A good happy marriage calls for companionship of the mind and the matter . But many a times the companionship of the mind plays larger role as compared to the companionship of the matter. It is always the mind and the soul that will keep your marriage young thriving and throbbing no matter how long and how far have you been staying away from your companion. In this age of career building by both the male and the female partners to the merriment ,distance marriages many times become compulsion rather than a choice.When a partner lives apart or moves away temporarily it is the mind that will keep on reminding you of the physical matter of the companionship and keep the memories of the time spent together alive and make you pine for the next opportunity that will bring you closer to the partner again.
We have often heard couples talking about the waning of the inteterst in marriage and of the fact that the caring of each in the marriage no longer seems to be of so much importance any more. Many couples suffer in silence wondering if the other partner has been seeing someone else or if they no longer attract each other. If such be the case with you too then it is time you learn some of the secrets to keep your marriage thriving and throbbing …..
1. The secret of the communication of the mind and the matter :The mind will respond only when the matter is felt ,touched and is absorbed by the mind as a pleasant and lasting memory. It is important each times the couples meet that they should make it a special occasion to touch and talk .The physical touch charges the sensual cords leading to the charging of the emotional cords by the lovey dovey talks .The couple must talk and interact with each other on matters that are non controversial for them both and the loving gesture of physically touching each other will add to the necessary romantic touch of their desire for each other . Some couples are resistant to the communication of the mind and the matter when they do not want to exhibit their fondness for each other. They believe that the touch will eventually lead to the bigger acts of love making etc and that once they touch they will lose focus on the actual points of discussion. Nothing is far from the truth . The touch will actually bring about the focus on what the other person is saying and will be a way of showing and showering affections for each other .
The couples must make it a habit to talk and touch whenever they hold discussions in their privacy . Partners that speak of distraction in their marriage usually say that they have nothing common to talk about . That they find their other partner too does not speak much about to them. Such aloofness and the act of not opening to each other creates uncalled for fears, leading to anxiety and sense of loneliness in marriage. The couples can have many things to talk about.
- You can talk to each other about each other’s aspirations.
- You can talk to each other about the best things that you like about your partner .
- You can talk to each other about your fears.
- You can share a joke that the neighbors, the office mates or children have shared with you
- You can talk about the interesting piece of writing you just read on the internet.
- You can speak about the interesting recipe that you have learnt and are going to try it out on the next weekend .
The partners must share such things in the morning while sharing bed tea or on the breakfast table before they leave for their works. They can speak to each other in the middle of the day over the phone or over the web chat to keep the memories of the morning touch and talk alive, and throbbing.
That will show the partners that each one cares for the other and yearn for him or her.
while some people feel that they need to open more and talk whereas some partner could be of the opinion and the habit of not talking much . this can make the other partner feel he or she is not getting enough attention from the other. That is the reason that couples need to not only talk more but also need to touch more.
You must reach out and touch your partner in many different ways to feel the romanticism of a young married life .
- Begin the day with a warm kiss or a gentle rub.
- Stroke the partner’s cheek or play with the hair .
- A momentary touch can bring about the positive energy in the relationship and the feeling of gentle touch lingers on through the day .
- When couples touch each others shoulders, or stroke their cheek, the magical moment will get them connected to each other . The relationship will sparkle and bring about a feeling of love and affection overpowering any negativity that the couple might have had .
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Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 