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Posts Tagged ‘EMOTIONAL BALANCE’

We reproduce below the interview of our Ramneek Kapoor Psychologist and Family Therapist once again for the benefit of our readers and clients.

1 .What is ‘stress’

“I would refer to stress as “the mental, psychological, intellectual, emotional and physical unease to the personal situation and the expectation rose either by the self or by others to face/handle the situation “.

  1. Are all kinds of stress bad? How do we identify between good and bad stress?

“All kinds of stress is not bad, only the distress caused is bad. Eustress is a good stress that gives a high and stimulates the adrenaline. When you feel good about certain situation and event and feel you are able to handle it, you look forward to such a situational stress which results into a moral boost and good emotional physical feeling”.

  1. Do you think people are aware what stress does to their mind, body and soul? Do you think that once they realise how negative stress has adverse effects on them, they will be in a better position to manage it?

“Only a limited few numbers of people could be aware of the negative effects of the stress on their physical, mental, social, spiritual and emotional well being. Mere realisation that the stress is bad will not be enough. We need to also educate and inculcate in them the stress relieving self empowering meditation exercise routine on day to day basis. Preksha Meditation (perceptive meditation on the psychic centres) under the guidance of trained teacher will go a long way in relieving stress.

  1. In the world we are living in today, how important is it to spread awareness about stress? Are there any statistics that reveal how serious the problem of stress is one’s life?

“The very fact that more than 50 percent people suffer from the depression, anxiety and stress sometimes or the other in their life with no trained professional help to cope with this reflects the pitiable position of the awareness amongst common people. In fact no official statistics from any governmental source are available on the subject nor has any NGO worked on the subject authentically”.

  1. How do you think our previous generations managed stress better than today? Even with the state of the art technology and advance in medical sciences, why have we as humans not been able to cope/ deal with stress?

“It is a fashion to always refer to the better life of the previous generation. The fact is that the technological advancement has also brought with it the person related emotional, psychological and physical maladies in addition to making life easier. The state of art tech development has brought about personal isolation, in the midst of many. The person today is cut off and alienated from the self. He or she is always lost into an uncalled for competition with the others on the social media and into the realms of the imaginary virtual world.

  1. Do you think people today are ignorant about stress? Ignorance is bliss, but is this kind of bliss worth it?

“No they are not ignorant. They prefer living in the comfort of uncomfortable stress. The rat race takes its toll and the victims enjoy the bites of killing stress and anxiety and many other mental ailments. Eventually the person ends up with either cardiac problems or the chronic depression and anxiety will take toll on such persons “.

  1. Are there some observable and prominent symptoms a stressed individual will experience? Such as physical, mental, emotional, physiological etc.?

“Yes ;the breathing discomfort , sleeplessness , insomnia, loss of memory, eating disorder either binge eating or not getting hungry, social anxiety, irritation , unmanaged anger, repeated headache, psychosomatic pains , and weight gain/ weight loss are some of the prominent observable symptoms”.

  1. Who are the most stressed people according to you? What could be the causes for them being the most stressed?

“Adolescents, working women, housewives, company executives and even professionals with deadlines of times to meet are always under stress. But the large share of the stress cake goes to adolescents in the modern times. With the race to always look outwards and keep pace with the demands of peer aping the adolescents find it difficult to cope with the stress. This generation is neither amongst the younger generation nor are they amongst the adults. The social media, the rigid demands on their performances in academics and career aspirations’ of the parents for them, are some of the major reasons for this generation being most stressed

  1. What according to you triggers ‘stress? Do you think by being aware of the triggers we can be in a better position to manage stress?

Triggers of stress can be any event or situation that threatens the mental and physical equilibrium (homeostasis) of the body . The events can be either external or internal

. External can be the political, social, economic, competitive, family, academic, or work atmosphere. While internal triggers will relates to irresponsible behaviour, uncalled for self expectations, negative attitude towards life in general, and looking for perfectionism in self or others.

  1. What can be some of the long-term effects of stress? How does stress affect a person physically, mentally and emotionally?

The long term effects of chronic stress can be

  • Chronic sadness and depression. (2.) Chronic mental and physical fatigue. (3.) Chronic stress related illness (consistent headache, stomach ache, bowel problems, social anxiety) and other psycho somatic physical illness. (4) Isolating self, withdrawal, self destructive nihilistic thoughts .

Physical problems of the stress can be , sleep disorders, back, shoulder or neck pain, migraines , headaches, acidity, upset bowels, constipation, weight gain or loss, hair loss, loss of libido.

Emotionally the person can become nervous, edgy, depressed, moody, phobic, and not be able to focus and eventually suffering from Nervous breakdown.

  1. Please mention 5 useful tips for fighting/ managing stress? How can one follow these in his/her daily schedule and busy day?
    1. Accept life as it comes.
    2. Accept your self.
    3. Identify “ME” and try to become “ME” rather than becoming him, her ,they or she.
    4. Accept that perfectionism is a myth and utopia.
    5. Follow a healthy diet plan, an exercise and meditation routine to keep your heart health and positive.
  1. According to you, how can one prevent stress in everyday life? How do we know that the levels of stress have crossed the healthy limits? Until when can a person manage it on his/ her own?

“Stress is a natural occurrence but taking on too much can be avoided . Relax whenever you feel mentally, physically or emotionally exhausted before your stresses break you down”.

  1. Stress does not tend to only affect one person; its effects tend to spill over to the people around them. How do you think that we as a friend/ family member help a person dealing with stress?

“Stress is a personal problem but its manifestation can be felt and definitely seen in the family, friends and other areas of one’s life. The friends and family too should know that the life has to be lived in positive moments and as such the negativity should be eliminated from the life completely.

  1. What message would you like to give to our readers this Stress Awareness Month?

“Live life in positive emotions, the negatives are not meant for the living “.

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Nothing else can be as fatal for the marital relationship as your anger. An uncontrolled anger is like a slow poison to the strong threads of relations between husband and wife .The uncontrolled anger virtually eats into the very roots of love,trust and respectability of both the partners .

I have observed while counseling estranged or opposing spouses that couples would often express their anger and resentment towards each other and after a while they tend to cool down when educated about their misplacement of their emotions or expectations from each other.

However heavens may help in situations where one of the spouses happen to have an uncontrolable anger . Such expression of constant complaints and anger often leads to physical abuse ,emotional accusations against each other and ultimate separation.

Anger is not so bad if used momentarily and allowed to subside and defused once it has been expressed. The message that the angry person has been upset over certain issues or acts of either spouse can be conveyed and thereafter both would do better to come to the levels of finding ways to negotiate peace and make amends .

There comes a stage when the partners need to involve a professional family therapist who can help them look at their differences or different perceptions in new light to sort out the disputes .Such intervention is arranged with a view to evolve newer and better emotional understanding amongst the couple ,even though the previous hurt still remains at the background. But the seething anger has been overcome as the partners give each other opportunities to grow their new closeness and understanding.

But many a times the harmed partner particularly wife finds it difficult to let go of the past and forgive her husband. Her anger seethes like a wild fire that knows no direction ,hovering over the relationship and destroying everything that comes in its path .Such situation finds no retrieval and the couple sooner or later ends up parting ways through legal separation,or finding it difficult to stay together peacefully.

A partner with such an uncontrolled anger often brings to the fore the mistakes of the other partner,by shaming him or her at every available opportunities,refuses to listen to any explanation by the partner and believes no compromise can be big enough to solve the problems which have arisen in their relationship.

An understanding partner can help coverup many shortcomings ,mistakes and at times blunders of the other partner unless it happens to be a complete erosion of trust and faith.But in the event of such a situation too,the partners need to sit together by letting the anger go and understand how to proceed with their relationship further or even give it a break by inflicting the minimum damage to the family and partners themselves.

It is important that both husband and wife should pay attention to their anger control and if they find that their relationship is getting affected by such frequent bursts of anger. They should consult a counseling psychologist and family therapist .A trained professional counselor and family therapist would help them with relevant anger management therapies including perceptive breathing exercises .

Family therapist during meeting with unhappy, married couple

While there are enough advisors in every social circle to guide and help the estranged or fighting couples but such unprofessional approach unknowingly out of their ignorance can ignite more anger or mistrust towards each other often leading to frequent accusations. As far as possible couples should avoid such agony aunts for their own betterment .Repeated complaints, frequent bickerings and trying to put down the partner or staging a show down for your partner just because you are angry with him or her can on the contrary take the love out of relations,resulting into the damaged partner finding solace elsewhere .No partner in the right mind who values relationship would like to be in such an embarrassing situation .Anytime you feel angry with or at your partner ,give yourself sometime to think over if the confrontation can be through anger or matters can also be discussed without losing control and being firm in your tone and body language.

,If you have such  uncontrolled anger /domestic violence  situation You should come to us at Family Therapy India and we will help you resolve all issues of your marriage in more amicable manner .Find us @ http://www.mansikpramarsh.com

Email us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

Call: 09179383554,917314263087

Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert .

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In this video, we talk about the importance of achieving emotional balance. Write to us at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com

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emotional intelligenceWhen we achieve balance of emotions in our day to day life , we get a sense of self  mastery and well being. But instead of managing balance of emotions we tend to get swayed by  the event. We brood over the event and the person that has stirred the emotional upheaval and bring about the imbalanced attitude of negative emotions.

Emotional balance on the other hand would mean giving ourselves the necessary   preference, importance, care , nurturing and intelligence to conduct our life in such a way that it should offset the negative tilt and bring about the positive uplift within our mind and heart .We are designed to live in a healthy combination of emotional balance and wisdom. But we get carried away as we mentioned above.

Emotional balance would not mean controlling emotions . We can not mute our emotion by the use of any remote device , nor can we make them very loud. Life in both cases will become very bland and uninteresting . What if we keep on saying all the time that, ” I am very sad today”, or we just brood over the event and present a sad face. Similarly living in one emotion always is not desirable. Can we always be happy, buoyant and celebratory all the times ? if not then why should we remain sad, anxious , melancholic and stressed all the times. Such downs and ups of the moods and emotions add spice and entertainment to our life.The Downs present us with the challenges and Up would always make us happy. But the Ups too present to us the challenge  for not going overboard.

We do not need to avoid the unpleasant feelings, relations, events or places . On the contrary feel empowered to balance the negative with the positive of life, by looking at and perceiving all aspects of life.  Most of the times we get overpowered by the negative emotion and get stuck with that. Such negatives take over our life in the morning itself and we continue with it through most of the day.

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Balancing emotions must remain a consistent , constant, factor of our life. We must keep balancing with different moods in the day. All free time available should be utilized for balancing. Think  of the good times that you have had, the good things of life , the good events that you had participated in , to offbeat the bad happenings. Learn to soothe your mood by treating your self nicely, differently and importantly .Give importance to yourself .Have a say in how long you will stay in bad mood. Thereafter shift your focus , hit upon the new entertainment, the new treatment of self. The intensity of the bad emotion and the bad mood will come down.

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Chronic pain, chronic bad mood , chronic losing yourself into  bad emotions should be broken by intermittent good mood. Bad mood can be balanced by small wins of good mood . Before we get into clinical or manic depression , balancing emotions with small good treats, small wins will prevent the coming of the anxiety, stress, fear, and subsequent depression.

Ramneek kapoor,Clinical Psychologist and family Therapist,Science of living ,Preksha Meditation expert.\

family therapywsi-imageoptim-family

 

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