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Posts Tagged ‘mental health’

Questions to Ask Before Pre-Marital Counseling

Posted in The psychology counselling services available, tagged , , , , , on April 29, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Entering into marriage is a significant milestone in any couple’s life. As two individuals commit to sharing their lives together, it’s not uncommon for questions, doubts, and concerns to arise. Recognizing the importance of solidifying their foundation, many couples turn to pre-marital counseling to address these issues. However, before embarking on this journey, it’s essential for couples to understand what questions to ask their psychologist counselor.

1. What should we ask the counselor separately and as a couple?

Individual concerns and dynamics within the relationship are crucial aspects to address. Asking about the structure of counseling sessions and how they balance individual and joint discussions can help clarify expectations.

2. Does every couple need pre-marital counseling?

While it’s not a requirement for every couple, pre-marital counseling can offer invaluable insights and tools for navigating the challenges that may arise in marriage. Discussing whether it’s right for their specific situation is essential for couples to consider.

3. We’ve known each other for so long, why do we need counseling now?

Even couples with a long history may benefit from counseling. It provides an opportunity to explore aspects of the relationship that may not have been previously addressed and to ensure both partners are on the same page regarding their expectations for marriage.

4. Will counseling sessions be private, or will other couples be involved?

Understanding the format of counseling sessions is vital for couples’ comfort levels. Discussing preferences with the counselor can help tailor the experience to suit the couple’s needs.

5. Will our parents be involved in the counseling process?

While parental involvement is not typically a standard part of pre-marital counseling, some couples may choose to involve their parents in discussions about family dynamics or cultural expectations. Clarifying this with the counselor can help set boundaries and expectations.

6. How will counseling help us build a strong marital relationship?

Exploring the specific goals of counseling and the strategies the counselor employs can provide insight into how the process will benefit the couple. From communication skills to conflict resolution techniques, counseling offers practical tools for building a resilient partnership.

7. How many sessions will be necessary?

Understanding the time commitment required for counseling is essential for planning purposes. While the number of sessions can vary depending on the couple’s needs and goals, discussing a rough timeline with the counselor can help manage expectations.

Navigating the complexities of pre-marital counseling requires open communication and a willingness to address difficult questions. By engaging in this process, couples can lay the groundwork for a healthy and fulfilling marriage, equipped with the tools to overcome challenges and grow together.

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Understanding Anxiety in Children

Posted in The psychology counselling services available, tagged , , , , on April 22, 2024| Leave a Comment »

There’s a common misconception that children can easily bounce back from anxiety, often by receiving positive reinforcement, treats like chocolate, gifts, or by distracting them with video games. However, anxiety doesn’t affect children in the same way as it does adults. It can manifest in various forms such as panic attacks, tantrums, sudden bursts of energy, or defiant behavior. Unfortunately, as parents, we sometimes overlook these signs, attributing them to mere misbehavior or peer influence. Yet, children’s reactions are influenced by their immediate circumstances, past experiences, and future expectations.

As psychologists, counselors, and family therapists, we frequently encounter parents and family members of our clients who grapple with anxiety. Interestingly, even in families with good parental coordination, children may also struggle with anxiety.

Some parents choose to conceal their own anxieties and issues from their children, attempting to maintain a façade of normalcy. However, children are perceptive and can pick up on anxiety cues through verbal and nonverbal communication, parental mood swings, or even by witnessing family events. Consequently, children may develop anxiety or panic attacks in response.

In cases where parents argue or undermine each other, the impact on children can be profound. Witnessing parental discord can lead to feelings of fear, abandonment, and emotional distress in children. For them, family represents security and stability, and any disruption to this dynamic can trigger anxiety.

It’s crucial for parents to recognize that children absorb stress and trauma experienced by their parents, even if it’s not overtly expressed. Children may internalize anxieties stemming from family dynamics, leading to feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment. Even seemingly minor issues for adults can significantly impact children, causing deep-seated insecurities and anxieties.

Children often blame themselves for parental conflicts or separations, harboring feelings of guilt and abandonment. They struggle to emotionally connect with the single parent they live with while maintaining a make-believe relationship with the absent parent, further exacerbating their anxiety.

Parental disputes can shatter a child’s sense of security, eroding trust and self-confidence. Despite assumptions that children are resilient and adaptable, prolonged exposure to anxiety-inducing environments can have lasting effects on their mental well-being.

During counseling sessions, we’ve observed various symptoms of anxiety in children:

  1. Dissociation: Children may mentally disconnect from family stressors, creating imaginary worlds to cope with emotional pain. For instance, Riya, aged 6, began conversing with her doll as a means of escape from her parents’ constant arguments.
  2. Behavioral Issues: Anxiety may manifest as behavioral problems like hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and inattentiveness, as seen in Monty, aged 9, who exhibits symptoms of ADHD due to parental neglect.
  3. Depression: Chronic emotional outbursts within the family can lead to mood disorders in children, as observed in Deepa, aged 10, who was diagnosed with depression.
  4. Gastrointestinal Issues: Anxiety can manifest physically, such as in Meenu, aged 5, who experiences abdominal discomfort and constipation due to parental stress.
  5. Validation Seeking: Children may lack self-confidence and constantly seek validation from parents or caregivers, as seen in Divya, aged 11, who struggles to express herself confidently.

It’s essential for parents and educators to recognize these symptoms and provide appropriate support. Seeking professional help from psychologists for evaluation and counseling can be beneficial for both children and parents.

By acknowledging that children can be affected by parental anxieties and providing a supportive environment for open communication, parents can help alleviate children’s anxieties and promote emotional well-being. Encouraging children to express their fears and concerns openly and reassuring them of parental support can foster resilience and coping mechanisms to navigate familial stressors.

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Why Couples Get Stressed and Look at Partners as -“Not So OK Spouse”- Hope It’s Not Happening to Your Family

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on April 12, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Rhea (name changed )had been wondering as to where had she gone wrong in her decision to make her marriage a dream marriage that she had always dreamt about. She had wanted her marriage to be a mean to her happiness and love. She wanted to share a home full of marital bliss with her life partner Sam . Those two had always been looked upon as if they were a kind of made for each other couple during the six month long courtship. It wasn’t long since everyone at their reception ceremony had praised their complementing and completing each other .

Yet something went wrong immediately after they had returned from their honeymoon.She to utter dismay felt that she was not able to cope up with the demands being made on her by the family members of Sam. .She was feeling bad that she had not come upto the expectations of her mother in law. Her husband would often find her guilty of having upset his mother.Her mother in law would insult her ,in the kitchen and would not allow her to cook anything. if she had really been trained to be a housewife only things would have been different.She has been a professional programmer in an I.T. company and her husband who worked alongside her in the same organisation knew it very well.Then why this sudden demand of attending to household work .She would get into the bed room to discuss the post wedding trauma with her husband who often refused to discuss anything about his mother’s stand.

Jatin’s (name changed ) wife had left home to be with her mother for a week, has not returned now for many months as she decided to get out of the marriage because Jatin has not been taking her out to their regular pub joint after marriage as had been promised by him before they got married.

Ruby and Rohit (names changed ) had a long history of having been in love with each other from their childhood days and their courtship continued for more than twenty years before they decided to tie their knot. But after marriage everything turned tipsy turvy when Ruby found out that Rohit had been two timings even when he was into relationship with her .

Some of these young people may appear to be living next to us or people could be within us . But young marriages are not the only ones having jolts and jitters . Couples in their fifties and sixties years of age too have been having tough time in current situations as they either moot separation or move forward to a divorce.

Said Sudhir (name changed) “Our journey towards a blessed relationship of matrimony happened 19 years ago. We have two sons (17 and 12 ) . Recently I saw my wife talking to someone on social media Thereafter it has been a journey full of hardships and everyday fights .My marriage and its subsequent outcome had far-reaching effects on both my emotional and physical heath, as well as my self esteem and personal identity .I have decided to end this tortuous relationship.

Marriage is changing and evolving .it’s meaning in all strata of society ,be it young ,old , middle aged couples ,any income group is not the same any more .

We have had and we continue getting couples from any age group ,financial and milieu as you have read in some of the cases mentioned above .

A life long commitment to matrimonial relationship is a turning into a burden for some of the young couples .And some of the elderly couples feel it has been a difficult journey . They want to bring it to an end .But the decision to separate , from your partner with whom you have been planning to turn your dreams into a reality and walk hand in hand with each other ;to separate marital life to finally making the decision to proceed with a divorce and to coping with the stress and heartache is not so easy either ..

This is where we at Family Therapy India can help couples like above and many others who are facing turmoils into their relationships .

Our Family Therapy ,Relationship and marriage counselling sessions can help you change your life for the better.

You can learn how your personal choices are affecting your life, and that your happiness is up to you. You can’t always change your circumstances, or the situations you face in your life, but you can change how you act or react to those circumstances. It is up to you to decide what your future will look like, and to create your own happily ever after. Our family therapy ,Relationship and marriage counselling can help you find yourself, and let go of the feelings of anger, frustration, betrayal, and despair that are holding you back. It can teach you how to set goals and move toward a positive and successful future within your marriage, You can learn how to make permanent, lasting changes that benefit both of you and of course other members of your family.

Our Emotions Focussed Therapy and Counselling can help you regulate your emotions and learn the process of the best decision making on personal, financial, and practical aspects of your life that will develop better understanding for you and your partner to reaffirm your relationship.

We offer Family therapy , relationship and marriage Counselling sessions for families ,men, women and couples who are living with children, recently married, thinking of separation, getting a divorce, or experiencing relationship difficulties .We strongly believe in helping all those couples who are facing difficulties within their relationship at any age to understand each other’s mental and emotional state . We help them to set their communication better and overcome obstacles that are preventing them from achieving the happiness they deserve.

Get in touch with us today or write to us mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

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Understanding and Supporting Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Posted in The psychology counselling services available, tagged , , , , on April 3, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Parenting a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) comes with unique challenges, particularly concerning their behavior. Many parents seek guidance on understanding and managing the behavior of their children affected by ASD. With appropriate strategies and support, much of the stress and strain associated with these difficulties can be alleviated, benefiting both the family and the child.

Behavioral challenges among children with ASD encompass various aspects, including communication, social interaction, adherence to schedules, and sensory processing. It’s crucial for parents and caregivers to recognize that seemingly inappropriate behaviors are often symptomatic of the underlying difficulties these children face in their daily interactions and communication with others.

Identifying the Root Causes of Behavioral Challenges

The causes of behavioral difficulties in children with ASD typically revolve around several key factors:

  1. Communication difficulties: Children with ASD encounter challenges in both verbal and expressive language, as well as in understanding non-verbal cues. This struggle can lead to frustration for both the child and the communicator, often resulting in behaviors that may appear problematic but stem from communication barriers.
  2. Social interaction challenges: Beyond communication, individuals with ASD often struggle to comprehend social cues and navigate social situations effectively. This difficulty extends to understanding others’ perspectives and adhering to social norms, making social interactions overwhelming and potentially leading to avoidance or feelings of being harassed.
  3. Difficulty with unstructured time: Children with ASD often rely on structured schedules to navigate their day effectively. Situations lacking a clear routine can cause confusion and frustration, leading to behavioral challenges such as acting out or feeling overwhelmed.
  4. Sensory processing issues: Many individuals with ASD experience heightened or diminished sensitivity to sensory stimuli, leading to sensory overload or seeking behaviors. These challenges can manifest in various ways, such as sensitivity to touch, selective eating habits, or discomfort with loud noises.

Moreover, individuals with ASD typically struggle with adapting to change, making transitions and unexpected events particularly challenging. It’s essential for parents to be mindful of environmental or schedule changes that may trigger problem behaviors, including illness, which can exacerbate sensitivities and communication barriers.

Addressing Problem Behaviors

When dealing with problem behaviors in children with ASD, it’s crucial to approach them with understanding and empathy. Rather than reacting to the behavior itself, it’s essential to identify the underlying needs or triggers driving the behavior. Keeping a behavior diary can help parents pinpoint patterns and triggers, enabling them to develop strategies to manage or avoid these situations effectively.

Supportive therapies play a vital role in helping children with ASD cope with frustration and regulate their behavior. These therapies may include exercise, quiet time in a calming environment, and engaging in relaxing activities. Setting realistic treatment goals and allowing for gradual progress is key, as individuals with ASD may struggle with rapid changes or integration of new behaviors.

Effective Strategies for Supporting Children with ASD

To optimize support for children with ASD, parents and caregivers can implement various strategies tailored to their unique needs:

  1. Clear and concise communication: Using simple language and visual supports can aid in overcoming communication barriers and enhancing understanding.
  2. Utilize visual aids: Visual schedules and social stories can help children with ASD anticipate and navigate daily routines and social situations more effectively.
  3. Emotion identification: Helping children recognize and express their emotions through visual aids or physical cues can facilitate emotional understanding and regulation.
  4. Relaxation techniques: Incorporating relaxation activities into the child’s daily routine can help them manage stress and sensory sensitivities more effectively.
  5. Create a soothing environment: Minimizing sensory distractions in the child’s environment, such as loud noises or bright lights, can promote a sense of calm and reduce sensory overload.
  6. Positive reinforcement: Tailoring praise and rewards to suit the child’s preferences and sensitivities can encourage desired behaviors and reinforce positive interactions.

Seeking Professional Support

In cases where a child’s behavior poses a risk to themselves or others, seeking professional help from psychologists or psychiatrists is essential. Professional intervention can provide specialized assessment and guidance tailored to the child’s needs, ensuring comprehensive support and intervention.

For additional support and guidance, parents can reach out to us at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation. With qualified psychologists, our center offers counseling and assistance to families navigating the challenges of raising a child with ASD. Whether through email or phone consultation, seeking support from knowledgeable professionals can empower parents to effectively support their child’s development and well-being. You can reach out to us at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com or +91-9179383554.

In conclusion, understanding and supporting children with ASD require patience, empathy, and a tailored approach to addressing their unique needs and challenges. By employing effective strategies and seeking professional support when needed, parents and caregivers can provide invaluable support to their child’s growth and development, fostering a positive and nurturing environment for their overall well-being.

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Understanding Depression Symptoms and Mental Health Support

Posted in The psychology counselling services available, tagged , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Feeling sad, stressed, or down occasionally is normal, but prolonged periods of low mood may indicate depression. Depression symptoms include persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, changes in appetite or weight, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and physical pain. If these symptoms persist for more than a week or two, it’s essential to seek mental health support.

Depression isn’t a sign of weakness or negativity; it’s a serious mental health issue that requires medical attention. It can affect various aspects of life, including careers, relationships, and daily functioning. If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or behaviors, immediate intervention is crucial.

While the exact cause of depression isn’t fully understood, factors such as altered brain chemistry, trauma, chronic illness, and hormonal changes may contribute to its development. Diagnosing depression typically involves a psychological evaluation to assess symptoms and their severity.

Treatment options for depression include therapy, medication, and social support networks. Preksha meditation, specifically the Perceptive Breathing Technique has shown promise in alleviating severe depression. This non-drug approach can complement traditional treatments and help individuals manage their symptoms effectively.

At our clinic, we offer comprehensive mental health support programs tailored to individuals struggling with depression. Our services include regular cognitive behaviour sessions, perceptive meditation sessions, counseling, and mental exercises aimed at promoting emotional well-being and recovery. If you’re ready to take the first step towards healing, contact us to learn more about our programs and how we can support you on your journey to better mental health.

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EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING TO TREAT MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2024| Leave a Comment »

WHAT IS EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING (EDMR)?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.

Francine Shapiro developed EMDR in 1987, she based EMDR on the notion that emotional distress can be processed when asleep during the rapid eye movement (REM). Phase.

She utilised this natural process in order to successfully treat Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Since then, EMDR has been used to effectively treat a wide range of mental health problems.

Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference.

It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma.

WHAT IS AN EMDR SESSION LIKE?

After a thorough assessment, you will be asked specific questions about a particular disturbing memory.

Eye movements, similar to those during REM sleep, will be recreated simply by asking you to watch the therapist’s finger moving backwards and forwards across your visual field.

Sometimes, a bar of moving lights or headphones is used instead.

The eye movements will last for a short while and then stop.

You will then be asked to report back on the experiences you have had during each of these sets of eye movements.

Experiences during a session may include changes in thoughts, images and feelings.

With repeated sets of eye movements, the memory tends to change in such a way that it loses its painful intensity and simply becomes a neutral memory of an event in the past.

Other associated memories may also heal at the same time.

This linking of related memories can lead to a dramatic and rapid improvement in many aspects of your life.

WHAT CAN EMDR BE USED FOR?

In addition to its use for the treatment of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, EMDR has been successfully used to treat:

  • anxiety and panic attacks
  • depression
  • stress
  • phobias
  • sleep problems
  • complicated grief
  • addictions

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How Do I Know that my Child suffers from poor mental health or a mental disorders and how can I help ?

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , on February 11, 2023| Leave a Comment »

A desperate father wanting the child compete for competitive exam ,a helpless mother not able to help her child understand anything being taught in the class room or at the tutorials ,a frustrated teacher regularly complaining to the parents to displine their child or take him /her away from the class are instances that we come across every day. Instances of tantrums throwing , of anger bursts ,laziness regular fights with siblings , not listening to parents ,indulging into internet browsing ,surfing of unwanted sites,staying away from home till late hours or not listening to parents are often seen as bad behaviour ,bad habits and bad attitude by many parents.It is rather sad that parents do not understand all such things mentioned above could be on account of child’s poor mental health or mental disorders. Resultantly youngsters are not understood correctly and they suffer frustration and uncalled for irritation.A good mental health free from any kind of disease or disorder is what a child must possess . But what if and for those who are not so blessed ,do parents really understand how can they know if there is anything lacking in their child’s mental health and if so how to help their child cope up.

Differentiating Mental health and mental illnesses is very important for any parent ,teacher and all those who are involved in mentoring youngsters. A healthy mental health would mean that we are of sound mind and are capable of deciding what is good or bad for us and behaving well socially economically and emotionally. A mental illness may not necessarily mean that you can not be any of the above .It could mean that in some areas of your life you may be finding it difficult to behave and decide appropriately psychologically . A mental disorder or a psychological distress are two different concepts and parents need to understand how it may apply to their child if he /she exhibits a behaviour inappropriate to the situation.

Thus, it is essential to understand that psychological distress in a given situation does not indicate absence of mental health .A psychological disorder or distress can be short term ,or of a long lasting nature depending on how the person has been affected and hence affecting the child’s overall state of well-being. Mental illnesses, on the other hand, are health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion or behaviour (or a combination of these). Mental illnesses are associated with distress and/or problems functioning in social, professional or family activities.

Mental health is a subjective phenomenon and an individualized experience, different for every person. A state of mental well-being for one individual may not be the same for another individual.  Factors that may induce mental well-being for individuals will also differ. The state of being sound at a mental level can vary within a day and from day to day. There can be an incident that may boost or degrade a person’s mental health on a daily basis.

Thus, mental well-being is a daily affair.

Mental health is often seen to be on a continuum, where the scale starts from mental well-being on one end to emotional problems and concerns in the middle to mental illnesses at the other extreme.

It is often seen that mental health and mental illnesses are not understood correctly. There are a lot of myths that surround mental health and thus lead to the widely seen stigmatised approach. Let’s take a while to debunk the myths and understand the actual facts about mental health:

Myth #1: Mental illnesses are not real illnesses.

Fact: Mental illnesses are not the regular ups and downs of life. Mental illnesses create distress, don’t go away on their own and are real health problems. When someone is physically injured, they see a doctor. Similarly, mental health problems also require seeing a mental health professional- psychologist/counsellor/psychiatrist.

Myth #2: “Mental illnesses will never affect my child or me”

Fact: All of us can be affected by mental illnesses. Researchers estimate that as many as one in four Indians will experience a mental illness at some point in their life. You may not experience a mental illness yourself, but it’s very likely that a family member, friend or co-worker will experience challenges.

Myth #3: Mental illnesses are just an excuse for poor behaviour.

Fact: It’s true that some people who experience mental illnesses may act in ways that are unexpected or seem strange to others. We need to remember that the illness, not the person, is behind this behaviour. People who experience a change in their behaviour due to a mental illness may feel extremely embarrassed or ashamed around others. It is important to understand that people with a mental illness are one of us.

Myth #4: Stress causes mental illnesses.

Fact: No one factor can cause mental illnesses as these are complicated conditions that arise from a combination of genetics, biology, environment, and psycho-social factors. Stress may aggravate the mental or physical state of the problem for an individual but it is never the sole problem of an illness.

Myth #5: People with mental illnesses are violent and dangerous.

Fact: People who experience a mental illness are no more violent than people without a mental illness. It’s also important to note that people who experience mental illnesses are much more likely to be victims of violence than to be violent. Excluding them from society because they are violent is because of a misunderstanding and stigmatic approach to mental health.

Myth #6 : People who experience mental illnesses are weak and they have a character flaw.

Fact:  Stress impacts well-being, but this is true for everyone. Many people who experience mental illnesses learn skills like stress management and problem-solving so that they can remain optimally functional. Taking care of yourself and asking for help when you need it are signs of strength, not weakness. Mental illnesses don’t determine the character of a person. Mental illnesses are like other ailments and can be managed.

Myth #8: People who experience mental illnesses cannot go to work or follow a regular lifestyle.

Fact: Mental illnesses do not certify that someone is no longer capable of working. Most people who experience serious mental illnesses want to work but face systemic barriers to finding and keeping meaningful employment. Medical or therapeutic help can allow them to resume work and a manageable lifestyle.

Myth #9: Children cannot have mental illnesses. Those are adult problems.

Fact: Even children can experience mental illnesses. In fact, many mental illnesses first appear when a person is young. Mental illnesses may look different in children than in adults, but they are a real concern at a younger age as well. Unfortunately, many children don’t receive the help they need. It is important to remember that illnesses can occur and be diagnosed as early as 6-8 months of age.

Being mentally healthy is not about being perfect. Nor is it about being extraordinarily intelligent or successful or rich. Mental health is irrespective of these factors. These factors may influence the mental health of an individual but they are not a cause nor do they determine the state of an individual’s mental health. We all can suffer from mental health problems and we all can attain better mental s health and healthy state of mind if we recognise the deviation in time

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Impact of Covid 19 on Family Peace and Harmony.

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , on July 31, 2020| Leave a Comment »

The foundations of a good harmonious relationship in families have never ever been shaken so much as is being witnessed over last few months during the reign of Covid19 pandemic .I am obviously not referring to the spread of the virus .The spread of discontent,of apprehension and of unknown has been hitting the families much more in addition to of course the threat to the physical health on account of no activity,no source to let out the energy.

There have been widespread incidents of frayed tempers ,stomping of feet,exchange of good words or bad words , accusations and shouting combats amongst the members of families stuck up on account of the lockdowns and now on account of the fear that the devil Covid-19 can strike any one any time as the lockdown is opening up.We are currently into the third stage of opening up of the lockdown.

The curtailment of freedom has come with a bigger loss of business,employment and of course the apprehensions about losing assets bought on EMIs .You gain a respectability in the society you come from when you are gainfully employed and the same society looks down upon you when you end up losing your business ,job or the means of earning .That’s a very ironical situation though it’s true.

It’s not that there have not been instances of spread of disease in or the instances of smaller fights within the family,but the mental scars as given by Covid-19 will take a long long time to heal as the experts in mental health feel.

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Is your uncontrolled anger damaging your relationship with your spouse ?

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2020| 3 Comments »

Nothing else can be as fatal for the marital relationship as your anger. An uncontrolled anger is like a slow poison to the strong threads of relations between husband and wife .The uncontrolled anger virtually eats into the very roots of love,trust and respectability of both the partners .

I have observed while counseling estranged or opposing spouses that couples would often express their anger and resentment towards each other and after a while they tend to cool down when educated about their misplacement of their emotions or expectations from each other.

However heavens may help in situations where one of the spouses happen to have an uncontrolable anger . Such expression of constant complaints and anger often leads to physical abuse ,emotional accusations against each other and ultimate separation.

Anger is not so bad if used momentarily and allowed to subside and defused once it has been expressed. The message that the angry person has been upset over certain issues or acts of either spouse can be conveyed and thereafter both would do better to come to the levels of finding ways to negotiate peace and make amends .

There comes a stage when the partners need to involve a professional family therapist who can help them look at their differences or different perceptions in new light to sort out the disputes .Such intervention is arranged with a view to evolve newer and better emotional understanding amongst the couple ,even though the previous hurt still remains at the background. But the seething anger has been overcome as the partners give each other opportunities to grow their new closeness and understanding.

But many a times the harmed partner particularly wife finds it difficult to let go of the past and forgive her husband. Her anger seethes like a wild fire that knows no direction ,hovering over the relationship and destroying everything that comes in its path .Such situation finds no retrieval and the couple sooner or later ends up parting ways through legal separation,or finding it difficult to stay together peacefully.

A partner with such an uncontrolled anger often brings to the fore the mistakes of the other partner,by shaming him or her at every available opportunities,refuses to listen to any explanation by the partner and believes no compromise can be big enough to solve the problems which have arisen in their relationship.

An understanding partner can help coverup many shortcomings ,mistakes and at times blunders of the other partner unless it happens to be a complete erosion of trust and faith.But in the event of such a situation too,the partners need to sit together by letting the anger go and understand how to proceed with their relationship further or even give it a break by inflicting the minimum damage to the family and partners themselves.

It is important that both husband and wife should pay attention to their anger control and if they find that their relationship is getting affected by such frequent bursts of anger. They should consult a counseling psychologist and family therapist .A trained professional counselor and family therapist would help them with relevant anger management therapies including perceptive breathing exercises .

Family therapist during meeting with unhappy, married couple

While there are enough advisors in every social circle to guide and help the estranged or fighting couples but such unprofessional approach unknowingly out of their ignorance can ignite more anger or mistrust towards each other often leading to frequent accusations. As far as possible couples should avoid such agony aunts for their own betterment .Repeated complaints, frequent bickerings and trying to put down the partner or staging a show down for your partner just because you are angry with him or her can on the contrary take the love out of relations,resulting into the damaged partner finding solace elsewhere .No partner in the right mind who values relationship would like to be in such an embarrassing situation .Anytime you feel angry with or at your partner ,give yourself sometime to think over if the confrontation can be through anger or matters can also be discussed without losing control and being firm in your tone and body language.

,If you have such  uncontrolled anger /domestic violence  situation You should come to us at Family Therapy India and we will help you resolve all issues of your marriage in more amicable manner .Find us @ http://www.mansikpramarsh.com

Email us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

Call: 09179383554,917314263087

–Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert .

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Mindful Perceptive Meditation and Talk Therapy can help Schizophrenia

Posted in daily writings and musings of the psychologist, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 3, 2019| Leave a Comment »

pm2Ashu (name changed) could not do anything in life ever since he had been diagnosed of schizophrenia by the psychiatrist. He had been prescribed psychotic medicines by different psychiatrist doctors wherever his family had taken him to them .Yet nothing helped. His fears and phobias had worsened with time. The voices in his head continued disturbing him. His logical cognitive ability had been completely distorted and for him all the delusions had become the real images and characters.

meditation singleSimilarly Sheena (name changed) continued with the fear and phobia of persecution at the hands of a person who had long moved out of her life five years ago. Sheena had been diagnosed of delusional disorder (a psychotic disorder).Her life had become completely miserable as she would often get lost into her phobia and would not be able to conduct her normal day to day routine life.

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric disorder that disables and distorts the logical thinking and cognition of the individual affected by this chronic brain disorder involving “positive” and “negative” symptoms.

Positive symptoms relate to hallucinations (hearing voices or seeing visions that aren’t real), delusions (fixed false beliefs), and disorganized thinking or speech. People suffering from active positive symptoms often respond to those symptoms in ways that are obvious to others around them (e.g., agitation, disorganization).Ashu, mentioned above had suffered from imaginative voices in his head hearing that someone is out to prosecute him and that he would be sent to prison. While these thoughts were not visible to others but he often complained of hearing voices and attributed the voices to one of the persons he had been dealing with in his family business.

Negative symptoms relate to substantial decline in the affected person’s social interactions, communication, and motivation to conduct day to day affairs. Sheena had displayed negative systems when she had been referred to us for, a “split personality.” behavior, but Schizophrenia has nothing to do with split personality. She had been suffering from delusional disorder, a kind of schizophrenic psychotic disorder.

Ashu and Sheena both exhibited resistance to antipsychotic medications and their family members were definitely at a stage when nothing could help them. Ashu did sometimes show partial improvements only to go back to from where it had all started. We noticed that Sheena’s problem continued to be more chronic and affected all aspects of her life. She did not respond to any psychotic medications being administered by the psychiatrist.

But both Sheena and Ashu found it difficult to establish and maintain relationships within the family and externally. They were unable to carry on their day to day work on account of mood swings and delusions that would take a toll of their logical thinking. Both had virtually cut themselves off socially. Their disordered thought process prevented them to understand that they were not normal in their thinking faculty like other people in their lives. Their family too found it quite an uphill and expensive task   to follow the treatment handed out to them by the doctor every fortnight on account of heavy cost and also due to the patient’s refusal to take the medication.

We decided to make good use of Mindful Perceptive Meditation Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy together to treat both Ashu and Sheena regularly on every alternate day basis in order to maintain regularity and without giving them a chance to revert to their pre conditioned schizophrenic way of thinking and cognition. Initially we found it difficult to communicate with the subjects as they would either not come for counseling or if they had come, they would not pay attention to what was being discussed. Gradually they started to respond to our instructions. We had begun the treatment with “Shwas Preksha ‘(Mindful Perceptive breathing exercise on the psychic centers) conducted under the watchful eye of the expert instructor. Soon we started noticing a significant improvement in both of our clients.

Thereafter we had begun with them the activities of “Mindful Perceptive Meditation” which involves both body and mind into deep meditation on the psychic centers, being fully aware of the moment and the breathe present in every living moment in its total intensity”. This continued along with the regular exercises of Kayotsarga to provide the much needed peaceful perception of the body through mind. Kayotsarga is a process of meditation that dissociates the physical body from the mind and it puts the muscles of the body to   complete rest progressively, somewhat similar to progressive muscle relaxation technique.

Peaceful-Mind-Remedies-South-Croydon-426x426Soon a very significant improvement could be noticed in certain negative symptoms, (e.g., negativity about self and family, sense of doom, lack of interest in surroundings and /lack of drive) started yielding to positive thoughts on all these issues .The clients did respond well as we noticed Ashu and Sheena both had begun looking at the positive aspects of their life. Their sense of appreciation for some aspects of their lives could be felt in their daily interaction with us. We could see their interest reviving in their day to day life too exhibiting positive symptoms.

These results had further been strengthened by the process of Mahaprana  Dhwani {greater inner sound effects  produced by the help of mouth and nose while exhaling  the breath by the patients }reformed  on all psychic centers during the process of deep perceptive breathing exercises and exhalation  undertaken by the patients.

Mindful Perceptive Meditation and CBT has been very effectively used by us in a variety of psychiatric/psychological disorders .We had used Mindful Perceptive Meditation and positive affirmative techniques to enable the affected person correct the functioning of endocrine glands producing negative steroids and emotions and subsequent faulty thought process .The practice of CBT generates critical cognition of actual position of the situation and helps analyze all kinds of thoughts with objectivity and factual back up. The Mindful Perceptive Meditation therapy supports written affirmative statements about the self and situations which would be given as homework exercises and are reviewed later with the clients. The whole process was focused on changing the negative perceptions about self and situations to positive emotions and thoughts.

Generally a patient requires 50 to 60 sessions over a period of three to four months. But in severe cases the sessions (each running for 45 minutes to one hour) can go up to 90 to 120 sessions over a period of 6 to 9 months’ time like it had been extended in these two cases for up to 6 months.

It gives us greater satisfaction and happiness that eventually after a hard work of six months , the patients had been cured of their problems to a large extent and with the help of their family and friends,  the process of rehabilitation  of both of  them into the family and society had been achieved.

We have   been making use of Mindful Perceptive Meditation and Cognitive Behavior Therapy successfully in many other cases of depression, anxiety, stress and many other psychotic disorders and many have been restored to their normal life.

Perceptive Meditation enables you live in and with your breath taking your mind away from your anxiety stress and worries of life .It empowers you to live in the moment with complete mindfulness of your soul ,body and mind “. Ramneek Kapoor.

If you have someone in the family suffering from any such disorder,Come and discuss with us how to proceed.

You take the first step today and  we help you  find the much needed happiness.

Call  on us @9179383554 or write to us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

 

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