The foundations of a good harmonious relationship in families have never ever been shaken so much as is being witnessed over last few months during the reign of Covid19 pandemic .I am obviously not referring to the spread of the virus .The spread of discontent,of apprehension and of unknown has been hitting the families much more in addition to of course the threat to the physical health on account of no activity,no source to let out the energy.
There have been widespread incidents of frayed tempers ,stomping of feet,exchange of good words or bad words , accusations and shouting combats amongst the members of families stuck up on account of the lockdowns and now on account of the fear that the devil Covid-19 can strike any one any time as the lockdown is opening up.We are currently into the third stage of opening up of the lockdown.
The curtailment of freedom has come with a bigger loss of business,employment and of course the apprehensions about losing assets bought on EMIs .You gain a respectability in the society you come from when you are gainfully employed and the same society looks down upon you when you end up losing your business ,job or the means of earning .That’s a very ironical situation though it’s true.
It’s not that there have not been instances of spread of disease in or the instances of smaller fights within the family,but the mental scars as given by Covid-19 will take a long long time to heal as the experts in mental health feel.
Sachin (name changed)a young boy of 12 and a student of grade 7th had been termed a big nuisance by his class teachers.They could hardly control his activities.He would just not sit at one place in the classroom. His indiscipline created problems for his teachers in school . Of late he had started arguing back with his tutors at home .There have been complaints of his misbehaving with other children of his class . His mother, a single parent was at her wits end,not knowing how to proceed about. She was advised by the school to consult a psychologist.
Akshat {name changed} another child was standing outside the school Principal’s office.This was the third time in the current session when his parents have been called to the school by the authorities.Akshat had been sliding down the side railing of the second floor stairs all alone, when he had been intercepted by his class incharge.A joint evaluation by the school teachers,psychologist and psychiatrist diagnosed severe ADHD in the child. Our experience with treating ADHD children in many such cases have proved that mindful perceptive meditation can train and condition the young brain to concentrate better and hold focus even in the event of child suffering from ADHD.Such a holistic intervention and alternative treatment have benefited many and can help your child maintain self regulation, self discipline, and developing a better attention span.
We have observed that many adults and children affected by ADHD find it very challenging to sustain their attention, and they exhibit a very hyper state of mind in situations where they are expected to remain calm and attentive.
Mindful perceptive meditation exercise develops the inner peace of mind,establishes positive relationship with the self and brings about sense of confidence and stability of mind.It helps regulate functioning of the endocrine glands of body and creates good hormones in the body. Since mindful perceptive meditation involves perception of breathing, perception of centres of our psychic hence brings about a sea change in the mindset of the protagonists.It enhances attention span. It trains the mind in the process of self-observation , trains to take care of all kinds of negativity and develop an internal power of positivity, attention, and to develop different faculties of mind and intellect . It makes the subject better aware of his or her emotional state of mind and impulsivity.
HOW DOES YOUR CENTER TEACH THE PRACTICE OF MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION ?
HOW AND WHERE CAN MY CHILD JOIN MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION PROGRAM?
Ashu (name changed) could not do anything in life ever since he had been diagnosed of schizophrenia by the psychiatrist. He had been prescribed psychotic medicines by different psychiatrist doctors wherever his family had taken him to them .Yet nothing helped. His fears and phobias had worsened with time. The voices in his head continued disturbing him. His logical cognitive ability had been completely distorted and for him all the delusions had become the real images and characters.
Similarly Sheena (name changed) continued with the fear and phobia of persecution at the hands of a person who had long moved out of her life five years ago. Sheena had been diagnosed of delusional disorder (a psychotic disorder).Her life had become completely miserable as she would often get lost into her phobia and would not be able to conduct her normal day to day routine life.
Soon a very significant improvement could be noticed in certain negative symptoms, (e.g., negativity about self and family, sense of doom, lack of interest in surroundings and /lack of drive) started yielding to positive thoughts on all these issues .The clients did respond well as we noticed Ashu and Sheena both had begun looking at the positive aspects of their life. Their sense of appreciation for some aspects of their lives could be felt in their daily interaction with us. We could see their interest reviving in their day to day life too exhibiting positive symptoms.
Family will survive all storms with a little patience and perseverance.
Mrs Sharma sounded worried when she handed over the school bag of her daughter to bus attendant, “Please tell the driver not to drive too fast. He fetches small children, They can fall off their seats “. The bus attendant just nodded her head in affirmation. Not satisfied with just a nod, Mrs Sharma moved to the front of the bus .”Please drive slow and take care of our children” she had told the driver. The driver too nodded his head. Mrs Sharma waited for the bus to move. She kick started her scooter . She paused for a moment and then turned her scooter towards the direction in which the bus had been going. She followed the bus at a safe distance and eventually having seen the bus safely getting into the school gate, she turned back . Such melodrama has been going on with Mrs Sharma for over a month now.
Julie is only six years old .She studies in the neighborhood kindergarten school. She had been fine all this while and used to be very eager to go to school every morning .Last week suddenly out of the blue she complained of stomach ache and refused to go to school. Her mother had taken her to the pediatrician who found nothing wrong with the child . The child had been referred to the school counselor. A few sessions with the parents, the child and the class teacher revealed, the child has been always worried about her mother being alone at home and this worry always prevailed upon her mind.
Mrs Narwhal was so much worried of getting affected by the germs or carrying the germs back home that she would hang an extra set of clothes in her toilet in advance , which she wanted to wear the moment she would get back home from her trip outside. Every time she had come back to her house, she would first get into the bath to wash her clothes, bathe herself in order to cleanse herself of all the germs that she thought she might have brought with her from outside. She would feel completely relieved once having done this ritual .But it is obvious, such a ritual can be a great pain to other members of her family as the rule of changing into the fresh clothes after returning from outside and of washing the clothes that had been worn for going outside immediately on return from outside played havoc with the peace of the family . Any kind of advise to Mrs Narwhal to stop worrying created further problems as she would avoid such person who would advise her to not to worry .
Tanisha (name changed) has been married for seven years into her second marriage. Her earlier marriage had not last long enough and before she could realize that she has been married, she was out of the 
It is obvious Tanisha has to bear the brunt of her husband being unemployed . She is mistreated by her mother in law too. Tanisha has been moving forth between her parents house and her in laws like a bouncing ball very frequently. The last time she had been away for over six months ( this being longest period of her leaving her husband ). Yet she comes back every time .Every month it happens either she is told to leave her in laws’ place by her mother in law or her husband or she would leave in a huff after the fight vowing never to come back . Her life goes on in spite of the mental, physical , emotional , economic and social abuse.Neither her parents want her to leave her husband nor is she confident enough to lead her life independently.
Relationship abuse is the most common form of psychological, abuse people indulge into to hold a sway over others or allow others to hold a sway over them. It is a kind of psychological exploitation by the perpetrator . At the same time it is also an unnecessary comfort area the victim gets into refusing to come out of it.
The low self-esteem in women can be the result of having undergone childhood abuse — which can instill fear of the unknown change .Doubts of self empowerment can raise their tolerance for abuse, and neglect . Such women have reported at least one incident of abuse in their early life , whether physical or psychological.Psychological abuse included things like, “touching inappropriately by a friend or a relative”, “ being bullied in their childhood”, ” being called fat or ugly”, ” having been ignored by parents, guardians, or“ being hurled insults by teachers , tutors, classmates or companions “.Most of the abuse the study indicates are psychological.
“It is possible that women with childhood abuse histories are more satisfied in their relationships than women without childhood abuse histories because they have more tolerance for mistreatment based on early life experiences and resulting interpersonal experiences ”, the researcher points out ,“…the more psychological abuse women are exposed to, the more energy and effort they put forth to resolve the conflict, thus leading to increases in perceived investment.”
When we achieve balance of emotions in our day to day life , we get a sense of self mastery and well being. But instead of managing balance of emotions we tend to get swayed by the event. We brood over the event and the person that has stirred the emotional upheaval and bring about the imbalanced attitude of negative emotions.
Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 