Joseph a twelve years old adolescent didn’t quite understand what was happening to him .Every time he would want to say something to his parents or even to the teacher in the school it would be taken as an upfront defiance .His father would rebuke him and mother would end up in tears resting the blame on Joseph .Joseph had been identified as the trouble maker in school too .

Jatin a 13 years old lad had been singled out by his class teacher for creating trouble for others in class and he had been set up a bench to sit away from others in the class room ,causing so much embarrassment to him.
He would be rebuked each time others would make a noise in the class .The teacher would simply name him out first and would not even make amends when she found it was some other student who led the riot .

Swara’s family didn’t quite understand why she had started shouting back at her parents and teachers of late .They looked at it as her sulking behaviour and brought her to the clinic for counseling.

Apparently all these and many more of such Children and adolescents are singled out by the parents and their teachers as defiant kids and they are brought to us so resolve their behaviours issues and treat them for oppositional and defiant disorder . Such children are often referred to psychologists or even psychiatrists for behaviour correction because of their regular bad behaviours ,emotional adjustment problems – aggressive outbursts ,disrespect of others ,not following the norms set up by schools or families.the other issues often referred to are truancy , skipping exams ,acts or threats of self-harm, suicide attempts , running away from home .None of the parents would understand that the problem is not the outward expressive behaviour but the underlying stresses ,trauma and unhealthy family relationships ,environment or dynamics could be the cause of the unacceptable behaviour and problematic adjustment in society.

Teachers would simply complain to the parents about the non cooperative manners of child and when parents fail to correct the child by way of punishment or admonishment ,they walk into the clinic with only one expectation of “just fix my kid.”
In all such cases it has been observed that come what may the parents will simply look at the Counselor for help and magic cure without realising that the parental active participation and the school teachers pro positive approach will be more helpful along with the therapy sessions at the psychologist’
Just one way efforts by the therapist do not work with adolescents with ADHD /Dissocial behaviour / Adjustment disorder .They regress sooner to the same behaviour as soon as they return to the familiar negative environment The relapse will occur as soon as the affected adolescent returns to the same unhealthy patterns in the family /school environment.

A few changes at Joseph’s school with support from an understanding teacher helped us bring about a very positive result .The same child now has become a favourite student of all teachers . As a result of active participation by Swara’s parents Swara has become more tolerant of her parents expectations and a very healthy environment prevails at the family.
Similarly we found out that a comprehensive holistic treatment with the entire family of other children mentioned above has been very productive and effective way of treating Oppositional Defiance disorder /ADD/ADHD /Dissocial disorder without taking resort to medications.
Our experience at the Family Therapy India and Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation has been to go for the top down approach by involving school teachers and parents to help kids with above problems and bring about a positive changes to the defiance and anxiety of the kids .

























Ashu (name changed) could not do anything in life ever since he had been diagnosed of schizophrenia by the psychiatrist. He had been prescribed psychotic medicines by different psychiatrist doctors wherever his family had taken him to them .Yet nothing helped. His fears and phobias had worsened with time. The voices in his head continued disturbing him. His logical cognitive ability had been completely distorted and for him all the delusions had become the real images and characters.
Similarly Sheena (name changed) continued with the fear and phobia of persecution at the hands of a person who had long moved out of her life five years ago. Sheena had been diagnosed of delusional disorder (a psychotic disorder).Her life had become completely miserable as she would often get lost into her phobia and would not be able to conduct her normal day to day routine life.
Soon a very significant improvement could be noticed in certain negative symptoms, (e.g., negativity about self and family, sense of doom, lack of interest in surroundings and /lack of drive) started yielding to positive thoughts on all these issues .The clients did respond well as we noticed Ashu and Sheena both had begun looking at the positive aspects of their life. Their sense of appreciation for some aspects of their lives could be felt in their daily interaction with us. We could see their interest reviving in their day to day life too exhibiting positive symptoms.
Perceptive meditation is a technique of meditation on the psychic centers of human body by which changes can be brought to the emotions,feelings,perception,attitudes, behaviors, and the total thinking process of the man. Perception on the psychic centres refer to the process of focussing and meditating on these centres of consciousness with complete absorption of mind and body and getting them connected to the endocrine glands situated on the psychic centres . The chemicals secretions this way are rectified by turning the secretion from negative to positives. Such Perceptive Meditation energises the conscious, the subconscious and the unconscious thereby benefiting the body and the mind on three different levels :
PSYCHIC CENTRES

RAMNEEK’S SCIENCE OF LIVING AND PREKSHA MEDITATION CENTRE
RAMNEEK’S SCIENCE OF LIVING AND PREKSHA MEDITATION CENTRE
Veena a company general manager swerved her car swiftly from hitting the road divider on the highway on her way back home from the office, as the driver of another car overtook her without any warning or flashing the indicator. In a reflex action Veena lowered her side window glass and threw expletives on the driver of the other car. She could see a lady driver in the other car too appearing to be in a hurry to reach home after the office . “It could have been the end of my life today”, thought Veena,who was in a hurry to reach home much before her husband made it home.
“Possibly the lady driving other car too has an enraged husband waiting at her home . That’s why the lady appeared to be in a hurry or it is likely that she has a sick child waiting at home”, justified Veena to herself . She found other car drivers behind honking at her , who had been equally disturbed by her abrupt change of direction to the right of the road . She breathed a few more swearing as she eased her car on the road again. Such a scene has become quite common in almost all towns where people appear to be in a mad rush with the surge of anger seething under their breaths. Veena could cool her anger by feeling empathy for lady driver of the other car. But how many of us can actually feel such an empathy for the one who has been the cause of our anger .
Lets us analyse one more situation. Maharishi family has come out for a dinner with another family friend of theirs to a high class restaurant known for its elegant ambiance. As soon as the waiter had placed soup dishes on the table , Mrs Maharishi’s younger child insisted on serving the soup into her dish herself. The young baby could hardly handle the hot dish and found herself spilling the soup all over on the table.
Many a times it would so happen that the anger comes to us in a sequence of various events and by the time we realize what has happened we end up losing control of the situation completely .This anger as we saw in the restaurant begins with one small event later on building up on the subsequent emotional reactions of angry outbursts.We just saw that anger had been building up on the earlier anger and the entire atmosphere had been converted into the inflamed oven of angry moods in the restaurant. The anger that had been just started with a small event got so intense after it found its subsequent hijacking devoid of any reason or logic .When we are engrossed into the angry atmosphere we just lose our sense of being and get carried away. This kind of anger had been built up not by the threat to the physical self but to the perceptive respectability, and disciplined family image of the Maharishi family . Mrs Maharishi felt insulted by the behavior of her child in the presence of her guests hence she had hit the child rather than at that time taking control of the situation and calming down her child.
Manoj and his wife had been having argument for over a week now over some trivial matter. His wife noticed that every time the argument had begun Manoj would simply slip out of the house and return much later after her temper had died down. She followed him in their next bout of angry expletives .Manoj had gone to the temple nearby . He sat amongst the bed of flowers in the green lawns of the temple. She sat next to him as he moved aside to offer her more space. All that was causing trouble in them had been forgotten and they both decided to come to the same place next time an argument would start among them.Manoj told her that he would always allow himself a cooling down period every time he lost his temper , by coming to the calm and serene garden. Such distraction really works wonders on the mind and makes it one with the atmosphere .
Lesson learnt : Move out to the place of your liking when you get angry. The place can be the garden nearby, a place of worship, a coffee shop, a favourite restaurant, a small drive around the corner and reflect calmly on the atmosphere rather than pursuing the train of anger from which you have just execused yourself .
Family Always Comes First