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Matters of Mind and Heart -reaching Emotional Stability and Life Balance

August 18, 2016 by Ramneek Kapoor

Matters of Mind and Heart -reaching Emotional Stability and Life Balance

Much has been written by thinkers, philosophers, scientists, sages and preachers on the subject of mind and heart. There has been  endless research on the issue of restless mind and spirit of human beings, yet the peace still eludes many of us. The world still suffers from many diseases of the mind and heart. Words like depression, anxiety, stress and phobic disorder, mental disorder, behavioral disorder are being used like the common place flu and colds happening to ordinary people. The medical world abounds by all kinds of medicines and treatments, offering little respite to those who suffer. People  continue to suffer .Their restless minds and souls are constantly being tormented. Through the columns of these pages we will try to understand how do we establish  better understanding  of these matters of mind and heart to reach emotional stability in our lives and keep our lives balanced.

We humans are connected with the organic world with the most developed brain and thinking powers. In the organic world three kinds of living beings exist i.e., those that have the instinctual survival bereft of any emotions, those that survive only on the basis of their physical strength and display only momentary emotional awareness .Humans have been bestowed with the powers that can generate emotions in our system involuntarily and activate our thinking system whether we like it or not.  We also have a fully developed mental perception, which can take cognizance of the matter and connect it to the events and consequences. We have a fully developed memory. We think, we imagine, we connect and we activate. Much as man would like to become thoughtless at times, sleep without any connection to the real world, the brain continues working either voluntarily but mostly involuntarily.

The involuntary emotional system activates our mind all the time. It forces the mind to imagine, to create and to dream. The dreams motivate us to plan which are executed by us to realize all those that we dreamt of. But in the law of our land where we have the thought, the power to dream and the power to reflect, we do have the situations that cause conflict and pain. For wherever there is a mind, the thought, the power to reflect, the analytical skill, there we have the conflict, the contradiction. No mental activity can ever be without the contradictory and opposite situation. Wherever we have the mind, we have the pain and we have the misery. Man however does not want to suffer. He wants to always be in comfort, in happiness and in the enjoyment of a happy life. This is a natural phenomenon .All living beings look for a life full of comforts. The inanimate only do not know the difference between   the comfort and discomfort. The living beings who do not have a mind suffer only for a short while. Their sense of discomfort is only short lived,  is unexpressed on account of lack of emotions . They do not consign their discomfort to their   memory bank. Nor do they draw upon their memory bank to reflect and compare their current and past discomfort. But man being a thinking organic sensitive emotional mind feels, expresses, analyses ,compares  and consigns  all comforts and discomforts to his   memory bank, thus in a way being always under the load of misery .

Can the mind be free from worries and miseries? 

We are all part of the larger organic world in which we are all living beings like millions of other kinds of living being inhabiting the solar system. Our world in fact as compared to the world of other living beings of the universe is too small. We are very miniscule in numbers, barely a few trillions all over the globe. The other planets must be peopled with many more living beings which the science is continuously researching into. Whether those living beings too have similar emotions, thoughts, mind and heart developed like us, only the research will find out.

But humans of our dear earth are endowed with a developed mental faculty. we all think .Thinking ,reflecting is an activity of the mind. We remember, we consign our thoughts to memory bank. We imagine. We create thoughts. Creation of thoughts and imagination is a mental exercise. We plan larger things for our life by the strength of our imagination .We dream of things that are larger than our life. We aspire for making these dreams come true. we do realize some of these dreams, imagination, and aspirations yet many other remain out of reach  . 

In order to understand the malady that has befallen the modern mind we will have to know the functioning of the mind in the modern age .the modern times are the reflectors of the cerebral psychological problems. Every individual is    involved fully into the mental day to day stresses of life. The involvement of the human mind into the cerebral problems becomes the major detriment to the peace and happiness of the human intellect.  Every human being wants to become free of the mental stress that he is suffering from.  We need to understand as to what mind is, in order to get liberated from the stresses and problems of the mind. Without really looking into the functioning of the mind it is simply irrelevant to solve the problems that exist in our psyche today.

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What Is Schizophrenia?

September 26, 2014 by Ramneek Kapoor

What Is Schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia is a chronic, disabling brain disorder that affects about 1% of Americans. It may cause people to hear voices, see imaginary sights, or believe other people are controlling their thoughts. These sensations can be frightening and often lead to erratic behavior. There is no cure, but treatment can usually control the most serious symptoms.
Schizophrenia Symptoms

Symptoms of schizophrenia may include
• Delusions — wildly false beliefs
• Paranoia — the fear others are plotting against you
• Hallucinations — hearing voices or imagining things that do not exist
Some symptoms, such as lack of enjoyment in everyday life and withdrawal from social activities, may mimic depression.
How Schizophrenia Affects Thoughts

People with schizophrenia often have abnormal ways of thinking. They may have trouble organizing their thoughts or making logical connections. They may feel like the mind is racing from one unrelated thought to another. Sometimes they experience “thought blocking,” a feeling that thoughts are removed from their head. Despite popular belief, schizophrenia is not dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder.
How Schizophrenia Affects Behavior

Schizophrenia causes a wide range of behaviors. People may speak incoherently or even make up words. They may act agitated or appear stone-faced. Many people have trouble maintaining basic hygiene or orderly homes. Schizophrenia can also cause repetitive behaviors, such as pacing. In contrast to common stereotypes, the risk of violence against others is small.
Who Gets Schizophrenia?

Schizophrenia affects men and women at the same rate, and occurs almost equally in all ethnic groups around the world. Symptoms usually begin between ages 16 and 30. The onset tends to be earlier in men than in women. Schizophrenia rarely begins during childhood or after age 45. People with schizophrenia in their family may have a higher risk for the illness.
What Causes Schizophrenia?

The exact cause is not known, but scientists suspect genes and environment both play a role. Inside the brain, levels of the chemical messengers’ dopamine and glutamate may be out of balance. And brain structures may be abnormal, too. For example, brain scans of identical twins show that the fluid-filled “ventricles” can be larger in a twin with schizophrenia, compared with a twin who does not have the illness. Activity levels can also be higher or lower than normal in some areas of the schizophrenic brain.
Diagnosing Schizophrenia

There are no lab tests to detect schizophrenia, so a diagnosis is usually based on history and symptoms. Tests may be ordered to rule out other medical causes of symptoms. In teenagers, a combination of family history and certain behaviors can help predict the onset of schizophrenia. These behaviors include withdrawing from social groups and expressing unusual suspicions.
Medicine for Schizophrenia

Prescription drugs can reduce symptoms such as abnormal thinking, hallucinations, and delusions. It’s thought they work by regulating certain brain chemicals and receptors that influence thinking, perception, and behavior. Some people have troubling side effects, including tremors and weight gain. Schizophrenia drugs can also interact with other medications or supplements. In most cases, long-term medication is essential to managing schizophrenia.

Preksha Meditation

The symptoms associated with schizophrenia can be  reduced and behaviors and thoughts can be brought back to normal  by our regular daily counseling sessions/mental exercises/ preksha meditation and Kayotsarg
Psychosocial Therapies

Counseling can help people cope with their problem behaviors and thoughts, and improve how they relate to others. In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), people learn to test the reality of their thoughts and better manage symptoms. Other forms of therapy aim to improve self-care, communication, and relationship skills. These strategies are are adopted in addition to medication, to help people  manage everyday challenges.
Rehabilitation

Rehabilitation may include job training, money management counseling, and guidance in using public transportation or shopping for groceries. The goal is to help people with schizophrenia stay employed and maintain as much independence as possible. Rehab programs are particularly effective when combined with psychotherapy.
Relapse Prevention

People with schizophrenia sometimes quit their medications because of side effects or a poor understanding of their illness. They may stop attending counselling / preksha meditation sessions  before the actual benefits occur to them. This raises the risk of serious symptoms returning and triggering a full psychotic episode. Regular psycho social therapy can help people stay on medication/CBT/ Preksha Meditation  and avoid a relapse or the need for hospitalization.
Schizophrenia and Relationships
Relationships can be a challenge for people with schizophrenia. Their unusual thoughts and behaviors may alienate friends, co-workers, and family members. Sticking to a treatment plan can reduce social isolation. One form of therapy focuses on forming and nurturing interpersonal relationships. In addition, support groups or family therapy can help loved ones better understand the illness.
Schizophrenia and Substance Abuse

People with schizophrenia are much more likely than the general population to abuse drugs or alcohol. Some drugs, including marijuana and cocaine, can make symptoms worse. Drug abuse can also interfere with treatments for schizophrenia. Patients with a drug problem may benefit from substance abuse programs specifically designed for people with schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia and Pregnancy

Most drugs used to treat schizophrenia have no known risk for increasing the risk of birth defects, but decisions about medication treatment for schizophrenia during pregnancy should be discussed with your doctor.
Tips for Family Members

Schizophrenia can be confused with other mental health disorders so a careful evaluation is key. It can also be difficult to convince someone with schizophrenia to get help. Treatment often begins when a psychotic episode results in a hospital stay. Once the person is stabilized, family members can help prevent a relapse by:
• Encouraging the person to stay on meditation/counselling /medication.
How can we help you: Mansik Pramarsh program for managing schizophrenia disorder is supported to help children and adults to overcome the symptoms associated with schizophrenia by our regular daily counseling sessions/mental exercises/ preksha meditation and Kayotsarg. Hundreds have benefited, it is your /your child’s turn now.  Call 09179383554 or email: mansikpramarsh@gmail.com.

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Bipolar Disorder: What Is It?

September 13, 2014 by Ramneek Kapoor

Bipolar disorder, sometimes called manic depression, is a disorienting condition that causes extreme shifts in mood. Like riding a slow-motion roller coaster, patients may spend weeks feeling like they’re on top of the world before plunging into a relentless depression. The length of each high and low varies greatly from person to person. In any given year, bipolar disorder affects more than 2% of American adults.

Depressive Phase Symptoms: Without treatment, a person with bipolar disorder may experience intense episodes of depression. Symptoms include sadness, anxiety, and loss of energy, hopelessness, and difficulty concentrating. Patients may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable. They may gain or lose weight, sleep too much or too little, and contemplate suicide.

Manic Phase Symptoms: During a manic phase, patients tend to feel euphoric and may believe they can accomplish anything. This can result in inflated self-esteem, agitation, and reduced need for sleep, being more talkative, being easily distracted, and a sense of racing thoughts. Reckless behaviors, including spending sprees, sexual indiscretions, fast driving, and substance abuse, are common. Having three or more of these symptoms nearly having three or more of these symptoms nearly every day for a week may indicate a manic episode.

Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II: People with bipolar I disorder have manic episodes or mixed episodes and often have one or more depressive episodes. People with bipolar II have major depressive episodes with less severe mania; they experience hypomania, a condition that is less intense than mania or lasting less than a week. Patients may seem like the “life of the party” — full of charm and humor. They may feel and function fine, even if family and friends can see the mood swing. However, hypomania can lead to mania or depression.

Mixed Episode: People with mixed episode experience depression and mania at the same time. This leads to unpredictable behavior, such as sadness while doing a favorite activity or feeling very energetic. It’s more common in people who develop bipolar disorder at a young age, particularly during adolescence. But some estimates suggest up to 70% of bipolar patients experience mixed episodes.

Causes of Bipolar Disorder: Doctors aren’t exactly sure what causes bipolar disorder. A leading theory is that brain chemicals fluctuate abnormally. When levels of certain chemicals become too high, the patient develops mania. When levels drop too low, depression may result.

Bipolar Disorder: Who’s at Risk? Bipolar disorder affects males and females equally. In most cases, the onset of symptoms is between 15 and 30 years old. People are at higher risk if a family member has been diagnosed, especially if it’s a first degree relative, but doctors don’t think the disorder kicks in based on genetics alone. A stressful event, drug abuse, or other unknown factor may trigger the cycle of ups and downs.

Bipolar Disorder and Daily Life: Bipolar disorder can disrupt your goals at work and at home. In one survey 88% of patients said the illness took a toll on their careers. The unpredictable mood swings can drive a wedge between patients and their co-workers or loved ones. In particular, the manic phase may scare off friends and family. People with bipolar disorder also have a higher risk of developing anxiety disorder

Bipolar Disorder and Substance Abuse: About 60% of people with bipolar disorder have trouble with drugs or alcohol. Patients may drink or abuse drugs to relieve the uncomfortable symptoms of their mood swings. This is especially common during the reckless manic phase.

Bipolar Disorder and Suicide

People with bipolar disorder are 10 to 20 times more likely to commit suicide than people without the illness. Warning signs include talking about suicide, putting affairs in order, and inviting death with risky behavior. Anyone who appears suicidal should be taken very seriously. Do not hesitate to call us at 09179383554 or the government helplines available free of charge in emergency situations.

Diagnosing Bipolar Disorder: A crucial step in diagnosing bipolar disorder is to rule out other possible causes of extreme mood swings. These may include brain infection or other neurological disorders, substance abuse, thyroid problem, HIV, ADHD, side effects of certain medications, or other psychiatric disorders. There is no lab test for bipolar disorder. A psychiatrist usually makes the diagnosis based on a careful history and evaluation of the patient’s mood and other symptoms.

Medications for Bipolar Disorder: Medications are key in helping people with bipolar disorder live stable, productive lives. Mood stabilizers can smooth out the cycle of ups and downs. Patients may also be prescribed antipsychotic drugs and anticonvulsant drugs. Between acute states of mania or depression, patients typically stay on maintenance medication to avoid a relapse.

Talk Therapy for Bipolar Disorder: Talk therapy can help patients stay on medication and cope with their disorder’s impact on work and family life. Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on changing thoughts and behaviors that accompany mood swings. Interpersonal therapy aims to ease the strain bipolar disorder may place on personal relationships. Social rhythm therapy helps patients develop and maintain daily routines.

Lifestyle Tips for Bipolar Disorder: Establishing firm routines can help manage bipolar disorder. Routines should include sufficient sleep, regular meals, and exercise. Because alcohol and recreational drugs can worsen the symptoms, these should be avoided. Patients should also learn to identify their personal early warning signs of mania and depression. This will allow them to get help before an episode spins out of control.

Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT): Electroconvulsive therapy can help some people with bipolar disorder. ECT uses an electric current to cause a seizure in the brain. It is one of the fastest ways to ease severe symptoms. ECT is usually a last resort when a patient does not improve with medication or psychotherapy.

Educating Friends and Family:Friends and family may not understand bipolar disorder at first. They may become frustrated with the depressive episodes and frightened by the manic states. If patients make the effort to explain the illness and how it affects them, loved ones may become more compassionate. Having a solid support system can help people with bipolar disorder feel less isolated and more motivated to manage their condition.

When Someone Needs Help: Many people with bipolar disorder don’t realize they have a problem or avoid getting help. If you’re concerned about a friend or family member, here are a few tips for broaching the subject. Point out that millions have bipolar disorder, and that it is a treatable illness — not a personality flaw. There is a medical explanation for the extreme mood swings, and effective treatments are available.

Courtesy : http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/ss/slideshow-bipolar-disorder-overview

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Love Yourself

December 21, 2012 by Ramneek Kapoor

                   Love Yourself 

 “Because if you do not love yourself no one else will love you”

“You are the most important person in your life. You must learn to love yourself consciously”

“Who do you think is the most important   person in your life?” this question has got me many interesting    and many blank responses from people of all age groups.   For a Young man it is often the beloved or the young wife.  A young son has often mentioned his parent or Parents as the most important persons in his life. The young girls though do not mention about their lovers very often but will ultimately    admit that   the most important in their life is the lover, the future husband,   the   current date. The parents have often been mentioned the most important persons by the offspring be it the male or the female.

Similarly a young mother will always mention her child/children as the most important person in her life, though the newly married would obviously vouch for her husband being the most important person in her life.  Thus you often value everyone else as the most important except your own self. It is always the “I” that seems to have been lost     in this process of assigning values to all those people that make your family, friends or the social circle. And then you feel  lonely, you feel lost and most  often than not you end up getting depressed and even complaining  of not being paid attention and the much needed love .   Human beings have always wanted to belong. They have been dubbed as the social animals too.   You want to obliterate your own needs, desires, personalities  and the sense of identity in favor of all your loved ones, anticipating a  feeling of  love in return , many a times a gesture of  thanks , a   flash of smile or even a mere acknowledgement that you matter for them. A mother   feeds the child on priority forgetting many a times her own meal and also forgetting that the child can be well fed only if the mother eats. You often keep postponing your own desires, needs, and even the basic   necessities just because  you want to do something important ,buy a  present or  give the cash to meet someone else’s need.

You have been taught from the childhood that the spirit of sacrifice is the supreme sacrifice. Lord Krishna   told Arjuna that an act that does not involve the aspiration for the reward is a supreme act but the lord had nowhere had advised selflessness on the contrary the lord had always maintained that the Atma ( the self is supreme. And you have always ignored this self. Yes the aham (the feeling of I being supreme) could be the negative abrasion on others but the act of unselfish love with one’s own self     can certainly be the priority.   You must always   bear in mind the fact that you have to take care of your own health, your own needs to survive both physically, cerebrally and spiritually   to make yourself capable of taking care of others. You must love your own selves first as the most important person in your lives before you put someone else as your priority,

You must   not always be in a hurry to efface your own self, thinking that this will in turn make him/her happy and he or she will be pleased and will love you for your being so sacrificial. You should remember that everyone loves stronger personality. The strength in your personality will come when you love your own selves first without of course being   selfish.  You must fall in love with yourself; pamper yourself and believe that you are one of the most beautiful   yet important person of this universe.

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GIRL GANG RAPED IN MOVING BUS IN NEW DELHI

December 18, 2012 by Ramneek Kapoor

Girl Gang raped in moving bus in New Delhi

  Hardly would there be a man or a woman in India who would not have expressed anguish  , shock and the anger over the incident that took place in a moving city bus in Delhi yesterday. The goondas, the rapists-and the   woman eating wolves have been on the prowl in the capital of the country. India is  a country that has always been addressed to as the Mathrubhumi or the land of the mother goddess, yet India is also a country where each mother is worried today about her daughter and even about her own self.  Every time a woman or a girl  leaves her home, she is afraid of her safety. She can be subjected to harassment, physical abuse, rape, loot or even  brutal torturous assault by the mad men on the go who have always been   protected by the long winding legal system of the country, the political godfathers, and even the members of the police many a times. The victim is made to suffer many a deaths if she decides to seek legal redress to her insult and injury. And who are these people  subjecting the woman to die many deaths. . They are the men who should not be called the members of the human tribe because the   behavioral traits that they exhibit in violating the sacred privacy and the sanctity of a woman’s pious body  do not display either the human- social   or the animal like  tendencies.    . Even an animal or a bird will seek the female nod before indulging into the act of cohabitation. Such persons  who have raped the poor girl and   have brutally assaulted her and her companion in the bus ,  can simply be called the  demons and they need to be eliminated from the surface of the earth before they  find another hapless Innocent  and become violent again.     We the citizens of the country would make a strong and sincere appeal to the Delhi administration, and the The Supreme court of India  to provide speedy justice to the poor girl and her companion by summarily trying the demons who had perpetrated the heinous crime and ordering their exemplary punishment.

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GET up and get going -13

December 15, 2012 by Ramneek Kapoor

Inertia – the route to killing self

I am tempted to quote verbatim the comments made by one of my blog readers

“Plans are nice to read, but difficult to get done. World is not so smooth place to live-in; external factors are always there to crumble your internal wishes! Particularly in this materialistic world, financial hurdles don’t allow common people (like me) to achieve our dreams. One may say, we have no guts to achieve what we dream. But at the end of the day, when I think of spending sometime in blogging or reading an interesting book a sense of job insecurity creeps into my mind spoiling all other interest” .

Death of human physical being is certain. It has its fixed time, place and the manner. It can come through accident, disease, destruction and even destiny. But many a times we tend to invite an untimely blow of sudden death to our souls and inner selves. That happens when we stop growing instead we start the downward spiral of mental de- growth.  We lose not only interest in every thing around us but we also end up distancing ourselves from our desired for and intended goals in our life. This may happen because we have lost interest in surroundings around us or it may happen since we are tempted to opt for the security of our cushy jobs and the perks attached to it. But the worst situation comes when we do no take any initiative because of the fear of the unknown. A look at the reasons for inactivity and its systems will help here to understand our very own personalities and the   gimmicks we indulge into to accept the death of intellect for future growth.

Our inertia causes downward growth when we:

  • Leave decisions of our life to others
  • Always complain about the lack of time
  • Always complain about lack of resources
  • Always complain about lack of opportunities
  • Get irritated for non achievements
  • Can not find any topic of interest to discuss with friends/ family
  • Simply talk of doing great things
  • Sleep either more or less than necessary
  • Avoid career discussions

The way to self realization is replete with many challenges and rewards. Challenges to understand and synergize our strengths and weakness to either thwart the threats and or also to en-cash and en-value the opportunities. This can come only when we make all efforts to take out some time for our own self development.

I am reminded of the famous words of Dov Frohman when he says “every leader should routinely keep a substantial portion of his or her time—I would say as much as 50 percent—unscheduled. … Only when you have substantial ’slop’ in your schedule—unscheduled time—will you have the space to reflect on what you are doing, learn from experience, and recover from your inevitable mistakes. Leaders without such free time end up tackling issues only when there is an immediate or visible problem”.

We get stuck up in the rut of ordinary routine when we refuse to take out time for ourselves. We must take out time to reflect and think as to which way we can improve our lives, our mental ability, our leadership qualities, our positive yet differentiating strengths to keep us ahead from the others in the race to self realization. Every day at the end of the day we must reflect as to what happened during the course of the day. We must examine in the process whether the experience has been a positive gain or a negative abrasion. Such critical analysis of experiencing will make us imbibe the positive within us for future enjoyments and the negatives will either be left behind or accumulated for   future corrections.

Only a very conscious effort made to learn from our experiences and mistakes can open the path  to the progress and make us effective leaders. Let us begin this today itself  by asking ourselves very basic and simple questions:

  • What was my today intended for?
  • Did I do what I had planned?
  • Did I achieve what was I trying to achieve?
  • What had contributed to this achievement?
  • What could I not achieve and why?
  • Is the non achievement any way affecting my life’s long term plans?
  • In what way is my non achievement affecting others?
  • What can be the long term / short term affects (positive or negative) for me and others?
  • Can I do the same thing differently next time?
  • Can I do any thing to improve upon whatever I did today?
  • Can I make my family, colleagues, co-workers, friends, partners in this route to improvement?

Our introspective reflections will bring forth the positive thoughts amongst others too, whose opinions do count for us and who can be instrumentals/ motivators in helping us get up and get going in a more constructive approach for future accomplishment.

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GET UP AND GET GOING 12

December 13, 2012 by Ramneek Kapoor

You can not impress people by saying “I will do this”. You do this and let them be stunned. Life lived in postponement is no life. It becomes like a cheque of billions of dollars in pocket that can not be en-cashed. The best method of getting the best out of your life is to create. You must dream, desire and create. Let the fantasy become the reality by dreaming, visualizing and attaining. The dreams have always been the harbinger of development of the society. Some one dreamed of flying and we have an aircraft, someone else dreamt of an automobile and we have cars of all kind. Some one else dreamt scaling the Mount Everest and we have the human potential being utilized to it’s fullest.
We must let the dreams become blue prints of our life. The dreams will lead us to our real and desired places in life provided we take care of our dreams and bring them up the way we rear our children and make them better citizens of this wonderful world. Let us decide our route to our desired destination today by adopting the following tough steps for each one of our souls
1. A tougher introspection will help;
• Ask yourself where am I currently
• What do I want to accomplish in near future- distant future
• Do I enjoy what I am doing
• How do I make it enjoyable if I do not
2. Begin today with a solid dream list:
• Write as many dreams as possible
• Let your fancy take the front seat
• Forget about your limitations which are only earthly
• Imagine you have all the power to realize the dream list
3. Search for partners in your dreams realization:
• Let you family become a partner
• Let your coworkers become a partner
• Let your boss/junior become a partner for your dreams
• Share as many dreams as possible
• You never know who might be carrying the torch for you to guide you to the other end of the tunnel
4. Select four major goals for the current year
• Personal goal
• Work/ professional goal
• Relationship objective
• Financial objective
Let us understand if any of your dreams match that objective or lead to that objective- then stay focused.
5. Develop an action plan for each goal so identified by you
• Establish a schedule for each goal
• Anticipate trade offs
• Prioritize trade offs
• Strategize milestones
• Share with important people partners
• Start walking, enjoying breathers on the way
6. Let each goal be the contributor to your life’s growth plan
• What do I want to achieve in my life
• Do these goals meet my value orientation
• What is my own value perception
• What is my value destination
• Will these goals take me there
• How do I get to reach there
7. Taking charge of self

• Each day contains 24 hours only
• Design life growth plan to fit into 24 hours
• Have a healthy mix of fun and work in these 24 hours
• Prioritize fun and work
• Learn to say no to frivolities
• Punctualise yourself to save on time
• Develop a time plan for the day
• Choose and act as the plan directs
• Five practice strategies will help
 Write a diary and carry it along
 Write down new demand coming up
 Accord priority for any thing new coming up
 Set a new deadline for its completion
 Plan the day daily to accommodate deviation

We all need to reach our dream destination and a little planning in life can take us closer to  fulfillment of our desires. let us all get up and get going …..

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GET UP AND GET GOING –11

October 22, 2012 by Ramneek Kapoor

“Kapoor, I’ve got wonderful news to share with you. Puri had been fired early this morning. He had been called to the managing director’s chambers at 9.00 in the morning and handed over the pink slip. I have just been given this good news from my boss about Puri, whose second in command spoke to my boss instantly after Puri had come out of the top office”, shouted Chawla on the phone lines . He sounded very jubilant on the telephone lines. .
Puri was our super sales manager who had been hired a year ago to steer the company safely out of the de-growth vortex that had set in into the system due to poor handling of the team by the earlier manager( who currently has been acting as number two to Puri) ). He’d possibly played this match to put down the new incumbent and regain his lost glory. That he had tried this was the most well known fact all over the company but no one expected it to happen so soon. It was also known to the managing director that the entire team of the company was tied for most of the time in war games of one up- man ship. Even though the company had missed the last two quarters’ targets, he somehow believed that either of the fighting group will have the talent to pull the company up and show some improvement.
The team also believed that they had a far better capability and the talent pool than any other organization in the trade yet…..somewhere they had failed to click.
Such a situation is common to most of the organizations with people getting scared of losing their jobs and losing their sense of balance and team spirit.
How bad can that further become? I wonder. Certainly not life threatening, but definitely many careers will be put on the scaffolds given the current scenario of mistrust prevailing amongst the top positions of the not so enlightened business organizations..
In our pervious write up we had spoken about the distribution of power created by the lightening of the spark. We had spoken about the empowerment of all those that we come in contact with to become catalysts in our realization of the great dreams .We, when looking at such situations however get convinced that it is very difficult for all of us to share the illusory powers that we get to wield due to our being in particular chair or position.
The process of spreading empowerment amongst other fellow beings is not an easy task. The world plagued by the uncertainties of recessionary trends and the scare of losing jobs and earnings for the day, is facing tremendous competition between the peers, the boss and the subordinate, the organization and its executives handling it. We have in all manners left behind the spirit of hand holding. The race is on to outdo each other in pleasing every boss that happens to be one or two levels above and then pull down the same B—– through the back biting, letting down in tasks allotted and with the hope to, catch the next promotion ladder. Office politics has become a dirty arena of ensuring that it is the neighbor perched on the adjoining table, or sitting in the next cabin that must go first. We also tend to believe that his going most probably could save our physical self even though my soul may go to hell.
The process of empowering others involves sensitivity. It involves being more social, more acceptable and more yielding in our approach to each other .However in the race to ensure self gratification, who thinks of a neighbor, a subordinate or a team member.
Individuals have been trained to look for support and dependence right from childhood when they are taught to walk by clutching on to the finger offered as an aid .As grown ups too we obviously welcome such extended fingers and it is seldom that we will bite the finger that helps us stand up on our two feet. It is this gratitude that earns us the social acceptability and in turn extends the spark of empowerment to the dependent.
A selfless share of power with the attitude of making others share their grievances and grief, and fears and apprehensions can earn many a smiles back to us for our own happiness. We can imagine the positivity that spreads around when there is a smile observed on every face sitting in the room, we occupy to dispense our daily tasks.
Physically every man after a certain age can take care of his own needs, but it is cerebrally that he needs external interaction and stimulant to grow. Let us make it our task to give everyone who we come across the same stimulant. This process has our own selfish interest involved into it. Do we also not need the same stimulant from some other source? If so why not get the same back from our own people by developing good healthy human relationships, understanding levels and a sense of camaraderie.In the next write up we will focus on as to what is it that can make us not only good leaders but also good companions and human beings to help each one of us get up and get going.

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Get up and get going -10

October 11, 2012 by Ramneek Kapoor

We have had very encouraging comments on the post of the last week and I must thank each one of you for helping me take the discussions further.

But some of our friends have posed very valid questions too.  Their question reads “it’s true that the spark is needed but some times the ignition just fails to work. One knows it’s needed but one doesn’t know how to ignite the inner fire and this is the situation faced by so many. Self motivation is rare to find; so many extraneous forces make it impossible”

I had asked the transporter friend the same thing, many years ago and will quote his response verbatim for every one’s benefit and didaction. Here is what he had said, “even the vehicle does not know that it has been built with so much of inherent strength. Left on its own it will never ever start; forget covering the milestones in its life time. Its power needs to be revved   up with a positive catalystic interaction with the external forces. While it is true that the engine and ignition system of the vehicle are the internal parts of the vehicle you need the external powerful fuel to add power to the innate muscle”.

Human Life is run on similar doctrine. We have all been empowered with the self-righteous soul and the smart thinking power that can make the massive great seas, sky touching mountains and the vast desserts looked dwarfed in our presence. But all this will happen when this great soul of ours is empowered with a strong and steely willpower. While some may make the positive use of the willpower and achieve the glorious heights, some of us succumb to the weaker momentary negatives and give up to the unhelpful forces of our lives.

The positive impact can come into our life by any mean and at any stage of our life. It can be a solemn oath to prove to your self that you can do any thing. It could also be sometimes to show it back to the people who matter the most in our life or it could even be due to the pessimistic abrasions that you would have had in life due to heartbreaking or shocking experiences. By deciding that we have to demonstrate it in any which way, we have taken the first step of empowering our self. It could though still be a long journey to the wish fulfillment.

But mere empowering of the self may not be enough to win the race to the objective. We need to give power along with to all those mechanism and people too who would become influential and supportive in our reaching the future goals in our life. This is like what my transporter friend had advised, “The spark so generated by the turning of the ignition key creates potential power in the fuel that activates the engine and all its pistons start functioning. The automotive force generated in the engine passes on the activity to the main bearing attached to the shaft driving the wheels and the vehicle picks up speed depending on whether it is a front wheel drive or a rear wheel drive “.

In the similar fashion we need to pass on the energy of empowerment to all our week and strong links in our life to make sure all these contribute to the greater cause of our life which is that of attaining our magnificent heights.   Mahatma Gandhi would not have been a mahatma had the people he met in life, not been empowered by him with the thoughts and preaching of Satya- Agraha and non violence.  Lord Jesus Christ became a leader of men and women because he had empowered all of his followers and faithful by spreading the empowerment of love and the power of forgiving amongst mankind.

We need to understand a simple mathematical equation that, all zeroes written behind the figure of numerical one do not have any numerical values whereas if we start writing these zeroes after   we have written the power of one they all become powerful as the figure of one has now passed on all its powers to the zeroes appearing in front of it”. (Mathematicians pl. excuses me for this layman’s definition). The task is to make all the zeroes of our life make contributors to our getting up and get going .

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Get up and get going -9

October 9, 2012 by Ramneek Kapoor

The secret of success lives within us . It is not outside  us . It is not even with some management guru, motivational speaker or soft skill expert. All the enthusiasm, the inspiration and the stimulation has to be inbuilt and power driven from within to get ahead in life.  I remember the saying that the horse can simply be led to the water; it is the horses’ thirst that will make him drink water (sorry for the pun and changing the famous quote little bit). Similarly humans have to have an unquenchable craving to do well in whatever sphere we are into, in whatever circumstances we find ourselves into, this hunger to act upon and improve must always keep all of us on the edges all the time.

I am reminded of a small debate that took place almost three decades ago in a meeting with one of my not very literate clients.  But it had left an indelible mark on my consciousness. During my job with one of the automotive parts manufacturing companies I used to call upon the transporters for promoting my company’s products. One of the  highly successful transporters, a burly north Indian  gentleman   (who could hardly  read or write his own name) whom  I had gone to meet during my market visit , casually asked me if I knew ‘ what made a vehicle run on the road”.

My first natural quick answer to this kind of query was of course the same that you have thought of. I said enthusiastically, “why fuel of course. I mean diesel or petrol as the case may be”.

“No”, he mockingly replied.

“Then it is the driver that drives the vehicle”, I blurted out again in a hurry.

“You are only partially correct, but still you have not answered my question, while it is true that you need a driver to drive the vehicle it is not the driver who makes the vehicle run on the road”.

“Well if you want me to count the parts of the automobile that are all involved in the transmission then possibly I will have to include the engine and the tyres too.  Of course how foolish I have been that I never thought of tyres. Even when I work for a tyre company. The vehicle definitely runs on tyres. See if you have a flat tyre you cannot run, so obviously you must be referring to tyres only. That is why I am here to discuss one of our new introductions”, I was very happy that the gentleman would possibly be impressed with my intelligence and the good mood that he had displayed  could fetch me some business in return.

“I think we could go on counting all parts of a  vehicle ,still you will not be able to point out the answer that I had been expecting from you. While all the other parts and systems of the vehicle hold equal importance; it is the speck of the small spark that is generated with the turn of an ignition key that makes the vehicle move. When this spark is not created in any system nothing moves. You have to have the small little fire within your heart also to move the convoy of your life smoothly. Just as vehicle’s movement comes to a standstill if there is no spark within the engine, the same way human life too becomes meaningless if a man does not have some kind of spark in his heart, be it to run his  business or to work in a job”.

‘How clearly you have explained to me in simple words, what my literate mind could not even guess. I do agree with you that it is the spark within that makes everything move. The life itself draws its force from the round of pious fire we look at every morning from the east of the skies. We should all have the same fire within us. The speck of fire so caused will keep us constantly energetic powerful and potent, always eager to   put in pour best and keep the cycles of life moving in whatever situation we may be in”.

“In fact tougher the situation brighter should be the spark within us  so that the rough weathers can be beaten with our own internal energy”, said the trucker to me.

The words spoken by the simple trucker  were so powerful that even after the long  gap  of  so many years , these expressions  beckon me to look for some spark within, get up and get going again towards  my  dream and  the  destination.

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