Neena felt desolate ,lonely and she suffered a sense of disorientation as she had been denied the job ,she was so confident of getting .
Rueben had completely given up after he had been passed over for a promotion by his employer company preferring another candidate man much junior to him in experience .
Tamanna felt numb and low after her boy friend Nahar dropped her and he opted for another relationship .
All these people have been denied and had been rejected, to do whatever they had expected or wanted to .Some of such people had worked for and invested themselves for years to reach wherever they wanted to in their careers or relationship.
Many such rejections have been witnessed in recent times where people had to leave their homes and friends abroad on being denied extension of visas or students had to shelve their study plans for similar reasons
Getting rejected breaks the morale .It hurts to the core too . Whether it’s being rejected by a suitor ,denial of a much awaited promotion , or a rejected job interview .Rejection is always not taken by anyone in an acceptable manner .Even though sometimes people are apprehensive of hearing a ‘NO’ they donot want to hear this for the fear of being not approved .
For some people, the fear of hearing ‘no ‘ becomes so strong that it stops them from taking risks or asking for what they want. Rejection reaction and sensitivity can deeply affect your daily life leading to anger irritation financial and social stress and many a times much more than what is stated above .
With so many layoffs ,upheavals and shelving of long term plans ,hopes and confidence of many are getting derailed.
Let’s understand how we can deal rejections and shattering of dreams ,expectations and to make rejections less hurting and more introspecting in an accepting way to help us rebuild strength mental and emotional ,to move forward .It’s easy sounding than actually doing it .That’s where the process of ‘rejection therapy ‘plays a very positive roll in rebuilding and re-emerging a better person .
What is rejection therapy and how does it help ?
We would rather call it a reconfirming self technique where we undertake self acceptance ,self expression , self-improvement process that we can practice on our own when needed .
In this therapy of avoiding situations where we might be told no, we actively anticipate them without causing apprehensions and anxiety.
The dynamic social environment carries lots of grapevine and if we pay attention to these rumours we can expect to be either accepted or ignored and rejected .The anticipated discomfort begins much in advance and we can build resilience to it in smaller steps .
You start with tiny social challenges where you expect to be rejected, and then work towards gradually building up your tolerance to discomfort.
The goal isn’t to reject rejections . The exercise is helpful to build confidence, reduce social anxiety, and not permitting fear control our life. When we realise that rejection doesn’t in reality means so much as we thought it would—and that many people are kinder than you imagined—it becomes easier to take the risks that matter.
But that doesn’t mean you expect only negative results . Being hopeful being positive has its rewards and the realisation brings happiness and acceptance .
But wherever you feared and anticipated rejection the accepting brings a wonderful surprises and self acceptance
Gradually the human brain learns that rejection can be worked out to look for substitutional rewards and that rejection wouldn’t be as damaging as expected
Small steps dealing with anticipated refusals make you more accepting and comforting .you move on in life and develop maturity and patience to bear the brunt of major challenges to deal with .
Each rejection dealt with calmness and maturity builds up our mental emotional forte and equips our brain with newer understanding of the subject and develops resilience and adjustment.
Rejection thus becomes less painful and traumatic as you deliberately control such incidents .
Rejection for you then becomes less self effacing and and more about learning and adjustment. Your brain literally rewires itself to see social situations as opportunities for growth rather than threats to avoid.
However if the thought of anticipated rejection or refusal causes severe anxiety , panic , or intense negative emotions, you should seek professional support from a therapist rather than trying to tackle it. We at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation can help you manage such anxiety ,fear or panic and come out of the sense of rejection and help move on .
A rejection doesn’t define your life in totality . it could be an opportunity to build up your life in a much stronger manner for future and prepare for overcoming the fear of rejection for all times to come .
When you stop letting the possibility of hearing “no” redetermine your worth and work for adding values to your decisions for future worth ,you open yourself up to opportunities, connections, and experiences you might have overlooked so far .
You can contact is @ Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation,if you feel any of the following needs a professional counselling:
When your anxiety fear, or stress worsens and causes distress .
When you are not able to come out of the thought of having been rejected and constantly feel sad and hopeless .
When you experience panic.
When you develop physical symptoms, or traumatic stress to negative thoughts .
When You feel you are getting into avoidant behaviour and often experience being harsh, self-critical and nihilistic.
When you feel overwhelmed and think of self harm or
When you are not able to carry on your day to day functioning.
Please call us or reach out to us @mansikpramarsh .We would love to help you.
Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 