves this way”.
Every parent will prefer a disciplined child.But in such case the parent is as helpless as the child and it is wrong to hold the parent responsible.
It is a complicated neural cognitive issue and not a regular behavioural matter

ADHD refers to the neural complications,affective,conative , cognitive and neural disturbances of the child. It does not simply refer to the child being indisciplined, mischievous , out of control. not just about being “hyper” nor , not listening and following instructions .His visible behaviour is just a minor fraction of what he has been mentally suffering internally. He suffers and finds it difficult in many other areas of his life which may not be apparently seen by all of us. He struggles to handle even those routine things of life which for your normal kids are just a daily chorus . My ADHD child finds it difficult to manage his homework. He loses track of his time .He often loses his little things like pen, pencil, copies, notebooks and sometimes even his school bag. His chain of thoughts get derailed, and emotions go haywire . He just lives for the moment, the hour and the day,because he does not know where his mind will move next or what he needs to attend to next .

1.Should we hold parents responsible if the child is not normal
It is possible that all parents will show some leniency ,some tolerance and patience towards their young children.We don’t always present a picture of perfection in our upbringing. We may not always do the right thing as a parent, but my parenting isn’t the cause of his challenges. Yes, I discipline him. And when he acts out, I give him consequences. But what works with other kids often doesn’t work with him. Or it doesn’t work every time. Sometimes I blame myself, even though I’m not sure what I’m blaming myself for.
2.Is he really rude or insulting. Trust me , he is not He’s not being rude or defiant.
Well, he can be those things from time to time, just like any kid. But the behaviour you may see as disrespectful (to me, or to other people) isn’t really that. Once my son realizes he’s been hurtful or made others unhappy, he feels sorry too and can apologise too. He doesn’t mean to hurt anyone

3. Parents try hard to teach their child and believe me the child would try equally hard to learn and change.
Parents need to make schedules and checklists to try to keep things on track. A disciplined schedule,a set of role-play can teach ways to him to could handle day to day life differently. The ADHD child has to work a little harder every day to keep himself focussed both in school and at home .Believe me it can be very challenging.

4.It is not easy for a parent to put a young child on medication and counseling but for child’s own benefit I have done that too and would advise all those with an ADHD child to evaluate the option.It will be in the long run a completely helpful step.

5. People should look into him beyond the child’s sickness. The child will have many other talents to exhibit and develop his personality only if we don’t simply make him a subject of ridicule and anger all the time.

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adhdSachin (name changed)a young boy of 12 and a student of grade 7th had been termed a big nuisance by his class teachers.They could hardly control his activities.He would just not sit at one place in the classroom. His indiscipline created problems for his teachers in school . Of late he had started arguing back with his tutors at home .There have been complaints of his misbehaving with other children of his class . His mother, a single parent was at her wits end,not knowing how to proceed about. She was advised by the school to consult a psychologist.

ADHD-Awareness-Week-OPI-LivingAkshat {name changed} another child was standing outside the school Principal’s office.This was the third time in the current session when his parents have been called to the school by the authorities.Akshat had been sliding down the side railing of the second floor stairs all alone, when he had been intercepted by his class incharge.A joint evaluation by the school teachers,psychologist and psychiatrist diagnosed severe ADHD in the child. Our experience with treating ADHD children in many such cases have proved that mindful perceptive meditation can train and condition the young brain to concentrate better and hold focus even in the event of child suffering from ADHD.Such a holistic intervention and alternative treatment have benefited many and can help your child maintain self regulation, self discipline, and developing a better attention span.

38372779-confused-teenage-girls-preparing-for-exam-while-studying-with-laptop-and-textbooksWe have observed that many adults and children affected by ADHD find it very challenging to sustain their attention, and they exhibit a very hyper state of mind in situations where they are expected to remain calm and attentive.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation helps calm the hyper mind and delivers the attention training that brings about the much needed self-control.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation is neither religious nor does it promote any kind of cult. It basically involves perceiving your own breathings and vibrations, sensitivity of the endocrine glands of body thereby relaxing all your anxiety, stress and emotional upheavals .It transports you to a stage of oneness with your true inner self. Mindful perceptive Meditation connects you to your emotions , to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensitivity and brings about a greater awareness of what’s going on within you. It brings about a complete sense of physical,mental, psychological emotional well-being.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation have been very effectively used by us to treat anxiety stress and depression. It helps control hypertension and brings down blood pressure .We have successfully verified its positive impact in the treatment of thyroid disorder . Mindful Perceptive Meditation has been effectively used in managing chronic neurological disorders and mood disorders.

HOW CAN MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION HELP PEOPLE WITH ADHD?

psychic cenMindful perceptive meditation exercise develops the inner peace of mind,establishes positive relationship with the self and brings about sense of confidence and stability of mind.It helps regulate functioning of the endocrine glands of body and creates good hormones in the body. Since mindful perceptive meditation involves perception of breathing, perception of centres of our psychic hence brings about a sea change in the mindset of the protagonists.It enhances attention span. It trains the mind in the process of self-observation , trains to take care of all kinds of negativity and develop an internal power of positivity, attention, and to develop different faculties of mind and intellect . It makes the subject better aware of his or her emotional state of mind and impulsivity.

meditation classHOW DOES YOUR CENTER TEACH THE PRACTICE OF MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION ?

Our focus is the client and the issue of ADHD that the client suffers from in addition to providing holistic solution to total life of the client. We provide Mindful Perceptive Meditation on individual basis exclusively as it involves complete focus and involvement of the person’s mind and body which can be done only in an atmosphere where the prime focus is on the individual himself/herself . Our 12 -weeks program consists of daily or on alternate day a one hours training session , and regular -home practise.We also make use of colour therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy simultaneously .

IS THE MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION AN ALTERNATIVE CURE OR A COMPLIMENTARY CURING PROCESS FOR ADHD .

Yes, Mindful Perceptive definitely provides a cure for ADHD,like we have mentioned above but in addition we also make use of Cognitive Behavior Therapy ,Colour Therapy and Holistic Therapy to bring about a total change in Perceptive faculties of the individual.Mindful Perceptive Meditation enables the person to shift focus from disturbing thoughts to constructive and positive thoughts

Although we do not recommend any medication but if someone is on medication already ,after a few weeks, the need for medication will be significantly reduced . Eventually the person will not be needing any such medicine,once the practise of mindful perceptive meditation is done by the person regularly at home too.Unlike meditation ,there are no side effects of perceptive meditation.

The person can in fact practise Mindful Perceptive Meditation anywhere and at any time, and gain complete control on his body and mind rather than reaching for medicine.It is the best stress buster and anxiety control technique for bringing down negative thinking,restlessness and sleeplessness too.

meditation singleHOW AND WHERE CAN MY CHILD JOIN MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION PROGRAM?

Mindful Perceptive Meditation Program is an ongoing individual focussed program.As such any one can join the program whenever the need is felt by the individual,the teacher of the child or even the parents themselves.Psychiatrists too can recommend your child/ward for this program as a complementary treatment for an early cure to the problem.

You can get in touch with us the following way:

Call 07314263087,09179383554,07224896739

Or visit our websites

http://www.perceptivemeditation.com

http://www.familytherapyindia.com

http://www.mansikpramarsh.com

Call on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

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pm2Ashu (name changed) could not do anything in life ever since he had been diagnosed of schizophrenia by the psychiatrist. He had been prescribed psychotic medicines by different psychiatrist doctors wherever his family had taken him to them .Yet nothing helped. His fears and phobias had worsened with time. The voices in his head continued disturbing him. His logical cognitive ability had been completely distorted and for him all the delusions had become the real images and characters.

meditation singleSimilarly Sheena (name changed) continued with the fear and phobia of persecution at the hands of a person who had long moved out of her life five years ago. Sheena had been diagnosed of delusional disorder (a psychotic disorder).Her life had become completely miserable as she would often get lost into her phobia and would not be able to conduct her normal day to day routine life.

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric disorder that disables and distorts the logical thinking and cognition of the individual affected by this chronic brain disorder involving “positive” and “negative” symptoms.

Positive symptoms relate to hallucinations (hearing voices or seeing visions that aren’t real), delusions (fixed false beliefs), and disorganized thinking or speech. People suffering from active positive symptoms often respond to those symptoms in ways that are obvious to others around them (e.g., agitation, disorganization).Ashu, mentioned above had suffered from imaginative voices in his head hearing that someone is out to prosecute him and that he would be sent to prison. While these thoughts were not visible to others but he often complained of hearing voices and attributed the voices to one of the persons he had been dealing with in his family business.

Negative symptoms relate to substantial decline in the affected person’s social interactions, communication, and motivation to conduct day to day affairs. Sheena had displayed negative systems when she had been referred to us for, a “split personality.” behavior, but Schizophrenia has nothing to do with split personality. She had been suffering from delusional disorder, a kind of schizophrenic psychotic disorder.

Ashu and Sheena both exhibited resistance to antipsychotic medications and their family members were definitely at a stage when nothing could help them. Ashu did sometimes show partial improvements only to go back to from where it had all started. We noticed that Sheena’s problem continued to be more chronic and affected all aspects of her life. She did not respond to any psychotic medications being administered by the psychiatrist.

But both Sheena and Ashu found it difficult to establish and maintain relationships within the family and externally. They were unable to carry on their day to day work on account of mood swings and delusions that would take a toll of their logical thinking. Both had virtually cut themselves off socially. Their disordered thought process prevented them to understand that they were not normal in their thinking faculty like other people in their lives. Their family too found it quite an uphill and expensive task   to follow the treatment handed out to them by the doctor every fortnight on account of heavy cost and also due to the patient’s refusal to take the medication.

We decided to make good use of Mindful Perceptive Meditation Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy together to treat both Ashu and Sheena regularly on every alternate day basis in order to maintain regularity and without giving them a chance to revert to their pre conditioned schizophrenic way of thinking and cognition. Initially we found it difficult to communicate with the subjects as they would either not come for counseling or if they had come, they would not pay attention to what was being discussed. Gradually they started to respond to our instructions. We had begun the treatment with “Shwas Preksha ‘(Mindful Perceptive breathing exercise on the psychic centers) conducted under the watchful eye of the expert instructor. Soon we started noticing a significant improvement in both of our clients.

Thereafter we had begun with them the activities of “Mindful Perceptive Meditation” which involves both body and mind into deep meditation on the psychic centers, being fully aware of the moment and the breathe present in every living moment in its total intensity”. This continued along with the regular exercises of Kayotsarga to provide the much needed peaceful perception of the body through mind. Kayotsarga is a process of meditation that dissociates the physical body from the mind and it puts the muscles of the body to   complete rest progressively, somewhat similar to progressive muscle relaxation technique.

Peaceful-Mind-Remedies-South-Croydon-426x426Soon a very significant improvement could be noticed in certain negative symptoms, (e.g., negativity about self and family, sense of doom, lack of interest in surroundings and /lack of drive) started yielding to positive thoughts on all these issues .The clients did respond well as we noticed Ashu and Sheena both had begun looking at the positive aspects of their life. Their sense of appreciation for some aspects of their lives could be felt in their daily interaction with us. We could see their interest reviving in their day to day life too exhibiting positive symptoms.

These results had further been strengthened by the process of Mahaprana  Dhwani {greater inner sound effects  produced by the help of mouth and nose while exhaling  the breath by the patients }reformed  on all psychic centers during the process of deep perceptive breathing exercises and exhalation  undertaken by the patients.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation and CBT has been very effectively used by us in a variety of psychiatric/psychological disorders .We had used Mindful Perceptive Meditation and positive affirmative techniques to enable the affected person correct the functioning of endocrine glands producing negative steroids and emotions and subsequent faulty thought process .The practice of CBT generates critical cognition of actual position of the situation and helps analyze all kinds of thoughts with objectivity and factual back up. The Mindful Perceptive Meditation therapy supports written affirmative statements about the self and situations which would be given as homework exercises and are reviewed later with the clients. The whole process was focused on changing the negative perceptions about self and situations to positive emotions and thoughts.

Generally a patient requires 50 to 60 sessions over a period of three to four months. But in severe cases the sessions (each running for 45 minutes to one hour) can go up to 90 to 120 sessions over a period of 6 to 9 months’ time like it had been extended in these two cases for up to 6 months.

It gives us greater satisfaction and happiness that eventually after a hard work of six months , the patients had been cured of their problems to a large extent and with the help of their family and friends,  the process of rehabilitation  of both of  them into the family and society had been achieved.

We have   been making use of Mindful Perceptive Meditation and Cognitive Behavior Therapy successfully in many other cases of depression, anxiety, stress and many other psychotic disorders and many have been restored to their normal life.

Perceptive Meditation enables you live in and with your breath taking your mind away from your anxiety stress and worries of life .It empowers you to live in the moment with complete mindfulness of your soul ,body and mind “. Ramneek Kapoor.

If you have someone in the family suffering from any such disorder,Come and discuss with us how to proceed.

You take the first step today and  we help you  find the much needed happiness.

Call  on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

 

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Amrit (name changed)had not believed her eyes and ears when she just discovered that her husband has been cheating on her for so many years.She found out about him accidentally on the internet when her friend pointed out to the similarities she noticed in her new instagram friend and Amrit’s husband,both the persons were no different from each other.She was shocked to see his pictures with another woman and a kid.Indeed it was her husband only. Amrit didn’t know what to do.She had become suicidal in her thoughts but the question of her three years old child kept her away from any such action.

She had been referred to us by the same friend.”I didn’t want to come for marital counseling “,said Amrit, “but now that I am here , I want to ask you a very pertinent question, “My husband has apologized to me for hundred of times.He promised to me that he has stopped his affair.He says he is committed to becoming a new man. My family too believes that he has changed. But my heart refuses to trust him .I feel I and my child {she has a three years old daughter } would be better off without an unfaithful husband. But my moot worry is whether I can really think of getting married again . Should I consider starting my life again with somebody unknown and new? Or should I really forgive my husband and become blind to his future clandestine affairs and trust he has improved now”.

upset cpl

The pain of heartbreak, of loss of faith in her own worth and of loss of trust in her marital relationship is difficult to measure yet it is understandable. She has a lot to deal with in her life,in her marriage ,in her mental and emotional pain. To carry on the hurtful baggage, of her husband’s unfaithfulness, and a broken marriage to heal is definitely a tall order to ask for from any wife. The same is probably true in the case of Savi(name changed) whose husband unabashedly admitted to his affair when Savi had caught him red handed.

It is a very painful decision to make and decide to either sustain a marital storm of infidelity or to end and break a marriage when the hurt has been on account of complete loss of trust.

Is it possible to come back once the trust is broken? Is it possible to heal your family from the mental, emotional and social ordeal caused by infidelity of your partner? Does it make sense to just get out of the current relationship and start over with someone else?

Most victims of infidelity and marital cheating and /or other emotional abuse will prefer to believe that they’ll be safer in a new relationship .They definitely hope they will be happier with someone who doesn’t stray away from marriage or who doesn’t cheat on them or abuse them.

Yes it could be true .Such a wishful thinking is completely understandable . However, Sudha was quickly disappointed when in her case,her new husband proved to be much worse than her first partner.She had been abused by her husband of earlier marriage . It took her good five years to come out of it and get legal divorce .Her new husband who is a divorcee himself continues maintaining relationship with his earlier wife ,despite all objections from Sudha. His statement is ,”I feel responsible for her now that she has been wronged by me”.

In the case of Sudha(name changed) above, it appears that her husband really changed for his first wife where he felt responsible for her after having divorced her.But this certainly causes lots of hurt to Sudha.

I’ve seen husbands transforming themselves and changing their attitude towards marriage and family after getting the “I want a divorce” notice from their wives . This wake up call opens their eyes to the possibility of their losing the existing family. But mere words may not be enough .The couple needs to undergo marriage counseling and family therapy to ensure spouse learns the values of family ,love ,affection and fidelity.Having been awakened to the possibility of divorce and subsequent marital therapy sessions a spouse is less vulnerable to make the same mistake again and lose it all.

According to a survey by researchers at the University of Chicago, about 25 percent of married men and 17 percent of married women in the United States admit having been unfaithful sometimes or the other . Another research findings indicate the probability of cheating by partners in marriage closer to 25 percent of women and 40 to 50 percent of men.The statistics may not be much different in India given the spread of social media in all sections of society and the access to better online communication on these platforms.

I was not sure how Amrit’s husband’s promises will hold till he falls into another affair. What If Amrit gave him another chance,on my advise, what’s the likelihood that he’d make the same mistake that almost caused him to lose his family and daughter? But our persistence and the couple’s regularity and sincerity in attending all sessions of couple’s counseling did help bring about better understanding amongst the partners.Says Amrit,”your sessions have been very helpful.Even I understood where I had to make amends in my relationship and attitude towards our marriage.And as for my husband, he is a completely different man now with complete sense of loyalty love and affection towards me and our daughter “.

Yes I’m aware that this could be a rare case where a husband truly transformed himself and proved to his family that he’s changed.

crossroads cpl

But If partners were to leave her husbands or the other way around,the very concept of marriage may have to be given a new meaning by the society.It has been my belief that a family is a place where a human can be educated,reformed and brought back with right counseling and marital therapy.Not that I would recommend cheating in this sacred relationship but our counseling and family therapy can ensure that this sort of transgressions would never happen to her again.

But as I had mentioned in my one of write-ups earlier, many wives continue suffering abuse in relationship for years and years .When they wake up to seek amends to the marriage and expect their spouses to mend their ways, it becomes too late.

The best advise here could be ,”to keep an eye on your spouse and read the signs of infidelity”,but it is not the intention of this writer to make a family a detective agency.

Yes it’s true an erring spouse has made serious mistake,but it is also true that the warning of a divorce and taking the kids away with you could be a very harsh wake up call for him to mend his waywardness and improve for future. He can become a better spouse better than anyone else not known and coming as a stranger into your and your children’s life.

We will help you with our counseling and family therapy to develop fulfilling and complete relationships between the two of you .

There is a very strong possibility that the erring spouse who had been disrespecting the marital relationship will now become very keen to transform it; into true love based marriage.

divorced

In situation to the contrary here the wife will have a choice. She can let her husband go and she can get out of the marriage. Her husband most likely will marry another woman and treat her like a queen. He will leave you saddled with the kids that you had from him (like it has happened to Divya (name changed) whose husband left her high and dry with a two years old child ,after their divorce.

The question obviously is: how do you heal from your hurt and ordeal? How do you forgive? How do you get to the head-space where you’re able to give your spouse another chance? These are the questions we help you find answer to in our Family Therapy and Marriage counseling sessions .

Come and discuss with us how to proceed.

You take the first step today and find the much needed happiness by calling on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

family therapyFamily will survive all storms with a little patience and perseverance.

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download“Perceptive Meditation enables you live in and with your breath taking your mind away from your anxiety stress and worries of life .It empowers you to live in the moment with complete mindfulness of your soul ,body and mind “. Ramneek Kapoor.

What is Perceptive Meditation and What is Mindfulness ?

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“Perceptive Meditation is the intense involvement of body and mind into deep meditation on the psychic centres being fully aware of the moment and the breathe present in every living moment in its total intensity”

Mindfulness refers to the process of focussing complete attention to the present moment of life and living life in its every moment with complete awareness .This enables acceptance of life’s every moment in its totality and being aware of life in a non judgemental manner .In a way Perceptive Meditation and Mindfulness both work in the same direction for the same purpose.

How do Perceptive Meditation and Mindfulness help when Practiced together
  • Both are practiced with the mind fully present in the here and now
  • Perceptive meditation through the process of Srir Preksha {Perceptive Meditation on various parts of human body each focussed separately } helps the protagonist meditate on the various parts of the body to experience both the negative and the positive without reacting or expressing any likes or the dislikes, love or hatred for any part , making the journey of the mind through the pleasant or the unpleasant thoughts sans reactions and thus developing a feeling of equanimity in all kinds of circumstances. Mindfulness is similar way of experiences of the pleasant and unpleasant being fully aware and feeling unthreatened .
  • Perceptive meditation develops better connect to the self and in the process bringing better acceptance of the internals with the externals, and of the other humans in the world around with complete mindfulness
  • The process of practising deep meditation in total mindfulness of the psychic centres brings about a complete peace of mind, a better physical , mental and emotional health in the individual and empowers with the cosmic energy.
  • The process of kayotsarga ie, the progressive mindful journey on all the body parts and psychic centres to dissociate the psychic centres and body parts consciously from the mind brings about a total; celestial self-awareness
  • The process of Lesya Preksha (mindful perception of the celestial colourful lights )on the psychic centers brings about a total peace of mind, better mental and emotional health and develops acceptance of all kinds of ups and downs in life without extreme reactions , thus empowering the mind for better tolerance and understanding .
  • Mindful perceptive meditation of the psychic centres helps separate the thoughts from the emotions distinguishing imagined from the reality.
  • Mindful perceptions of the psychic centres teaches to the practitioner that everything is temporal and that everything changes; that same way emotions, thoughts and feelings are also short-lived and temporary like the weather.Nothing remains permanent .
  • Perceptive meditation with total mindfulness brings about better balance of mind and emotional stability.
  • Mindful Perceptive Meditation brings about serenity ,calmness and peacefulness.
  • The mindful perceptive meditation makes the practitioner aware of the negative and the positive both and trains to focus the mind on positives .

Perceptive Meditation, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

preksha dhyanMindful Perceptive Meditation on Psychic Centres is a very powerful, evidence-based meditation tool for enhancing emotional ,psychological and mental health.

It has very successfully been used as an effective intervention in a wide range of clinical disorders, including bodily distress disorder,psychosomatic pains, chronic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, OCD, substance abuse, and other neurotic and psychotic disorders bringing relief to the affected .

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