There’s a common misconception that children can easily bounce back from anxiety, often by receiving positive reinforcement, treats like chocolate, gifts, or by distracting them with video games. However, anxiety doesn’t affect children in the same way as it does adults. It can manifest in various forms such as panic attacks, tantrums, sudden bursts of energy, or defiant behavior. Unfortunately, as parents, we sometimes overlook these signs, attributing them to mere misbehavior or peer influence. Yet, children’s reactions are influenced by their immediate circumstances, past experiences, and future expectations.
As psychologists, counselors, and family therapists, we frequently encounter parents and family members of our clients who grapple with anxiety. Interestingly, even in families with good parental coordination, children may also struggle with anxiety.
Some parents choose to conceal their own anxieties and issues from their children, attempting to maintain a façade of normalcy. However, children are perceptive and can pick up on anxiety cues through verbal and nonverbal communication, parental mood swings, or even by witnessing family events. Consequently, children may develop anxiety or panic attacks in response.
In cases where parents argue or undermine each other, the impact on children can be profound. Witnessing parental discord can lead to feelings of fear, abandonment, and emotional distress in children. For them, family represents security and stability, and any disruption to this dynamic can trigger anxiety.
It’s crucial for parents to recognize that children absorb stress and trauma experienced by their parents, even if it’s not overtly expressed. Children may internalize anxieties stemming from family dynamics, leading to feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment. Even seemingly minor issues for adults can significantly impact children, causing deep-seated insecurities and anxieties.
Children often blame themselves for parental conflicts or separations, harboring feelings of guilt and abandonment. They struggle to emotionally connect with the single parent they live with while maintaining a make-believe relationship with the absent parent, further exacerbating their anxiety.
Parental disputes can shatter a child’s sense of security, eroding trust and self-confidence. Despite assumptions that children are resilient and adaptable, prolonged exposure to anxiety-inducing environments can have lasting effects on their mental well-being.
During counseling sessions, we’ve observed various symptoms of anxiety in children:
- Dissociation: Children may mentally disconnect from family stressors, creating imaginary worlds to cope with emotional pain. For instance, Riya, aged 6, began conversing with her doll as a means of escape from her parents’ constant arguments.
- Behavioral Issues: Anxiety may manifest as behavioral problems like hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and inattentiveness, as seen in Monty, aged 9, who exhibits symptoms of ADHD due to parental neglect.
- Depression: Chronic emotional outbursts within the family can lead to mood disorders in children, as observed in Deepa, aged 10, who was diagnosed with depression.
- Gastrointestinal Issues: Anxiety can manifest physically, such as in Meenu, aged 5, who experiences abdominal discomfort and constipation due to parental stress.
- Validation Seeking: Children may lack self-confidence and constantly seek validation from parents or caregivers, as seen in Divya, aged 11, who struggles to express herself confidently.
It’s essential for parents and educators to recognize these symptoms and provide appropriate support. Seeking professional help from psychologists for evaluation and counseling can be beneficial for both children and parents.
By acknowledging that children can be affected by parental anxieties and providing a supportive environment for open communication, parents can help alleviate children’s anxieties and promote emotional well-being. Encouraging children to express their fears and concerns openly and reassuring them of parental support can foster resilience and coping mechanisms to navigate familial stressors.
Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 