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Posts Tagged ‘EMOTIONAL BALANCE’

Nothing else can be as fatal for the marital relationship as your anger. An uncontrolled anger is like a slow poison to the strong threads of relations between husband and wife .The uncontrolled anger virtually eats into the very roots of love,trust and respectability of both the partners .

I have observed while counseling estranged or opposing spouses that couples would often express their anger and resentment towards each other and after a while they tend to cool down when educated about their misplacement of their emotions or expectations from each other.

However heavens may help in situations where one of the spouses happen to have an uncontrolable anger . Such expression of constant complaints and anger often leads to physical abuse ,emotional accusations against each other and ultimate separation.

Anger is not so bad if used momentarily and allowed to subside and defused once it has been expressed. The message that the angry person has been upset over certain issues or acts of either spouse can be conveyed and thereafter both would do better to come to the levels of finding ways to negotiate peace and make amends .

There comes a stage when the partners need to involve a professional family therapist who can help them look at their differences or different perceptions in new light to sort out the disputes .Such intervention is arranged with a view to evolve newer and better emotional understanding amongst the couple ,even though the previous hurt still remains at the background. But the seething anger has been overcome as the partners give each other opportunities to grow their new closeness and understanding.

But many a times the harmed partner particularly wife finds it difficult to let go of the past and forgive her husband. Her anger seethes like a wild fire that knows no direction ,hovering over the relationship and destroying everything that comes in its path .Such situation finds no retrieval and the couple sooner or later ends up parting ways through legal separation,or finding it difficult to stay together peacefully.

A partner with such an uncontrolled anger often brings to the fore the mistakes of the other partner,by shaming him or her at every available opportunities,refuses to listen to any explanation by the partner and believes no compromise can be big enough to solve the problems which have arisen in their relationship.

An understanding partner can help coverup many shortcomings ,mistakes and at times blunders of the erring partner unless it happens to be a complete erosion of trust and faith.But in the event of such a situation too,the partners need to sit together by letting the anger go and understand how to proceed with their relationship further or even give it a break by inflicting the minimum damage to the family and partners themselves.

It is important that both husband and wife should pay attention to their anger control and if they find that their relationship is getting affected by such frequent bursts of anger. They should consult a counseling psychologist and family therapist .A trained professional counselor and family therapist would help them with relevant anger management therapies including perceptive breathing exercises .

Family therapist during meeting with unhappy, married couple

While there are enough advisors in every social circle to guide and help the estranged or fighting couples but such unprofessional approach unknowingly out of their ignorance can ignite more anger or mistrust towards each other often leading to frequent accusations. As far as possible couples should avoid such agony aunts for their own betterment .Repeated complaints, frequent bickerings and trying to put down the partner or staging a show down for your partner just because you are angry with him or her can on the contrary take the love out of relations,resulting into the damaged partner finding solace elsewhere .No partner in the right mind who values relationship would like to be in such an embarrassing situation .Anytime you feel angry with or at your partner ,give yourself sometime to think over if the confrontation can be through anger or matters can also be discussed without losing control and being firm in your tone and body language.

,If you have such  uncontrolled anger /domestic violence  situation You should come to us at Family Therapy India and we will help you resolve all issues of your marriage in more amicable manner .Find us @ http://www.mansikpramarsh.com

Email us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

Call: 09179383554,917314263087

Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert .

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In this video, we talk about the importance of achieving emotional balance. Write to us at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

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emotional intelligenceWhen we achieve balance of emotions in our day to day life , we get a sense of self  mastery and well being. But instead of managing balance of emotions we tend to get swayed by  the event. We brood over the event and the person that has stirred the emotional upheaval and bring about the imbalanced attitude of negative emotions.

Emotional balance on the other hand would mean giving ourselves the necessary   preference, importance, care , nurturing and intelligence to conduct our life in such a way that it should offset the negative tilt and bring about the positive uplift within our mind and heart .We are designed to live in a healthy combination of emotional balance and wisdom. But we get carried away as we mentioned above.

Emotional balance would not mean controlling emotions . We can not mute our emotion by the use of any remote device , nor can we make them very loud. Life in both cases will become very bland and uninteresting . What if we keep on saying all the time that, ” I am very sad today”, or we just brood over the event and present a sad face. Similarly living in one emotion always is not desirable. Can we always be happy, buoyant and celebratory all the times ? if not then why should we remain sad, anxious , melancholic and stressed all the times. Such downs and ups of the moods and emotions add spice and entertainment to our life.The Downs present us with the challenges and Up would always make us happy. But the Ups too present to us the challenge  for not going overboard.

We do not need to avoid the unpleasant feelings, relations, events or places . On the contrary feel empowered to balance the negative with the positive of life, by looking at and perceiving all aspects of life.  Most of the times we get overpowered by the negative emotion and get stuck with that. Such negatives take over our life in the morning itself and we continue with it through most of the day.

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Balancing emotions must remain a consistent , constant, factor of our life. We must keep balancing with different moods in the day. All free time available should be utilized for balancing. Think  of the good times that you have had, the good things of life , the good events that you had participated in , to offbeat the bad happenings. Learn to soothe your mood by treating your self nicely, differently and importantly .Give importance to yourself .Have a say in how long you will stay in bad mood. Thereafter shift your focus , hit upon the new entertainment, the new treatment of self. The intensity of the bad emotion and the bad mood will come down.

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Chronic pain, chronic bad mood , chronic losing yourself into  bad emotions should be broken by intermittent good mood. Bad mood can be balanced by small wins of good mood . Before we get into clinical or manic depression , balancing emotions with small good treats, small wins will prevent the coming of the anxiety, stress, fear, and subsequent depression.

Ramneek kapoor,Clinical Psychologist and family Therapist,Science of living ,Preksha Meditation expert.\

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