Sudhir (name changed ) has been managing his large company for years together and didn’t believe it could happen to him when he was told by this psychologist ,” you have been suffering from high functioning depression”. “ But how is this possible ,I have been managing all my affairs well and attending to all my routine .However the family could notice him being bored quite quickly and Sudhir has of late been getting tired often ,showing signs of irritation and impatience .
Often it is believed that a high functioning individual can never be depressed or even tired because he seems to always be active ,agile and his metabolism could be working at its best .But that may not be the case always .
High-functioning people always seem to be on the drive manning not only their work but also of others work too. High functioning depression is a term used to describe people who experience symptoms of depression while largely maintaining their daily responsibilities and outward appearance. Such high functioning individuals often are able to maintain high flying careers, professional relationships, and social lives, making it difficult even for themselves to recognize their own depressed state of mind .It could generally be taken as tiredness and distraction and they shrug it away ,when told that they could have a depression.
Is high -functioning depression a mental illness or an emotional disorder ?
The term high-functioning depression has not been officially recognised anywhere till now neither in ICD 10 or even in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). It is thus obviously not diagnosed by your psychiatrist or a psychologist.
It’s possible for a person to meet the diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder (MDD) or persistent depressive disorder (PDD) while hiding many of the signs and symptoms by their being busy active and over the situation.When this is the case, they may be informally described as having high-functioning depression.
Persistent Depressive disorder is a recognised mental health condition characterized by long-term, chronic bouts of depression.
High-functioning depression and PDD share similarities, but they’re not the same. The term “high-functioning depression” describes someone who mostly keeps up appearances ,despite depressive symptoms.
If you think you or a loved one may be experiencing any form of depression and feel that because of your high functioning you are not able to decide what it is , it’s important to seek professional help. A professional psychologist or a psychiatrist can provide a proper diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment options.
Symptoms of high functioning depression
Because it’s not an official diagnosis, high-functioning depression doesn’t have distinct symptoms. Warning signs of high-functioning depression, and of depressive disorders generally, can include:
Persistent feelings of aloofness ,sadness or emptiness
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions with clarity
Periodic low self esteem and self-doubts
Persistent fatigue or regular low energy
Erratic or altered sleep patterns (not able to sleep or oversleeping)
Change in eating habits .Appetite changes (increased or decreased)
Irritation or restlessness
Loss of interest in normally previous enjoyed activities
Feelings of giving up ,hopelessness or pessimism
Physical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues
Thoughts of self harm ,death or suicide .
The situation can be different for different people.Depression can look different for everyone, and you don’t need to hit a bout of actual sickness or depression. Now is the good time for you to seek help.
People with high-functioning depression may try to hide their symptoms from others, often out of fear of being judged or a feeling of embarrassment.Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness. Even if coping with high-functioning depression seems possible on your own, you don’t need to manage without help. Treatment can help alleviate symptoms, improve quality of life, and prevent the condition from worsening over time.A person attempting to hide symptoms of depression may aggravate the problem hence let’s not delay further but talk now .
When Rashi had her first panic attack she was appearing for school board exams .She didn’t know she was having one till her throat felt dry ,her hands started trembling and all of a sudden she felt she was going to faint .That made her cry out loud for help .She wanted to immediately get out of the examination hall.
However a timely intervention by the people around helped her recover faster as she was given the first aid support in time.
Panic attacks do not come with a warning and they become too scary to those who suffer one all of sudden and if a timely help is not available the same can turn a little damaging too .
Rashi did have some stress of her ensuing examination but she had also been suffering from fever for a few days and had not yet fully recovered . She had been feeling weak, a bit tired and sleepy . In this kind of stressful situation she had suddenly developed an anxiety and lost control of mind .Her breathing seemed to have become very shallow,rapid and she had hyperventilated .
The feeling passed after little first aid support and within a few minutes she felt better although still dazed .No one knew that she had experienced her first panic attack that day, until it happened again when she was in a crowded shopping mall .
How to know if it is a panic attack
It can happen to anyone and can take place in any situation.We discuss hereunder the early signs and symptoms indicating about panic attack :
Usually it begins with a dizziness of the head and the person feels a little disoriented to the environment around .The other symptoms not necessary all of them together can be :
Mild pounding of heart in the middle of chest and feeling of fast heart beats
Shortness of breathing and feeling of suffocation
Breathless and major discomfort breathing even though the environment is not claustrophobic
Feeling a sense of numbness in the arms or legs or both
Chest pain
Hot flashes or cold sweat
Nausea
Trembling and shaking of body parts
Anxiety attack vs. panic attack
An anxiety doesn’t come all of a sudden but it builds up over time ruminating or apprehending some of the anticipated events and it remains there even when the event may not take place .Thus anxiety is triggering of the apprehension but it stays as a constant feeling disrupting the normal functioning .
A panic attack on the other hand has more debilitating effect , comes out all of a sudden and much more intense episode of fear ,anxiety and a feeling of oncoming loss of consciousness and breathing difficulty takes over .
Anxiety and panic attacks even though have similar symptoms, but panic can make one feel like one is losing control of one’s awareness,orientation .The person feels that brain and body are not coordinating . This can happen repeatedly leaving one helpless and worrying of being vulnerable all the time .Resultantly one may stop stepping out of home alone .
Some of the ways to calm down during a panic attack
Rashi was lucky when her first panic attack lasted only a few minutes and went away after help from the people around but the second time she wasn’t because it occurred in a shopping mall and help took a little longer .
Panic attacks tend to peak within a few minutes and go away also sooner but for some occasions these attacks can last longer and the person becomes restless with fear of something happening to him or her and gets panicky .
How do we control when a panic attack seems to be occurring or seems imminent:
Perceptive and Meditative Breathing;
Deep breathing has often been recommended as the compulsory activity to do when stressed .
In anxiety and panic perceptive breathing can really do magic on your mood.Lets understand how :
Close your eyes softly
Keep your body and spine supple and stress free
Now focus on the lower end (tail end ) of your spine and breathe from the nose very slowly .The mind must be completely involved in the breathing .
Inhale slowly from the nose feeling it’s impact on the lower end of the spine .
Exhale slowly from the nose taking as much time as you took inhaling
Continue for five to seven minutes
Soon you would realise your mind and body relaxing and the anxiety level coming to almost nil .
Repeat this exercise as often as you want to .
Relax your muscles and body by kayotsarga (progressive muscle relaxation exercise )
Anxiety and panic can cause your whole body to tense up making you feel uncomfortable. You can help reduce the stiffness of muscles of the body relaxing them one muscle at a time .Focus on each muscle beginning from the toes of the feet one by one and going upwards covering all parts of body one by one .An auto suggestion like ( my toes are relaxing ,my calf muscles are relaxing cover till the top of your forehead .
Move your body:yes that’s true:
Rather than sitting or lying down in panic going out for a walk or doing brisk walk in the room itself can help you bring your stress anxiety and the impending fear to a much reduced level .
Preferably you can, go for a walk outside or do some light stretching. Take yourself out of the environment that’s causing your anxiety .It will help ease your symptoms.
If you feel a panic attack coming on in a closed environment like bus ,train or an aircraft while travelling and you can’t get up and move , try these basic breathing exercises to help ground yourself and reduce the intensity of the attack.
Do some deep breathes and focus on the tip of your nostrils to feel the air getting in and exhaled air coming out . Soon you will feel better with diverted focus .
Breathe in deeply and exhale every breathe from the fingers of your feet one by one and later through each finger and toes of your hands .You will feel an ease coming to your mind and body soon.
Rub the palms of your hands slowly and putting the palms on your eyes later will help .
Doing this activity with your hands can help take your mind off anxiety a calmness sets in .
Repeat positive affirmations to yourself
A positive affirmation is a phrase or a sentence you repeat to yourself over and over but if you can write it and read it aloud ,the impact is many times more and empowering .
The statement can be
“ I am a calm person I am a powerful person “
or “I am a powerful person I can handle this situation “
Or “ I am a powerful person I have the power of mind “ .
Reading and saying these affirmations out loud can help, but if you’re in a public place and don’t feel comfortable with that, just say it silently to yourself. Make sure to read or speak the words slowly in your mind.
Get help of psychologist /Counselor
In order to prevent repeated occurrences ,you must seek the help of a psychologist .You can reach out to us at
“It happens to me every Monday morning, and believe me, doctor, I have come to dread my Sunday evenings too because I look at them as harbingers of the next week’s grueling work again,” averred Rajan*.
“At the beginning of every day, I usually open my work desk disinterestedly, with an apprehensive mindset that I may not be able to survive another week in this job,” says Lily*.
When you feel that you aren’t keeping pace with your job and procrastination becomes a habit rather than an exception, it’s time to take stock of your mental and physical health. As more and more tasks pile up, you begin with a disinterested mind. Your motivation vanishes. You start playing with the idea of going on a vacation or looking for another job. But even that doesn’t happen, as your body, mind, and brain all seem locked up in ennui.
This is exactly the time to seek help from a professional to understand whether it is simple stress or the beginning of depression. But more important is to analyse if it is a burnout situation, which can often be misunderstood as depression.
When Your Efficiency Curve Declines
The efficiency curve of humans is like any other performance curve with various stages of physical, emotional, and mental output. The curve has a rising phase, where work performance can be quite mood-elevating, bringing with it expected rewards and revenues. But soon, stagnant work performance and declining strength and output catch up with you. Your body and mind feel exhausted, and a regular sitting job in front of a laptop or computer seems very taxing. Whenever that happens, you feel quirky, irritated, or disinterested. A short break does help with rejuvenation, but repeated situations like this need to be analysed and understood.
This is where the journey of prolonged stress begins, and exhaustion or burnout creeps in without you realising why or what is happening.
How Do You Know If It’s Stress or Burnout?
There’s a difference between being stressed and being burned out. Stress happens when you’re engaged in work and sometimes get overly involved. Burnout, on the other hand, means being disengaged.
Burnout feels like you’ve checked out of your life emotionally and have nothing left to give. This severe and chronic condition goes beyond feeling overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, or fatigued. You might even experience physical effects like muscle tension, headaches, or digestive problems.
You can tell burnout from stress by noticing whether you’re avoiding work, frequently tired, and easily distracted. You also feel like a heavy load has been placed on your body and mind. People who are stressed believe things will improve once the source of stress is resolved. In burnout, nothing seems to work, and you feel like you can’t handle anything.
Signs You May Be Dealing with Burnout
Burnout occurs gradually over time. It creeps into your mental, physical, and emotional being and drains your energy completely. You sleep erratically and wake up wishing daylight had been delayed. You know you’re stuck in a vicious cycle—either of sleeplessness or oversleeping and avoidance.
Work piles up, phone calls remain unanswered, deadlines are missed. Headaches, body aches, and a general sense of listlessness and disinterest take their toll on your psyche.
When you browse the internet or seek advice, it can often be misunderstood or misdiagnosed as depression.
We advise you to get in touch with us if you need a professional assessment of your situation. Self-assessment or assumptions won’t give you an accurate diagnosis.
Our psychologist can assess, diagnose, and help you manage your burnout more effectively.
*Names and details have been changed to protect privacy.
Please note: All names and identifying details in the following article are fictional and used for illustrative purposes only.
Worry is a natural human emotion. It serves a purpose when it prompts us to constructively analyze a situation and plan a course of action. However, when worry spirals into constant fear and apprehension, it can become a debilitating emotional disturbance, hijacking the mind with perceived dangers that may never materialize. This chronic state can lead to anxiety, phobias, irrational thoughts, and obsessive behaviors.
The impact of excessive worry can manifest in various ways. Consider Mrs. Sharma, whose daughter, Julie, attends a local kindergarten. Initially, Julie was excited about school. However, she suddenly began complaining of stomach aches and refused to go. A pediatrician found no physical cause, leading to counseling sessions with Julie, her parents, and her teacher. These sessions revealed that Julie was constantly worried about her mother being alone at home.
This anxiety mirrored Mrs. Sharma’s own behavior. Concerned about her daughter’s safety on the school bus, Mrs. Sharma’s concern evolved into obsessive behavior. She would repeatedly ask the bus driver to drive slowly, and even follow the bus on her scooter until it reached the school gates. This “melodrama,” as the article calls it, continued for over a month, eventually prompting the bus attendant to request Mr. Sharma’s intervention.
Another example is Mrs. Narwhal, whose fear of germs led to elaborate rituals. She kept a separate set of clothes in her bathroom to change into immediately upon returning home. She would then bathe and wash the clothes she had worn outside, believing this would cleanse her of any contamination. While this ritual provided her with temporary relief, it disrupted the peace of her family. Any attempts to dissuade her from these practices were met with resistance, further isolating her.
The Psychology of Excessive Worry
Just as young Julie’s mind created a narrative of her mother’s potential vulnerability at home, excessive worry can distort reality for adults. It can trigger a cascade of fears, apprehensions, and dark imaginings about the safety of oneself and loved ones. This can manifest as:
Chronic anxiety: A persistent feeling of unease and apprehension.
Phobic thoughts: Irrational fears of specific objects or situations.
Obsessive compulsions: Repetitive behaviors performed to alleviate anxiety.
Generalized anxiety: Worrying about a wide range of everyday matters.
Panic attacks: Sudden episodes of intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and sweating.
In severe cases, individuals may even begin to worry about their own worrying, creating a vicious cycle.
The Physical and Emotional Toll
Chronic worry can also have significant physical effects, including:
Breathlessness
Rapid heartbeat
Excessive sweating
Choking sensations
Mental suppression and distress
Difficulty focusing and concentrating
Sleep disturbances
Seeking Help
When worry becomes chronic and debilitating, professional help is crucial. Effective treatments include:
Psychotherapy: To address the underlying causes of anxiety and develop coping mechanisms.
Cognitive therapy: To identify and challenge negative thought patterns.
Holistic therapy: To address the mind-body connection and promote overall well-being.
Mindfulness and meditation: To cultivate present moment awareness and reduce anxiety.
Conclusion
While occasional worry is a normal part of life, excessive worry can have a profound impact on mental and physical health. Recognizing the signs and seeking appropriate treatment are essential steps in reclaiming control and living a more fulfilling life.
-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert
First, let’s hear from those who have bravely faced their obsessions and compulsions and, with the help of our four-step strategic therapy, have managed to reclaim control of their lives. Doesn’t it sound surprising that individuals who suffered from OCD for years, despite being on long-term medication, have finally found relief? It may seem unbelievable to many who have struggled with OCD for years. However, this is often due to a lack of proper guidance and corrective approaches.
Let’s listen to the inspiring stories of individuals who have successfully taken control of their OCD and are now leading normal lives:
Aarti’s Journey Aarti, 22 (name changed), doesn’t even remember when she first developed the habit of compulsively washing every piece of clothing she wore outside. Each time she returned home, whether from college or the market, she would immediately head to the washroom, change her clothes, and wash them. Initially, her parents saw this as an attempt to maintain cleanliness. However, their concern grew when they noticed her repeating this behavior throughout the day, from morning until evening.
By the time Aarti came to us, she had been on strong psychiatric medications for over six years. Despite relying on anti-anxiety and SSRI pills, her OCD persisted. It wasn’t until she began our treatment program that she experienced significant relief.
Ahmad’s Story Ahmad, a businessman in Dubai, had achieved considerable success in his career. However, he couldn’t fully enjoy his accomplishments due to intrusive, obsessive thoughts. “An unknown anxiety grips my mind over trivial matters,” Ahmad explains. This overwhelming anxiety would only subside after he performed certain repetitive acts, which frightened his family.
Prakash’s Experience Prakash, an architect, had built a flourishing career and enjoyed a high social status. Yet, he struggled with obsessive thoughts that began in high school. Although medications temporarily alleviated his symptoms, the obsessive thoughts returned with greater intensity whenever he stopped the medications for more than a week.
Understanding OCD
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental and behavioral health condition characterized by unwanted, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions). These compulsions are performed to reduce the distress caused by obsessions, perpetuating a vicious cycle.
The cycle of OCD typically includes:
Obsession: Unwanted, intrusive thoughts or impulses.
Mental distress: Anxiety or fear triggered by these thoughts.
Compulsion: Repetitive actions performed to alleviate the distress.
Temporary relief: A short-lived sense of relief before the cycle restarts.
Common Symptoms of OCD
Obsessions
Obsessions are repetitive, intrusive thoughts that are often illogical but feel uncontrollable. These may include:
Concerns about safety or cleanliness.
Worries about relationships or social interactions.
Irrational fears about natural or unnatural phenomena.
Compulsions
Compulsions are repetitive behaviors or rituals performed to relieve the distress caused by obsessions. Common compulsions include:
Excessive cleaning or handwashing.
Repeatedly checking locks, appliances, or emails.
Counting or arranging objects.
Hoarding or obsessive texting.
Our Treatment Approach
We have developed an effective program to help clients overcome OCD and regain control of their lives:
Trans-Cranial Cerebral Spinal Stimulation Using self-projected inner sound therapy (Mahapran Dhwani), this technique targets affected brain areas. Patients undergo daily or alternate-day sessions of 45 minutes for 8–12 weeks, resulting in significant OCD remission.
Gut and Mind Correction Therapy By focusing on the gut-brain axis and ventral vagus nerve stimulation, we address the emotional and mental imbalances that trigger obsessive thoughts.
Kayotsarga and Chakra Meditation Kayotsarga exercises and chakra-focused meditation (Swas Preksha) help patients achieve emotional balance and self-regulation.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Affirmations Guided CBT sessions and positive affirmations empower patients to replace compulsive behaviors with healthier coping strategies.
Transforming Lives
Through a combination of advanced therapies, holistic practices, and expert guidance, our patients have achieved remarkable results. Many, including Aarti, Ahmad, and Prakash, are now living peaceful, medication-free lives, enjoying a sense of freedom they thought was unattainable.
Please let us know if we can help you with your OCD .
Names in this article have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
Ruby looked at her husband, David, who had just returned from the office. His face was marked with frustration, and his usual smile was nowhere to be seen. Disheartened, Ruby retreated to the kitchen, uncertain whether it was the right time to talk. She had planned an enjoyable evening, but David’s sullen demeanor made her think otherwise. This seemingly small moment was loaded with unspoken emotions, setting the tone for the rest of their evening and, potentially, their relationship.
Deepak, on the other hand, grew up in a household where affection was openly expressed—his parents always exchanged hugs and kisses before leaving the house. Naturally, he continued this tradition with his partner, Sayali. However, Sayali wasn’t comfortable with public displays of affection and would often push him away. The rejection was evident on her face, leaving Deepak feeling disappointed and emotionally distanced. These everyday moments illustrate the powerful, often unintentional, ways we communicate with those we care about the most.
Communication goes far beyond the words we speak. Language, in all its forms, plays a critical role in conveying thoughts and emotions. However, what’s often overlooked is the powerful language of unspoken cues—expressions, gestures, and body language that communicate volumes without uttering a single word. It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it, and often, what you don’t say at all.
Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, tone of voice, body posture, gestures, and eye contact. These elements can either reinforce our spoken words or contradict them entirely. Research suggests that up to 93% of communication is non-verbal, with body language and tone accounting for the majority of the message conveyed. This means that even when we say nothing, we are still communicating our feelings, intentions, and state of mind.
Imagine a partner who scrolls through their phone or laptop while the other is speaking. The inattentiveness leads not only to frustration but also to emotional withdrawal. Over time, this behavior can create distance, resentment, and even communication breakdowns. Consistently feeling unimportant in such interactions can have lasting impacts on self-esteem and the relationship’s overall health. When partners fail to acknowledge each other’s presence, they unintentionally send a message of disinterest and disregard.
The Subtle Impact of Micro-Expressions
Micro-expressions—those fleeting, involuntary facial expressions that occur in a fraction of a second—can reveal true emotions, even when we try to hide them. For example, a brief flash of anger, sadness, or disdain can be easily detected by our subconscious, influencing how we perceive a conversation or a person’s mood. These subtle cues often dictate the emotional direction of an interaction, especially when words fail to align with what’s truly being felt.
For instance, David’s irritated expression as he walked in the door was a micro-expression that Ruby picked up on instantly. Although he hadn’t spoken a word, his face told Ruby that he was upset, making her second-guess her plans for the evening. Similarly, Sayali’s look of discomfort whenever Deepak tried to show affection was a non-verbal signal that his actions were unwelcome, which deeply affected how he perceived their relationship.
The Cost of Taking Each Other for Granted
Relationships often fall into the trap of routine, where partners begin to take each other for granted. Picture this: you come home after a long day, expecting at least a warm smile or some acknowledgment, but instead, your partner is slouched on the sofa, absorbed in the TV, barely noticing your presence. You feel dismissed, unvalued, and hurt. These small yet significant moments accumulate, shaping how we feel about each other and our relationship.
The face, often referred to as the “index of the mind,” is a powerful communicator of our internal world. From infancy, we learn to read emotions from facial expressions. A warm smile, nod of agreement, or a gentle touch can convey understanding and connection. Conversely, a frown, lack of eye contact, or a dismissive wave can leave us feeling ignored and misunderstood.
The Impact of Unspoken Expectations
Unspoken expectations are another layer of non-verbal communication that can strain relationships. When one partner expects certain behaviors—like being greeted warmly after work or receiving a kiss before bed—and those expectations aren’t met, it creates a silent yet palpable tension. Over time, unmet expectations can breed resentment and feelings of neglect.
A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who frequently felt misunderstood due to non-verbal miscommunications were more likely to report lower relationship satisfaction. This suggests that it’s not just the big arguments that erode intimacy but also the silent, everyday disconnects that can quietly undermine a partnership.
Parental Influence: Setting the Emotional Tone for the Household
Children learn by observing. They mimic the emotional cues they see from their parents, often carrying these learned behaviors into adulthood. As parents, we set the emotional climate of our home. Positive expressions—such as smiling, engaging warmly with our loved ones, and showing enthusiasm in daily interactions—can create a nurturing environment that fosters healthy emotional development in children.
Imagine a household where parents frequently argue with scowls and angry gestures. Even without raising their voices, children sense the hostility and internalize it as part of their emotional landscape. On the contrary, a home where parents greet each other with kindness, maintain eye contact, and show affection sets a foundation for secure attachment and positive emotional health in children.
I recall visiting my friend Dimple during our school days. Her home was always filled with laughter and warmth, thanks to her mother’s welcoming nature. Dimple absorbed this positivity, carrying it forward into her own relationships. In contrast, my friend Manishaa grew up in a home where affection was scarce, and tension was palpable. Her mother’s stern looks and unwelcoming attitude led Manishaa to retreat emotionally, impacting her ability to connect with others as an adult.
The Ripple Effect of Emotional Expression
Our expressions don’t just affect those we direct them towards; they also have a ripple effect on the broader environment. A cheerful greeting can brighten the mood of an entire household, while a frown can dampen it. In the workplace, a simple nod of recognition can make an employee feel valued, while a dismissive gesture can undermine confidence and morale.
In parenting, the impact of non-verbal cues is even more pronounced. Children are highly attuned to the emotional climate of their home and often mirror their parents’ behaviors. When parents consistently display warmth and positive body language, it cultivates a sense of safety and belonging. Conversely, repeated exposure to negative expressions can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, and emotional distress in children.
Navigating Negative Emotions: The Art of Emotional Self-Regulation
We all experience a range of emotions—anger, frustration, stress, or disappointment. These are natural responses to life’s challenges. However, the way we express these emotions, especially around loved ones, matters immensely. Unconscious negative expressions—such as rolling eyes, frowning, or using a dismissive tone—can create feelings of rejection and hurt, pushing people away instead of drawing them closer.
Learning to manage and regulate our emotions is essential for healthy relationships. Emotional self-regulation doesn’t mean suppressing feelings but rather acknowledging them and choosing a mindful response. Taking a deep breath before reacting, practicing active listening, and using gentle facial expressions can significantly alter the course of a difficult interaction.
Practical Tips for Positive Non-Verbal Communication
Be Mindful of Your Facial Expressions: Our faces often reveal our emotions before we even speak. Practice maintaining a neutral or warm expression, especially during conversations with loved ones.
Use Eye Contact to Show Engagement: Looking someone in the eyes when they’re speaking shows that you’re present and paying attention. Avoid looking at your phone or being distracted when someone is talking to you.
Mirror Positive Body Language: Subtly mirroring your partner’s positive gestures can create a sense of connection. For instance, if they lean in while talking, do the same.
Practice Active Listening with Your Whole Body: Nod occasionally, use small verbal acknowledgments like “I see” or “I understand,” and face the person when they’re speaking.
Be Conscious of Your Tone and Posture: Even a comforting phrase can feel cold if delivered in a flat tone or with closed-off body language. Keep your posture open and relaxed.
Acknowledge and Apologize for Negative Expressions: If you catch yourself rolling your eyes or frowning during a conversation, acknowledge it and apologize. This shows accountability and a willingness to improve.
Conclusion: Embrace the Power of Positive Expression
The way we express ourselves, both verbally and non-verbally, has a profound impact on our relationships. By being mindful of our emotional expressions and making conscious efforts to display positive body language, we can strengthen our bonds with our partners, children, and everyone around us. Let’s strive to be intentional with our gestures, creating an environment where love, respect, and understanding thrive.
Positive communication is not just about speaking the right words; it’s about embodying the attitudes and emotions that build connection. By recognizing the power of non-verbal cues and embracing their influence, we can cultivate healthier, happier relationships that stand the test of time.
As families become more distant and dispersed due to career opportunities, the issue of elderly isolation is becoming increasingly important. Aging parents are often left alone as their children move to different cities or countries. This situation raises significant concerns about the mental and physical health of the elderly, who lack the daily support and companionship of their loved ones.
Mr. Subhash, an 80-year-old, and his wife Sita, aged 76, have been living alone for the past twenty years. Their two sons moved abroad for career opportunities and visit only once every three years. This limited contact leaves the elderly couple feeling isolated and disconnected from their family. Mr. Subhash suffers from sleep disorders, depression, and anxiety, while Sita, despite her own health issues, bravely supports him in his visits to the psychologist.
Similarly, Mr. Naweja, a businessman in his mid-seventies, faces a similar struggle. After losing his wife five years ago, he found it hard to adjust when his children moved to metro cities to build their careers. Despite multiple physical and mental health issues, he chose to return to his hometown to continue his business rather than remain alone in an unfamiliar city.
Mrs. Khedekar offers another poignant example. She lost her husband in her early forties and was left to raise her two sons alone. Today, her elder son lives abroad, while the younger one resides in a different city. Years of loneliness have led to severe mental health problems, including psychosis and schizophrenia. Even with a trained nurse, her isolation exacerbates her condition, causing frequent setbacks in her treatment.
The Rising Issue of Elderly Care and Loneliness
These cases are not isolated incidents; they reflect a growing trend where elderly individuals are left alone without the emotional and physical support of their families. As children move away to pursue their careers, their parents are left to fend for themselves, resulting in not just emotional stress but also severe impacts on their physical and mental health.
Young couples often choose to live separately from their parents to build their relationship, which can be beneficial but should include regular communication and visits to avoid the unintended consequence of elderly loneliness.
Key Facts on Elderly Isolation and Mental Health
The world’s population is aging rapidly. By 2050, the proportion of people over 60 years old will nearly double, from 12% to 22%. In India, there are currently 138 million elderly people, with approximately 15% suffering from mental health disorders. Many seniors face challenges such as reduced mobility, chronic pain, and a decline in cognitive functions, making them vulnerable to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
There are several risk factors for mental health problems among older adults:
Physical Health Decline: Older adults often suffer from reduced mobility, chronic illnesses, and frailty, which can limit their activities and social engagement.
Emotional Stressors: Events such as bereavement, retirement, and a decline in socioeconomic status can increase feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Lack of Social Interaction: Living alone without regular contact with family and friends can lead to psychological distress and mental health disorders.
Mental health issues, like depression, are closely linked to physical health problems. For example, elderly people with heart disease are more likely to suffer from depression, and untreated depression can worsen their overall health.
Elder Abuse and Its Impact on Mental Health
Elderly people are also at risk of abuse, including physical, emotional, financial, and social abuse. Current evidence suggests that 1 in 6 older adults experiences some form of elder abuse. This abuse can lead to serious, long-lasting psychological consequences, such as depression, anxiety, and a deep sense of isolation.
How Families Can Support Their Aging Parents
The big question remains: How can families support their aging parents when they live far away? Here are some actionable steps to help improve the situation:
Regular Communication: Regularly check in on your elderly loved ones through phone calls, video chats, and social media to maintain emotional connections.
Encourage Social Engagement: Encourage participation in community activities, clubs, or groups to help them stay socially active and reduce loneliness.
Professional Support: Hire trained caregivers or psychologists to provide professional help and companionship, ensuring that the elderly receive both medical and emotional support.
Create Senior-Friendly Environments: Encourage local communities and urban planners to create safe, accessible spaces where the elderly can socialize and feel secure.
Comprehensive Elder Care Programs: Advocate for better elder care programs that offer medical, psychological, and social support to help seniors live independently and with dignity.
Practical Solutions for Combating Elderly Isolation
Addressing the issue of elderly isolation requires a collective effort from families, communities, and policymakers. Here are a few practical steps:
Technology Integration: Teach the elderly to use technology like smartphones and social media platforms to stay in touch with family and friends. Virtual interaction can help bridge the gap created by physical distance.
Regular Health Checkups: Encourage regular health checkups and mental health screenings to detect and manage conditions early.
Elder Care Agencies: Use reliable elder care services that offer companionship, daily assistance, and medical support.
Community Support Programs: Join local community support groups that focus on elderly well-being, providing opportunities for social interaction and companionship.
Conclusion: Building a Supportive Environment for the Elderly
As families grow distant in this globalized world, it is crucial to ensure that elderly people do not feel abandoned or isolated. Families must find a balance between pursuing their dreams and maintaining meaningful connections with their aging parents. By fostering a culture of respect, care, and support, we can help our elderly live their golden years with dignity, love, and fulfillment.
Kalpana*, a company general manager, had a close call on the highway while driving home from work. Another driver abruptly overtook her, almost causing her to collide with the road divider. Startled and frustrated, Kalpana instinctively rolled down her window to express her anger. But as she noticed the other driver—a woman seemingly in a rush—Kalpana paused. In that brief moment, she considered the potential consequences of the encounter. She realized that her own rush to get home before her husband’s return had amplified her emotions, leading her to empathize with the other driver’s possible reasons for haste.
Such incidents are increasingly common as the frantic pace of daily life pushes individuals towards road rage. However, Kalpana’s ability to empathize allowed her to diffuse her anger—a crucial skill in managing intense emotions.
Anger is often misunderstood as a singular, isolated reaction, but it is actually a complex interplay of emotions and experiences. Recognizing this complexity is essential in addressing its underlying causes and preventing it from escalating.
Controlling anger is notoriously challenging, as it can lead to irrational behavior and negative consequences. Kalpana’s restraint on the road prevented a situation from spiraling out of control, a stark contrast to the unfortunate incident involving the Maharishi family.
Deepak Maharishi, a young man of 24, was driving his car with his mother beside him. As they neared their destination, an autorickshaw driver suddenly applied the brakes. Despite Deepak’s efforts to stop, his car bumped into the rear of the autorickshaw. Instead of assessing the situation calmly, Mrs. Maharishi immediately yelled at the autorickshaw driver, escalating tensions on the road. The confrontation soon spiraled into a chaotic scene, requiring police intervention to restore order.
Mrs. Maharishi’s reaction to the minor accident illustrates how unchecked anger can quickly escalate into larger conflicts. In moments like these, taking a moment to pause and assess the situation can prevent anger from overwhelming rational thought.
In contrast, finding ways to redirect attention—like Kalpana’s empathy, or even Manoj’s retreat to a serene location—can effectively diffuse anger. These strategies, though seemingly unconventional, offer powerful tools for emotional regulation.
In conclusion, managing anger requires a deep understanding of its origins and the implementation of effective coping mechanisms. By cultivating empathy, practicing self-awareness, and embracing moments of tranquility, individuals can navigate conflicts with composure and resilience, turning potential crises into opportunities for growth.
Rita, 32, has been negative and irritated for over a month. Her husband’s job is uncertain, and her bosses discuss similar issues at work.
David, 49, hasn’t dealt well with being denied a promotion. He feels his education, skills, and years of performance have been wasted. He fears premature retirement despite having more to offer.
Ashvani, 45, works globally but hasn’t had a project in a while, causing anxiety about his job. His family notices his stress, boredom, and anxiety.
Names are changed, but their situations are real. Careers seem to be falling apart suddenly. Why is their life in parentheses now?
The dreaded pink slip is making a comeback in IT and other industries after a decade of growth. Layoffs at companies like Microsoft, Google, and Amazon are causing anxiety and stress among employees. A job isn’t just a source of income; it’s a career, personal identity, and self-fulfillment. When threatened, it leads to negativity, self-criticism, and alienation.
From adolescence, we’re pushed to pursue careers that may not exist yet. We spend the first quarter of our lives getting educated and skilled for a job, and then our entire lives working. This affects our overall well-being. Realizing your job and career, the essence of your life, is being taken away can cause sleeplessness, stress, and unhappiness.
The threatening environment in the current job can negatively impact all aspects of life. It’s a wake-up call to reflect, evaluate, and plan—whether updating skills, upgrading, or finding a new career path.
How does this impact me and my family?
In today’s competitive era, any stage of life can bring the realization of a job’s psychological impact. Clients from early starters to top executives, exhausted and burnt out, question their career path. Well-intentioned parents push children into careers for financial security, often overlooking personal and professional needs.
Unfulfilling jobs negatively impact mental health. This needs addressing.
Signs of being in an unfulfilling career:
Feeling Wasted Time: Not living up to potential.
Low Self-Esteem: Unworthy, insecure, and fearful.
Job Threats: Worry about job security and financial well-being.
Relationship Stress: Long hours, dissatisfaction, and unappreciation.
What can I do to help myself?
Identify Emotions: Recognize how your career impacts your mental health.
Seek Professional Support: A psychologist can provide objective help.
Communicate: Discuss job stress with your spouse to avoid misunderstandings.
Journal: Reflect on your situations calmly.
Self-Care: Physical health is essential. Implement a self-care routine.
Change Perspective: Notice positive aspects of your job.
Make Changes: Evaluate options within your current position or environment.
Career Shift: If necessary, explore new career paths for fulfillment.
If your current career is negatively impacting your mental health, and you want to make changes, talking with a mentor, close friend, or family member can help. If you’re experiencing anxiety, anger, feelings of depression, or other negative emotions, and they are impacting your life, working with a therapist can help. You can get in touch with us at:
Have you of late been feeling deep in the woods? Do you feel the world is out to get you? Do you really feel the next Johnny is better than you? Do you want to just lie down and not look at the world in the daylight, with the curtains drawn and the lights off all the time? The day just seems to drag on, the night becomes all the more difficult, and sleep seems to have eluded you for many days. Do you look at the world as a real queer place with all the folks giving you advice to go and do something about it?
Do you:
Beat yourself up over silly mistakes,
Feel always sick and tired on account of not sleeping well,
Constantly grapple with unwanted thoughts running through your mind all the time,
Feel tormented with traumas and pains of life’s doings and undoings.
The doctor might say you have depression and a mood disorder. Others would simply call it an inability to face the stresses of the world and may associate it with anxiety attacks. Some could have compassion for you, or some could just call you a lazy buff. But do you really feel all that advice is necessary when all you are doing is being comfortable in the discomfort of inertia and the negation of the self?
But is it not a fact that you do want to feel truly good, only if someone could help you overcome this inertia of depression? The visits to the psychiatrists do not seem to have helped much, as they do nothing but prescribe a different medicine every time you go to them.
Here is a simple remedy that can help you overcome the negativity that seems to have entered your mind and life.
Make an attempt to accept yourself and feel a profound sense of warmth and self-importance. No, I am not advising you to become a megalomaniac, but asking you to feel the powers that be within you to resurrect your life. You have some magnetic power that makes you unique, that makes you “ME.” Identify this “ME” and make all efforts to become “ME.”
We often look at others and not only compare ourselves with others but also be always busy in the process of becoming others. But would becoming others make us happy or satisfied? No, not at all. The more we look outward towards others, the more we get dissociated with the self, the real “ME,” that always wants to excel and be recognized. But the rat race of becoming others, the eagerness of doing like the others do, pushes this “ME” to the unknown depths of ignominy.
We regularly conduct Preksha Meditation classes at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation, and our experiences reveal that the meditation of self-acceptance makes people gain positivity and a happy state of mind which cannot be compared to others because, in this, there is no “other.” The learning of the self can definitely be compared to the learning of new things and being part of something bigger, some sacred and celestial happiness and satisfaction.
If you want to feel this, self-acceptance is the habit you need to inculcate gradually in your mind.
Start by writing all the positive things about you on a paper, even if you feel there is nothing positive that you can write about yourself, just write the following statement:
“I am a powerful person. I have the power of mind.”
Continue writing a full page, then meditate on this, and you will gradually start feeling good.
You must accept yourself in a positive fashion, and that will help you overcome barriers to self-acceptance. Come and learn with us the daily self-acceptance practices that result in psychological and emotional healing.
Ramneek Kapoor, Clinical Psychologist and Family Therapist, Science of Living, Preksha Meditation Expert
Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 