Posts Tagged ‘companionship’

Meena had left her husband’s house a week ago and she didn’t want to go back.The little fight that they had , had been a routine .She felt she had been a little too hard on her husband. She wanted to atone for these bickerings by punishing herself.She wanted to stay away from her home and husband, always believing this would be her punishment .

Ravi always wanted to have some freedom and space in his busy life. He would travel to the hills once every three months. But he felt guilty of cheating on his wife,every time he did that .He did not know how to compensate his wife for this and the guilt always knawed upon his mind. He brought her number of gifts, believing that way he was paying for his neglect of her . Both the situations above indicate that,

We often take it too hard on ourselves and become compassion less for our own mind ,soul and body.We indulge into self denial ,self effacement and /or believe in self punishment .But how would such a step ever become a compensation to the other partner .Every harmful act that you think of doing to yourself either and or think that self punishment could be an act of compensation to the other partner would in fact be a compassionless act for both.

“You need to be more compassionate to yourself first before you think of developing the same for others. When you have learned compassion for yourself, compassion for others is automatic.”

What is Mindful Perceptive Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)?

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) aims to bring about a better mental health and emotional well-being by training and enabling people to develop a compassionate attitude toward themselves and other people in their lives .This helps the person get a better understanding of self and that of others’ intention, motivation and activities.

What does Mindful Perceptive CFT Involve ?

The therapeutic technique of CFT include five A exercises spelt out as Acceptance, Appreciation, Adjustment, Accomodation, Adoption or Adaptation.These extensive exercises, or activities emphasising the mental perception buildup of solid relationship, an individual can enjoy are undertaken during the Therapy on regular basis.

These exercises may include making a list of accepting person or things first at the face values irrespective of the likes or dislikes,Appreciation comes by taking time to savour the moment when something enjoyable is noticed, and other positive rewarding behaviours.Similarly mind then is trained to understand utilise and appreciate the concepts of other four A’s.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation is made use of in CFT is to develop a better sensory perceptive attention to the current moment in a manner that is free from any bias or prejudice. CFT makes use of Compassion-focused imagery exercises, or the use of guided memories to stimulate an appreciation of the environment .The objective of the guided imagery is the production and perception of a relational image that stimulates the calming system of the mind.

This can be achieved by perceptually imaging someone showing kindness and compassion to you and then mentally experience how that feels, with the intention that you learn how to show yourself kindness and compassion.

Disorders treated with Mindful Perceptive CFT

Mindful Perceptive CFT can be helpful to people who find it challenging to understand, feel, or express compassion in their social interaction and relationships .

Mindful Perceptive CFT can help to explore reasons ,events and past experiences that have brought about such a difficulty in developing compassion. Mindful Perceptive CFT explores methods of positive change.

This therapy can also be effective at helping people come out of their distressing thoughts, behaviours, and negative feelings of all kinds . Such MPCFT particularly is helpful when dealing with feelings associated with self condemnation,self effacement and self harm.

CFT can also help with, depression, Anxiety, shame based trauma, eating disorders, anger and self-harm.

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Some more secrets to keep your marriage……………
1. A spouse will often get angry if the other partner expressed doubt on the decision taken by the other partner. We will advise you to go with your partner’s decision and confidence in one of your spouse’s decisions at the first instance. The decision can be subjected to some discussion though at a later stage if need be .

2. Newly married couples often share food from the same plate when they are invited to family and other public functions during the initial days of the marital bliss. But the love tends to wane after a few weeks or may be months. Couples should make efforts to always  share   a dessert with one spoon or a fork so that the sweetness of the dish passes on the moods too.

3. Remember how you used to woo her or him with the favorite tune and the song. Pick up that tune again during romantic moments and sing to her/ him the same “our song” whenever and wherever you can. Do not feel inhibited ever . Call your spouse on his cell phone in the office and sing it to her or him. .

4. How long has it been when you had been to the office/workplace of your partner. Surprise your partner one of these days. Visit your partner at his or her office and get out for a quick bite around the corner coffee shop and don’t forget to give a peck on the cheek or a brushing kiss when you depart.
5. The touch therapy works wonders. Play footsie while watching television or when you sit together post dinner and have itsy bitsy discussions.

6. Bring about some humor in your companionship. The partners sharing and laughing together present a perfect couple picture. Sharing jokes, little idiosyncrasies , and mirth and merry should come into usual habit naturally.

7. When both partners work the office and the job related anxiety aggravates at home. This can be brought down by asking the partner, ” how was your day “… and do not pretend but actually listen and show real concern.

8.The early morning touch acts as the mood elevator. A hug and a kiss given to the spouse upon waking just does that.

9.Caressing and light massage before sleeping will work as the soother to any tensions of the entire day . Just do that to your partner before you kiss the good night to each other..

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