Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘coupletime’

Mindful Perceptive Compassion Focused Therapy -an act of doing good to yourself and to everyone.

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Meena had left her husband’s house a week ago and she didn’t want to go back.The little fight that they had , had been a routine .She felt she had been a little too hard on her husband. She wanted to atone for these bickerings by punishing herself.She wanted to stay away from her home and husband, always believing this would be her punishment .

Ravi always wanted to have some freedom and space in his busy life. He would travel to the hills once every three months. But he felt guilty of cheating on his wife,every time he did that .He did not know how to compensate his wife for this and the guilt always knawed upon his mind. He brought her number of gifts, believing that way he was paying for his neglect of her . Both the situations above indicate that,

We often take it too hard on ourselves and become compassion less for our own mind ,soul and body.We indulge into self denial ,self effacement and /or believe in self punishment .But how would such a step ever become a compensation to the other partner .Every harmful act that you think of doing to yourself either and or think that self punishment could be an act of compensation to the other partner would in fact be a compassionless act for both.

“You need to be more compassionate to yourself first before you think of developing the same for others. When you have learned compassion for yourself, compassion for others is automatic.”

What is Mindful Perceptive Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)?

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) aims to bring about a better mental health and emotional well-being by training and enabling people to develop a compassionate attitude toward themselves and other people in their lives .This helps the person get a better understanding of self and that of others’ intention, motivation and activities.

What does Mindful Perceptive CFT Involve ?

The therapeutic technique of CFT include five A exercises spelt out as Acceptance, Appreciation, Adjustment, Accomodation, Adoption or Adaptation.These extensive exercises, or activities emphasising the mental perception buildup of solid relationship, an individual can enjoy are undertaken during the Therapy on regular basis.

These exercises may include making a list of accepting person or things first at the face values irrespective of the likes or dislikes,Appreciation comes by taking time to savour the moment when something enjoyable is noticed, and other positive rewarding behaviours.Similarly mind then is trained to understand utilise and appreciate the concepts of other four A’s.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation is made use of in CFT is to develop a better sensory perceptive attention to the current moment in a manner that is free from any bias or prejudice. CFT makes use of Compassion-focused imagery exercises, or the use of guided memories to stimulate an appreciation of the environment .The objective of the guided imagery is the production and perception of a relational image that stimulates the calming system of the mind.

This can be achieved by perceptually imaging someone showing kindness and compassion to you and then mentally experience how that feels, with the intention that you learn how to show yourself kindness and compassion.

Disorders treated with Mindful Perceptive CFT

Mindful Perceptive CFT can be helpful to people who find it challenging to understand, feel, or express compassion in their social interaction and relationships .

Mindful Perceptive CFT can help to explore reasons ,events and past experiences that have brought about such a difficulty in developing compassion. Mindful Perceptive CFT explores methods of positive change.

This therapy can also be effective at helping people come out of their distressing thoughts, behaviours, and negative feelings of all kinds . Such MPCFT particularly is helpful when dealing with feelings associated with self condemnation,self effacement and self harm.

CFT can also help with, depression, Anxiety, shame based trauma, eating disorders, anger and self-harm.

Read Full Post »

Is your uncontrolled anger damaging your relationship with your spouse ?

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2020| 3 Comments »

Nothing else can be as fatal for the marital relationship as your anger. An uncontrolled anger is like a slow poison to the strong threads of relations between husband and wife .The uncontrolled anger virtually eats into the very roots of love,trust and respectability of both the partners .

I have observed while counseling estranged or opposing spouses that couples would often express their anger and resentment towards each other and after a while they tend to cool down when educated about their misplacement of their emotions or expectations from each other.

However heavens may help in situations where one of the spouses happen to have an uncontrolable anger . Such expression of constant complaints and anger often leads to physical abuse ,emotional accusations against each other and ultimate separation.

Anger is not so bad if used momentarily and allowed to subside and defused once it has been expressed. The message that the angry person has been upset over certain issues or acts of either spouse can be conveyed and thereafter both would do better to come to the levels of finding ways to negotiate peace and make amends .

There comes a stage when the partners need to involve a professional family therapist who can help them look at their differences or different perceptions in new light to sort out the disputes .Such intervention is arranged with a view to evolve newer and better emotional understanding amongst the couple ,even though the previous hurt still remains at the background. But the seething anger has been overcome as the partners give each other opportunities to grow their new closeness and understanding.

But many a times the harmed partner particularly wife finds it difficult to let go of the past and forgive her husband. Her anger seethes like a wild fire that knows no direction ,hovering over the relationship and destroying everything that comes in its path .Such situation finds no retrieval and the couple sooner or later ends up parting ways through legal separation,or finding it difficult to stay together peacefully.

A partner with such an uncontrolled anger often brings to the fore the mistakes of the other partner,by shaming him or her at every available opportunities,refuses to listen to any explanation by the partner and believes no compromise can be big enough to solve the problems which have arisen in their relationship.

An understanding partner can help coverup many shortcomings ,mistakes and at times blunders of the other partner unless it happens to be a complete erosion of trust and faith.But in the event of such a situation too,the partners need to sit together by letting the anger go and understand how to proceed with their relationship further or even give it a break by inflicting the minimum damage to the family and partners themselves.

It is important that both husband and wife should pay attention to their anger control and if they find that their relationship is getting affected by such frequent bursts of anger. They should consult a counseling psychologist and family therapist .A trained professional counselor and family therapist would help them with relevant anger management therapies including perceptive breathing exercises .

Family therapist during meeting with unhappy, married couple

While there are enough advisors in every social circle to guide and help the estranged or fighting couples but such unprofessional approach unknowingly out of their ignorance can ignite more anger or mistrust towards each other often leading to frequent accusations. As far as possible couples should avoid such agony aunts for their own betterment .Repeated complaints, frequent bickerings and trying to put down the partner or staging a show down for your partner just because you are angry with him or her can on the contrary take the love out of relations,resulting into the damaged partner finding solace elsewhere .No partner in the right mind who values relationship would like to be in such an embarrassing situation .Anytime you feel angry with or at your partner ,give yourself sometime to think over if the confrontation can be through anger or matters can also be discussed without losing control and being firm in your tone and body language.

,If you have such  uncontrolled anger /domestic violence  situation You should come to us at Family Therapy India and we will help you resolve all issues of your marriage in more amicable manner .Find us @ http://www.mansikpramarsh.com

Email us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

Call: 09179383554,917314263087

–Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert .

Read Full Post »