Members of families in their ignorance or sometimes deliberately hurt each other to cause an unending mental emotional pain. Although a good family is meant to help individual members develop themselves to their full potential but chains of miscommunications, uncalled for egos, familial fights, discords and long-drawn-out misunderstandings result into a dysfunctional family hampering not only relationships but also a complete non achievement of personal career goals by individuals.
Kritika and Vijay (names changed) have been victims of two such grossly dysfunctional families themselves in their young age prior to their marriage and have till date (even after a decade of their having been married) not been able to overcome traumas of their young days in their parental homes. Resultantly now their children suffer from traumas of dis -functioning of their own families.
Little girl doesn't want to hear arguing of parents
Dr Kritika (name changed) and her two siblings have been witnessing painful fights of their parents all through their life where a triangular drama would take place every day and night with sibling shifting allegiances and taking sides sometimes with their father, another time with mother or being at war with each other. These fights still continue even though all siblings have chosen their own paths in life, they continue abhorring each other. Kritika’ s all efforts to bring her parents and siblings together again is not being accepted by others of family resultantly their deadlock remains.
Such painful family events and interactions leave intense hurts, personality issues, traumas and social adjustment issues all through life. Sejal, Sonia, Kamolika, Anand, Sumit (fictitious names ) and many others such people have been suffering PTSD, Anxieties ,Mistrusts ,phobias ,adjustment issues after they lived through such most painful family dramas and now they suffer alongside their children and spouses too because of the torments of the past .
The indelible scars of family fights destabilise the psyches of family members, have impacted their relationships, job performance and emotional stability all through the life. We have been helping many of such families deal with such dis functioning, Traumatic experiences childhood scars, depression anxiety and stresses to enable them understand what emotions prevailed when the dis functioning occurred, and how these family members could not deal with their as well as their parents’ partners, children and their siblings’ similar experiences —in which their entire family had suffered and many of them still suffer.
Understanding Triangulation of the dis functioning.
The functioning of any family gets disturbed when the normal day to day interaction with each other turns into accusations of not fulfilling expectations. Or when communication is not understood in the right perceptive or when the words used for emotions do not convey the spirit behind but the use of those words and dialogues or when patience is short lived and angers flare up.
In any such situation, the battle field turns into the members un knowingly playing the roles of perpetrators, victims or the negotiators who often act as mediators or pacifiers. But sometimes they also end up taking sides with either one. We believe every household or a family can get into such a situation one time or the other. However, if such a situation continues or comes up recurrently is the cause for alarm. Because if not resolved at the appropriate time it can turn onto a chronic dis functioning of the family.
A new understanding and perception of dealing with those situations have helped these families deal with and each individual member transformed into a stable, loving, mature, and dependable person, attaining their best personal success after they have come over to Family Therapy India.
If your family is one such family suffering from misfunctioning and traumas of the past . It is time now to help your family overcome such disputes, ego bruises, mistrusts and angers of the past. Take control of your life and feelings, and help others understand the need for curing their feelings. Know that we can help you bring about a positive change in your filial relationships. With commitment and time and our expert counseling sessions of family therapy, healing begins steadily and gradually until the family adopts the new normal relationships.
Ashu (name changed) had been unable to lead a fulfilling life ever since he was diagnosed with schizophrenia by a psychiatrist. He had been prescribed antipsychotic medicines by various psychiatrists at every clinic his family had brought him to. Yet nothing seemed to work. His fears and phobias had grown worse over time. The voices in his head continued to torment him. His rational thinking had been severely distorted, and for him, all the delusions had taken on the form of real images and characters.
Similarly, Sheena (name changed) lived in constant fear and phobia of persecution by a person who had long since walked out of her life, five years prior. Sheena had been diagnosed with delusional disorder, a psychotic disorder. Her life had become utterly distressing, as she would frequently get consumed by her phobia and was unable to manage her normal day-to-day routine.
Schizophrenia is a psychiatric condition that impairs and distorts the logical thinking and cognition of the individual affected by this chronic brain disorder, encompassing both “positive” and “negative” symptoms.
Positive symptoms include hallucinations (hearing voices or seeing things that aren’t real), delusions (firmly held false beliefs), and disorganized thinking or speech. People experiencing active positive symptoms often react to those symptoms in ways that are noticeable to those around them (e.g., agitation, confusion). Ashu had been troubled by imagined voices telling him that someone was planning to prosecute him and have him imprisoned. While these thoughts were not apparent to others, he frequently spoke of hearing voices and linked them to someone he had dealt with in his family business.
Negative symptoms involve a marked decline in the affected person’s social engagement, communication, and motivation to handle everyday responsibilities. Sheena had shown negative symptoms when she was first referred to us for what was described as “split personality” behaviour. However, schizophrenia is unrelated to split personality. She had in fact been suffering from delusional disorder, a form of psychotic disorder on the schizophrenia spectrum.
Both Ashu and Sheena showed resistance to antipsychotic medications, and their families had reached a point of near despair, feeling that nothing would ever help. Ashu would occasionally show some partial improvement, only to slide back to where things had originally begun. We observed that Sheena’s condition remained more deeply chronic and touched every area of her life. She showed no response to any antipsychotic medications being given by the psychiatrist.
Both Sheena and Ashu struggled to build and sustain relationships, whether within the family or outside of it. They found it hard to manage their everyday responsibilities due to mood swings and delusions that continuously undermined their ability to think clearly. Both had largely withdrawn from social life. Their disrupted thought patterns made it impossible for them to recognise that their thinking differed from those around them. Their families also found it an overwhelming and financially draining challenge to keep up with the treatment prescribed every two weeks, owing to the high expense and the patients’ persistent refusal to take their medication.
We chose to combine Mindful Perceptive Meditation Therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to treat both Ashu and Sheena on alternate days, ensuring consistency and reducing the chances of them slipping back into their ingrained schizophrenic patterns of thought and behaviour. In the beginning, engaging with them was a challenge — they would either skip sessions entirely or, when present, struggle to focus on what was being addressed. Over time, they began responding to our guidance. We introduced the treatment with “Shwas Preksha” — a mindful perceptive breathing exercise centred on the psychic centres — carried out under the supervision of an experienced instructor. Before long, we began to see meaningful progress in both clients.
We then introduced them to the practice of “Mindful Perceptive Meditation,” which draws both the body and mind into deep meditation on the psychic centres, with full awareness of the present moment and the breath experienced in its complete intensity. This was continued alongside regular Kayotsarga exercises, offering the clients a deeply needed sense of physical calm through mental focus. Kayotsarga is a meditative practice that separates the physical body from the mind and brings the body’s muscles to a state of complete, progressive rest — not unlike the progressive muscle relaxation technique.
Gradually, notable improvement was seen in several negative symptoms. Feelings of negativity towards self and family, a persistent sense of hopelessness, and a lack of interest or motivation began giving way to more positive thoughts and outlooks. Both clients responded encouragingly — Ashu and Sheena had begun acknowledging the brighter aspects of their lives. A growing sense of gratitude and appreciation became evident in their daily conversations with us, and we observed a renewed engagement with their everyday routines.
These gains were further reinforced through the practice of Mahaprana Dhwani — the generation of deep inner sound vibrations using the mouth and nose during exhalation — performed across all psychic centres as part of the deep perceptive breathing exercises undertaken by the patients.
Mindful Perceptive Meditation and CBT have been applied with considerable success across a range of psychiatric and psychological conditions. We have used Mindful Perceptive Meditation alongside positive affirmative techniques to assist affected individuals in regulating the functioning of endocrine glands associated with stress hormones and negative emotions, and to address the faulty thought patterns that follow. CBT fosters a more objective and evidence-based understanding of situations, helping individuals examine their thoughts with clarity and reason. Mindful Perceptive Meditation therapy also incorporates written affirmations about the self and one’s circumstances, assigned as homework and later discussed with the clients. The entire approach was directed at transforming negative self-perceptions and situational views into positive emotions and constructive thinking.
As a general guideline, a patient requires between 50 and 60 sessions spread over three to four months. In more severe cases, however, sessions — each lasting between 45 minutes and one hour — may extend to between 90 and 120 sessions over six to nine months, as was necessary in both of these cases.
It brings us immense satisfaction and joy that, following six months of consistent and dedicated effort, both patients had recovered substantially. With the loving support of their families and friends, the journey of reintegrating both of them into family life and society was successfully completed.
We have continued to apply Mindful Perceptive Meditation and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy with positive outcomes across many other cases involving depression, anxiety, stress, and various psychological disorders, helping numerous individuals return to a fulfilling and normal life.
“Perceptive Meditation allows you to live in and with your breath, gently drawing your mind away from the anxiety, stress, and burdens of daily life. It empowers you to be present in each moment with complete mindfulness of your soul, body, and mind.” — Ramneek Kapoor
If you have a family member suffering from any such condition, we warmly invite you to reach out and discuss how we can help you move forward.
Take that first step today, and we will walk with you towards the happiness and peace you deserve.
Neena felt desolate and lonely, and she suffered a sense of disorientation as she had been denied the job she was so confident of getting.
Rueben had completely given up after he had been passed over for a promotion, with his employer company preferring another candidate much junior to him in experience.
Tamanna felt numb and low after her boyfriend Nahar dropped her and opted for another relationship.
All these people have been denied and rejected from doing whatever they had expected or wanted to do. Some of them had worked for and invested years in reaching where they wanted to be in their careers or relationships.
Many such rejections have been witnessed in recent times, where people had to leave their homes and friends abroad after being denied extensions of visas, or students had to shelve their study plans for similar reasons.
Getting rejected breaks morale. It hurts to the core too. Whether it’s being rejected by a suitor, denial of a much-awaited promotion, or a rejected job interview, rejection is not always taken in an acceptable manner. Even though people are sometimes apprehensive of hearing a “no,” they do not want to hear it for fear of not being approved.
For some people, the fear of hearing “no” becomes so strong that it stops them from taking risks or asking for what they want. Rejection sensitivity can deeply affect daily life, leading to anger, irritation, financial stress, social stress, and often much more than what is stated above.
With so many layoffs, upheavals, and shelving of long-term plans, the hopes and confidence of many are getting derailed.
Let’s understand how we can deal with rejections and the shattering of dreams and expectations, and make rejections less hurtful and more introspective in an accepting way to help rebuild mental and emotional strength and move forward. It sounds easy, but it is not. That’s where the process of “rejection therapy” plays a very positive role in rebuilding and re-emerging as a better person.
What is rejection therapy, and how does it help?
We would rather call it a reconfirming self-technique, where we undertake self-acceptance, self-expression, and a self-improvement process that we can practice on our own when needed.
In this therapy, instead of avoiding situations where we might be told “no,” we actively anticipate them without causing apprehension and anxiety.
The dynamic social environment carries a lot of grapevine, and if we pay attention to these rumours, we can expect to be either accepted, ignored, or rejected. The anticipated discomfort begins much in advance, and we can build resilience to it in smaller steps.
You start with tiny social challenges where you expect to be rejected, and then gradually build your tolerance to discomfort.
The goal isn’t to reject rejection. The exercise helps build confidence, reduce social anxiety, and not permit fear to control your life. When we realise that rejection does not mean as much as we thought—and that many people are kinder than we imagine—it becomes easier to take risks that matter.
But that doesn’t mean you should expect only negative results. Being hopeful and positive has its rewards, and that realisation brings happiness and acceptance.
Wherever you fear and anticipate rejection, acceptance can bring wonderful surprises and self-acceptance.
Gradually, the human brain learns that rejection can be worked through by looking for substitute rewards, and that rejection is not as damaging as expected.
Small steps in dealing with anticipated refusals make you more accepting and comforted. You move on in life and develop maturity and patience to bear the brunt of major challenges.
Each rejection handled with calmness and maturity builds mental and emotional strength and equips the brain with a better understanding of the subject, developing resilience and adjustment.
Rejection then becomes less painful and traumatic as you learn to manage such situations deliberately.
Rejection becomes less self-effacing and more about learning and adjustment. Your brain rewires itself to see social situations as opportunities for growth rather than threats to avoid.
If the thought of anticipated rejection or refusal causes severe anxiety, panic, or intense negative emotions, you should seek professional support from a therapist rather than trying to handle it alone. We at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation can help you manage such anxiety, fear, or panic and help you move forward.
Rejection does not define your life in totality. It can be an opportunity to build a stronger future and prepare yourself to overcome the fear of rejection.
When you stop letting the possibility of hearing “no” determine your worth and start adding value to your decisions for the future, you open yourself to opportunities, connections, and experiences you might have overlooked.
You can contact us at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation if you feel you need professional counselling in the following situations:
When your anxiety, fear, or stress worsens and causes distress
When you are unable to move past feelings of rejection and constantly feel sad or hopeless
When you experience panic
When you develop physical symptoms or traumatic stress linked to negative thoughts
When you find yourself becoming avoidant, overly self-critical, or nihilistic
When you feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm
When you are unable to carry out your day-to-day functioning
Please call or reach out to us at @mansikpramarsh. We would be glad to help you.
In a world where stress, anxiety, and depression often feel like unavoidable parts of life, many are looking for a way to heal that doesn’t rely solely on a prescription bottle.
The “Science of Living” offers a powerful, drug-free alternative by combining two proven methods: Perceptive Meditation and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). While CBT gives you the mental tools to handle life’s challenges, Perceptive Meditation works directly on your body’s internal chemistry, helping to balance your hormones and nervous system from the inside out.
Together, these therapies bridge the gap between the mind and the body, offering a holistic path to lasting peace and emotional resilience.
The Body-Mind Connection
Modern science is beginning to validate what traditional practices have long held: the “psychic centers” of the body—biologically known as the endocrine glands—are the bridges between our physical and mental states. This field, known as psychoneuroendocrinology, studies how our thoughts affect our hormones, emotions, and intellectual functioning.
Recent evidence highlights the power of focusing on these centers:
Hormonal Reset: A 2025 study in Nature confirmed that specific breathing and focus techniques (like those in Perceptive/Preksha meditation) increase oxytocin and endorphins while significantly lowering cortisol.
Neuroplasticity: 2026 research shows that short-term meditation can “shrink” the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and “thicken” the prefrontal cortex (the center for logic and control).
Genetic Impact: Trials indicate that 8 weeks of consistent practice can positively alter gene expression related to immunity and metabolism.
2. Defining the Two Pillars
What is Perceptive Meditation?
Perceptive Meditation is a technique focused on the psychic centers (endocrine glands) to transform emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. By meditating on these centers with complete absorption, practitioners can “rectify” chemical secretions—shifting them from negative (stress-inducing) to positive (wellness-inducing).
It works on three levels:
Physical: Rejuvenates the immune system and improves circulation.
Emotional: Harmonizes the nervous system to eradicate depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic disorders without medication.
Psychological: Cleanses the mind of suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, and chronic negativity.
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
Cognition refers to the conscious mental processes of thinking and reasoning. CBT is a goal-oriented “talk therapy” designed to help individuals rectify distorted thinking patterns that occur during emotional distress.
When we experience trauma or upheaval, our minds often lose touch with healthy cognition, leading to a “negative filter” through which we view all events, people, and ourselves. CBT provides the tools to challenge these thoughts and return to a balanced perspective.
3. How the “Joint Therapy” Works
By combining these two methods, we create a two-pronged approach to healing:
Feature
Perceptive Meditation (The Body)
CBT (The Mind)
Focus
Internal “Psychic Centers”
External Triggers & Beliefs
Mechanism
Flushes negative chemicals; calms the nervous system.
Identifies sources of distress (e.g., bullying, trauma).
Goal
Physical re-tuning of the stress response.
Cognitive tools to handle future triggers.
4. Real-World Applications
Clinical trials from 2024–2026 show that this integrated approach produces spectacular results for:
Severe Conditions: PTSD, Chronic Pain, and Clinical Anxiety.
Behavioral Disorders: OCD, ADHD, and Eating Disorders (Anorexia/Bulimia).
General Well-being: Improving resilience in students and retirees, and preventing depression relapses.
5. What to Expect in a Session
This joint therapy is a collaborative, non-medicinal process. A standard program involves:
Frequency: 50-minute sessions, 3 times per week.
Practice: Combining deep meditation on endocrine points with written and spoken cognitive exercises.
Outcome: A long-lasting empowerment that develops new cognitive abilities and a positive self-perception without causing additional mental trauma.
By Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist, and Science of Living Expert
Would you believe it that the best armies in the world today are making use of Mindful Perceptive Meditation (Preksha Dhyan) in different forms to train their personnel? On self-discipline, stress management, develop focus and resilience, and improve performance in all areas of their professional life, and lead a holistic, meaningful personal life too.
What does Mindful Perceptive Meditation (Preksha Dhyan) do, and how does it become beneficial in our professional, student, and personal life?
The therapeutic technique of Preksha Dhyan or Mindful Perceptive Meditation includes five ‘A’ exercises: Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Adjustment, Adoption, or Adaptation. These extensive exercises, emphasizing the mental perception build-up of a solid personal and professional self, are undertaken during the therapy on a regular basis.
How does it help me better my professional self?
Stress Reduction: Stress happens to all. There is always stress of performing better than everyone, more so if you are under evaluation, be it a study examination, competitive performance, doing better in business relationships, or even regular work and jobs. Such stress often saps your confidence and energy, bringing about a feeling of not being up to it.
Preksha Dhyan sessions help in all situations of professional and personal life. A few sessions of Preksha Dhyan (Mindful Perceptive Meditation) enable professionals, students, trainees, and others to regulate their autonomic nervous system to “turn off” the stress response, and re-energize them with a fresh sense of taking on tasks with new vigor and a positive mindset. Preksha Dhyan or Mindful Perceptive Meditation training thus becomes a key element of inoculation training against any kind of stress and brings instant relief, and when done on a regular basis, it keeps stress away.
Enhanced Performance: Preksha Dhyan or perceptive meditation therapy aims to improve focus, analytical understanding, memory, ability to recall, decision-making, overall cognitive performance under pressure, and make delivering better performance each time a regular habit, improving effectiveness in all areas of life of students, professionals, executives, sportsperson, and industrial workers.
Integration: It brings about harmony with the self and the external world, improving understanding of the self and of the environment around. A better interaction of both takes place each time a challenge occurs in life. Incorporated into daily, easy-to-do cerebral exercises of a few minutes, it goes a long way in keeping the mind and body at peace with each other, reducing anxiety to a minimal level, developing general resilience, body awareness, and awareness of the environment. Conflicts in life are thus handled by the person in a very cool, calm, positive, and unperturbed manner.
Key Programs & Concepts:
Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MBFMT): Instead of working only on stress, the program aims to focus on training the mind to stay fit in all kinds of situations and stay alert, with inbuilt positive responses to environmental and atmospheric changes.
Resilience Training: Preksha Dhyan or Mindful Perceptive Meditation aims to build stronger mental strength and a truthful, transparent character with inherent qualities of honesty and morality in modern times.
Evolution of a holistic personality that is always learning, adopting, and adapting thus becomes the main force of any individual undertaking training in Preksha Dhyan (Mindful Perceptive Meditation) at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation.
When Rashi had her first panic attack she was appearing for school board exams .She didn’t know she was having one till her throat felt dry ,her hands started trembling and all of a sudden she felt she was going to faint .That made her cry out loud for help .She wanted to immediately get out of the examination hall.
However a timely intervention by the people around helped her recover faster as she was given the first aid support in time.
Panic attacks do not come with a warning and they become too scary to those who suffer one all of sudden and if a timely help is not available the same can turn a little damaging too .
Rashi did have some stress of her ensuing examination but she had also been suffering from fever for a few days and had not yet fully recovered . She had been feeling weak, a bit tired and sleepy . In this kind of stressful situation she had suddenly developed an anxiety and lost control of mind .Her breathing seemed to have become very shallow,rapid and she had hyperventilated .
The feeling passed after little first aid support and within a few minutes she felt better although still dazed .No one knew that she had experienced her first panic attack that day, until it happened again when she was in a crowded shopping mall .
How to know if it is a panic attack
It can happen to anyone and can take place in any situation.We discuss hereunder the early signs and symptoms indicating about panic attack :
Usually it begins with a dizziness of the head and the person feels a little disoriented to the environment around .The other symptoms not necessary all of them together can be :
Mild pounding of heart in the middle of chest and feeling of fast heart beats
Shortness of breathing and feeling of suffocation
Breathless and major discomfort breathing even though the environment is not claustrophobic
Feeling a sense of numbness in the arms or legs or both
Chest pain
Hot flashes or cold sweat
Nausea
Trembling and shaking of body parts
Anxiety attack vs. panic attack
An anxiety doesn’t come all of a sudden but it builds up over time ruminating or apprehending some of the anticipated events and it remains there even when the event may not take place .Thus anxiety is triggering of the apprehension but it stays as a constant feeling disrupting the normal functioning .
A panic attack on the other hand has more debilitating effect , comes out all of a sudden and much more intense episode of fear ,anxiety and a feeling of oncoming loss of consciousness and breathing difficulty takes over .
Anxiety and panic attacks even though have similar symptoms, but panic can make one feel like one is losing control of one’s awareness,orientation .The person feels that brain and body are not coordinating . This can happen repeatedly leaving one helpless and worrying of being vulnerable all the time .Resultantly one may stop stepping out of home alone .
Some of the ways to calm down during a panic attack
Rashi was lucky when her first panic attack lasted only a few minutes and went away after help from the people around but the second time she wasn’t because it occurred in a shopping mall and help took a little longer .
Panic attacks tend to peak within a few minutes and go away also sooner but for some occasions these attacks can last longer and the person becomes restless with fear of something happening to him or her and gets panicky .
How do we control when a panic attack seems to be occurring or seems imminent:
Perceptive and Meditative Breathing;
Deep breathing has often been recommended as the compulsory activity to do when stressed .
In anxiety and panic perceptive breathing can really do magic on your mood.Lets understand how :
Close your eyes softly
Keep your body and spine supple and stress free
Now focus on the lower end (tail end ) of your spine and breathe from the nose very slowly .The mind must be completely involved in the breathing .
Inhale slowly from the nose feeling it’s impact on the lower end of the spine .
Exhale slowly from the nose taking as much time as you took inhaling
Continue for five to seven minutes
Soon you would realise your mind and body relaxing and the anxiety level coming to almost nil .
Repeat this exercise as often as you want to .
Relax your muscles and body by kayotsarga (progressive muscle relaxation exercise )
Anxiety and panic can cause your whole body to tense up making you feel uncomfortable. You can help reduce the stiffness of muscles of the body relaxing them one muscle at a time .Focus on each muscle beginning from the toes of the feet one by one and going upwards covering all parts of body one by one .An auto suggestion like ( my toes are relaxing ,my calf muscles are relaxing cover till the top of your forehead .
Move your body:yes that’s true:
Rather than sitting or lying down in panic going out for a walk or doing brisk walk in the room itself can help you bring your stress anxiety and the impending fear to a much reduced level .
Preferably you can, go for a walk outside or do some light stretching. Take yourself out of the environment that’s causing your anxiety .It will help ease your symptoms.
If you feel a panic attack coming on in a closed environment like bus ,train or an aircraft while travelling and you can’t get up and move , try these basic breathing exercises to help ground yourself and reduce the intensity of the attack.
Do some deep breathes and focus on the tip of your nostrils to feel the air getting in and exhaled air coming out . Soon you will feel better with diverted focus .
Breathe in deeply and exhale every breathe from the fingers of your feet one by one and later through each finger and toes of your hands .You will feel an ease coming to your mind and body soon.
Rub the palms of your hands slowly and putting the palms on your eyes later will help .
Doing this activity with your hands can help take your mind off anxiety a calmness sets in .
Repeat positive affirmations to yourself
A positive affirmation is a phrase or a sentence you repeat to yourself over and over but if you can write it and read it aloud ,the impact is many times more and empowering .
The statement can be
“ I am a calm person I am a powerful person “
or “I am a powerful person I can handle this situation “
Or “ I am a powerful person I have the power of mind “ .
Reading and saying these affirmations out loud can help, but if you’re in a public place and don’t feel comfortable with that, just say it silently to yourself. Make sure to read or speak the words slowly in your mind.
Get help of psychologist /Counselor
In order to prevent repeated occurrences ,you must seek the help of a psychologist .You can reach out to us at
“It happens to me every Monday morning, and believe me, doctor, I have come to dread my Sunday evenings too because I look at them as harbingers of the next week’s grueling work again,” averred Rajan*.
“At the beginning of every day, I usually open my work desk disinterestedly, with an apprehensive mindset that I may not be able to survive another week in this job,” says Lily*.
When you feel that you aren’t keeping pace with your job and procrastination becomes a habit rather than an exception, it’s time to take stock of your mental and physical health. As more and more tasks pile up, you begin with a disinterested mind. Your motivation vanishes. You start playing with the idea of going on a vacation or looking for another job. But even that doesn’t happen, as your body, mind, and brain all seem locked up in ennui.
This is exactly the time to seek help from a professional to understand whether it is simple stress or the beginning of depression. But more important is to analyse if it is a burnout situation, which can often be misunderstood as depression.
When Your Efficiency Curve Declines
The efficiency curve of humans is like any other performance curve with various stages of physical, emotional, and mental output. The curve has a rising phase, where work performance can be quite mood-elevating, bringing with it expected rewards and revenues. But soon, stagnant work performance and declining strength and output catch up with you. Your body and mind feel exhausted, and a regular sitting job in front of a laptop or computer seems very taxing. Whenever that happens, you feel quirky, irritated, or disinterested. A short break does help with rejuvenation, but repeated situations like this need to be analysed and understood.
This is where the journey of prolonged stress begins, and exhaustion or burnout creeps in without you realising why or what is happening.
How Do You Know If It’s Stress or Burnout?
There’s a difference between being stressed and being burned out. Stress happens when you’re engaged in work and sometimes get overly involved. Burnout, on the other hand, means being disengaged.
Burnout feels like you’ve checked out of your life emotionally and have nothing left to give. This severe and chronic condition goes beyond feeling overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, or fatigued. You might even experience physical effects like muscle tension, headaches, or digestive problems.
You can tell burnout from stress by noticing whether you’re avoiding work, frequently tired, and easily distracted. You also feel like a heavy load has been placed on your body and mind. People who are stressed believe things will improve once the source of stress is resolved. In burnout, nothing seems to work, and you feel like you can’t handle anything.
Signs You May Be Dealing with Burnout
Burnout occurs gradually over time. It creeps into your mental, physical, and emotional being and drains your energy completely. You sleep erratically and wake up wishing daylight had been delayed. You know you’re stuck in a vicious cycle—either of sleeplessness or oversleeping and avoidance.
Work piles up, phone calls remain unanswered, deadlines are missed. Headaches, body aches, and a general sense of listlessness and disinterest take their toll on your psyche.
When you browse the internet or seek advice, it can often be misunderstood or misdiagnosed as depression.
We advise you to get in touch with us if you need a professional assessment of your situation. Self-assessment or assumptions won’t give you an accurate diagnosis.
Our psychologist can assess, diagnose, and help you manage your burnout more effectively.
*Names and details have been changed to protect privacy.
Please note: All names and identifying details in the following article are fictional and used for illustrative purposes only.
Worry is a natural human emotion. It serves a purpose when it prompts us to constructively analyze a situation and plan a course of action. However, when worry spirals into constant fear and apprehension, it can become a debilitating emotional disturbance, hijacking the mind with perceived dangers that may never materialize. This chronic state can lead to anxiety, phobias, irrational thoughts, and obsessive behaviors.
The impact of excessive worry can manifest in various ways. Consider Mrs. Sharma, whose daughter, Julie, attends a local kindergarten. Initially, Julie was excited about school. However, she suddenly began complaining of stomach aches and refused to go. A pediatrician found no physical cause, leading to counseling sessions with Julie, her parents, and her teacher. These sessions revealed that Julie was constantly worried about her mother being alone at home.
This anxiety mirrored Mrs. Sharma’s own behavior. Concerned about her daughter’s safety on the school bus, Mrs. Sharma’s concern evolved into obsessive behavior. She would repeatedly ask the bus driver to drive slowly, and even follow the bus on her scooter until it reached the school gates. This “melodrama,” as the article calls it, continued for over a month, eventually prompting the bus attendant to request Mr. Sharma’s intervention.
Another example is Mrs. Narwhal, whose fear of germs led to elaborate rituals. She kept a separate set of clothes in her bathroom to change into immediately upon returning home. She would then bathe and wash the clothes she had worn outside, believing this would cleanse her of any contamination. While this ritual provided her with temporary relief, it disrupted the peace of her family. Any attempts to dissuade her from these practices were met with resistance, further isolating her.
The Psychology of Excessive Worry
Just as young Julie’s mind created a narrative of her mother’s potential vulnerability at home, excessive worry can distort reality for adults. It can trigger a cascade of fears, apprehensions, and dark imaginings about the safety of oneself and loved ones. This can manifest as:
Chronic anxiety: A persistent feeling of unease and apprehension.
Phobic thoughts: Irrational fears of specific objects or situations.
Obsessive compulsions: Repetitive behaviors performed to alleviate anxiety.
Generalized anxiety: Worrying about a wide range of everyday matters.
Panic attacks: Sudden episodes of intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and sweating.
In severe cases, individuals may even begin to worry about their own worrying, creating a vicious cycle.
The Physical and Emotional Toll
Chronic worry can also have significant physical effects, including:
Breathlessness
Rapid heartbeat
Excessive sweating
Choking sensations
Mental suppression and distress
Difficulty focusing and concentrating
Sleep disturbances
Seeking Help
When worry becomes chronic and debilitating, professional help is crucial. Effective treatments include:
Psychotherapy: To address the underlying causes of anxiety and develop coping mechanisms.
Cognitive therapy: To identify and challenge negative thought patterns.
Holistic therapy: To address the mind-body connection and promote overall well-being.
Mindfulness and meditation: To cultivate present moment awareness and reduce anxiety.
Conclusion
While occasional worry is a normal part of life, excessive worry can have a profound impact on mental and physical health. Recognizing the signs and seeking appropriate treatment are essential steps in reclaiming control and living a more fulfilling life.
-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert
Names in this article have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
Ruby looked at her husband, David, who had just returned from the office. His face was marked with frustration, and his usual smile was nowhere to be seen. Disheartened, Ruby retreated to the kitchen, uncertain whether it was the right time to talk. She had planned an enjoyable evening, but David’s sullen demeanor made her think otherwise. This seemingly small moment was loaded with unspoken emotions, setting the tone for the rest of their evening and, potentially, their relationship.
Deepak, on the other hand, grew up in a household where affection was openly expressed—his parents always exchanged hugs and kisses before leaving the house. Naturally, he continued this tradition with his partner, Sayali. However, Sayali wasn’t comfortable with public displays of affection and would often push him away. The rejection was evident on her face, leaving Deepak feeling disappointed and emotionally distanced. These everyday moments illustrate the powerful, often unintentional, ways we communicate with those we care about the most.
Communication goes far beyond the words we speak. Language, in all its forms, plays a critical role in conveying thoughts and emotions. However, what’s often overlooked is the powerful language of unspoken cues—expressions, gestures, and body language that communicate volumes without uttering a single word. It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it, and often, what you don’t say at all.
Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, tone of voice, body posture, gestures, and eye contact. These elements can either reinforce our spoken words or contradict them entirely. Research suggests that up to 93% of communication is non-verbal, with body language and tone accounting for the majority of the message conveyed. This means that even when we say nothing, we are still communicating our feelings, intentions, and state of mind.
Imagine a partner who scrolls through their phone or laptop while the other is speaking. The inattentiveness leads not only to frustration but also to emotional withdrawal. Over time, this behavior can create distance, resentment, and even communication breakdowns. Consistently feeling unimportant in such interactions can have lasting impacts on self-esteem and the relationship’s overall health. When partners fail to acknowledge each other’s presence, they unintentionally send a message of disinterest and disregard.
The Subtle Impact of Micro-Expressions
Micro-expressions—those fleeting, involuntary facial expressions that occur in a fraction of a second—can reveal true emotions, even when we try to hide them. For example, a brief flash of anger, sadness, or disdain can be easily detected by our subconscious, influencing how we perceive a conversation or a person’s mood. These subtle cues often dictate the emotional direction of an interaction, especially when words fail to align with what’s truly being felt.
For instance, David’s irritated expression as he walked in the door was a micro-expression that Ruby picked up on instantly. Although he hadn’t spoken a word, his face told Ruby that he was upset, making her second-guess her plans for the evening. Similarly, Sayali’s look of discomfort whenever Deepak tried to show affection was a non-verbal signal that his actions were unwelcome, which deeply affected how he perceived their relationship.
The Cost of Taking Each Other for Granted
Relationships often fall into the trap of routine, where partners begin to take each other for granted. Picture this: you come home after a long day, expecting at least a warm smile or some acknowledgment, but instead, your partner is slouched on the sofa, absorbed in the TV, barely noticing your presence. You feel dismissed, unvalued, and hurt. These small yet significant moments accumulate, shaping how we feel about each other and our relationship.
The face, often referred to as the “index of the mind,” is a powerful communicator of our internal world. From infancy, we learn to read emotions from facial expressions. A warm smile, nod of agreement, or a gentle touch can convey understanding and connection. Conversely, a frown, lack of eye contact, or a dismissive wave can leave us feeling ignored and misunderstood.
The Impact of Unspoken Expectations
Unspoken expectations are another layer of non-verbal communication that can strain relationships. When one partner expects certain behaviors—like being greeted warmly after work or receiving a kiss before bed—and those expectations aren’t met, it creates a silent yet palpable tension. Over time, unmet expectations can breed resentment and feelings of neglect.
A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who frequently felt misunderstood due to non-verbal miscommunications were more likely to report lower relationship satisfaction. This suggests that it’s not just the big arguments that erode intimacy but also the silent, everyday disconnects that can quietly undermine a partnership.
Parental Influence: Setting the Emotional Tone for the Household
Children learn by observing. They mimic the emotional cues they see from their parents, often carrying these learned behaviors into adulthood. As parents, we set the emotional climate of our home. Positive expressions—such as smiling, engaging warmly with our loved ones, and showing enthusiasm in daily interactions—can create a nurturing environment that fosters healthy emotional development in children.
Imagine a household where parents frequently argue with scowls and angry gestures. Even without raising their voices, children sense the hostility and internalize it as part of their emotional landscape. On the contrary, a home where parents greet each other with kindness, maintain eye contact, and show affection sets a foundation for secure attachment and positive emotional health in children.
I recall visiting my friend Dimple during our school days. Her home was always filled with laughter and warmth, thanks to her mother’s welcoming nature. Dimple absorbed this positivity, carrying it forward into her own relationships. In contrast, my friend Manishaa grew up in a home where affection was scarce, and tension was palpable. Her mother’s stern looks and unwelcoming attitude led Manishaa to retreat emotionally, impacting her ability to connect with others as an adult.
The Ripple Effect of Emotional Expression
Our expressions don’t just affect those we direct them towards; they also have a ripple effect on the broader environment. A cheerful greeting can brighten the mood of an entire household, while a frown can dampen it. In the workplace, a simple nod of recognition can make an employee feel valued, while a dismissive gesture can undermine confidence and morale.
In parenting, the impact of non-verbal cues is even more pronounced. Children are highly attuned to the emotional climate of their home and often mirror their parents’ behaviors. When parents consistently display warmth and positive body language, it cultivates a sense of safety and belonging. Conversely, repeated exposure to negative expressions can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, and emotional distress in children.
Navigating Negative Emotions: The Art of Emotional Self-Regulation
We all experience a range of emotions—anger, frustration, stress, or disappointment. These are natural responses to life’s challenges. However, the way we express these emotions, especially around loved ones, matters immensely. Unconscious negative expressions—such as rolling eyes, frowning, or using a dismissive tone—can create feelings of rejection and hurt, pushing people away instead of drawing them closer.
Learning to manage and regulate our emotions is essential for healthy relationships. Emotional self-regulation doesn’t mean suppressing feelings but rather acknowledging them and choosing a mindful response. Taking a deep breath before reacting, practicing active listening, and using gentle facial expressions can significantly alter the course of a difficult interaction.
Practical Tips for Positive Non-Verbal Communication
Be Mindful of Your Facial Expressions: Our faces often reveal our emotions before we even speak. Practice maintaining a neutral or warm expression, especially during conversations with loved ones.
Use Eye Contact to Show Engagement: Looking someone in the eyes when they’re speaking shows that you’re present and paying attention. Avoid looking at your phone or being distracted when someone is talking to you.
Mirror Positive Body Language: Subtly mirroring your partner’s positive gestures can create a sense of connection. For instance, if they lean in while talking, do the same.
Practice Active Listening with Your Whole Body: Nod occasionally, use small verbal acknowledgments like “I see” or “I understand,” and face the person when they’re speaking.
Be Conscious of Your Tone and Posture: Even a comforting phrase can feel cold if delivered in a flat tone or with closed-off body language. Keep your posture open and relaxed.
Acknowledge and Apologize for Negative Expressions: If you catch yourself rolling your eyes or frowning during a conversation, acknowledge it and apologize. This shows accountability and a willingness to improve.
Conclusion: Embrace the Power of Positive Expression
The way we express ourselves, both verbally and non-verbally, has a profound impact on our relationships. By being mindful of our emotional expressions and making conscious efforts to display positive body language, we can strengthen our bonds with our partners, children, and everyone around us. Let’s strive to be intentional with our gestures, creating an environment where love, respect, and understanding thrive.
Positive communication is not just about speaking the right words; it’s about embodying the attitudes and emotions that build connection. By recognizing the power of non-verbal cues and embracing their influence, we can cultivate healthier, happier relationships that stand the test of time.
As families become more distant and dispersed due to career opportunities, the issue of elderly isolation is becoming increasingly important. Aging parents are often left alone as their children move to different cities or countries. This situation raises significant concerns about the mental and physical health of the elderly, who lack the daily support and companionship of their loved ones.
Mr. Subhash, an 80-year-old, and his wife Sita, aged 76, have been living alone for the past twenty years. Their two sons moved abroad for career opportunities and visit only once every three years. This limited contact leaves the elderly couple feeling isolated and disconnected from their family. Mr. Subhash suffers from sleep disorders, depression, and anxiety, while Sita, despite her own health issues, bravely supports him in his visits to the psychologist.
Similarly, Mr. Naweja, a businessman in his mid-seventies, faces a similar struggle. After losing his wife five years ago, he found it hard to adjust when his children moved to metro cities to build their careers. Despite multiple physical and mental health issues, he chose to return to his hometown to continue his business rather than remain alone in an unfamiliar city.
Mrs. Khedekar offers another poignant example. She lost her husband in her early forties and was left to raise her two sons alone. Today, her elder son lives abroad, while the younger one resides in a different city. Years of loneliness have led to severe mental health problems, including psychosis and schizophrenia. Even with a trained nurse, her isolation exacerbates her condition, causing frequent setbacks in her treatment.
The Rising Issue of Elderly Care and Loneliness
These cases are not isolated incidents; they reflect a growing trend where elderly individuals are left alone without the emotional and physical support of their families. As children move away to pursue their careers, their parents are left to fend for themselves, resulting in not just emotional stress but also severe impacts on their physical and mental health.
Young couples often choose to live separately from their parents to build their relationship, which can be beneficial but should include regular communication and visits to avoid the unintended consequence of elderly loneliness.
Key Facts on Elderly Isolation and Mental Health
The world’s population is aging rapidly. By 2050, the proportion of people over 60 years old will nearly double, from 12% to 22%. In India, there are currently 138 million elderly people, with approximately 15% suffering from mental health disorders. Many seniors face challenges such as reduced mobility, chronic pain, and a decline in cognitive functions, making them vulnerable to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
There are several risk factors for mental health problems among older adults:
Physical Health Decline: Older adults often suffer from reduced mobility, chronic illnesses, and frailty, which can limit their activities and social engagement.
Emotional Stressors: Events such as bereavement, retirement, and a decline in socioeconomic status can increase feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Lack of Social Interaction: Living alone without regular contact with family and friends can lead to psychological distress and mental health disorders.
Mental health issues, like depression, are closely linked to physical health problems. For example, elderly people with heart disease are more likely to suffer from depression, and untreated depression can worsen their overall health.
Elder Abuse and Its Impact on Mental Health
Elderly people are also at risk of abuse, including physical, emotional, financial, and social abuse. Current evidence suggests that 1 in 6 older adults experiences some form of elder abuse. This abuse can lead to serious, long-lasting psychological consequences, such as depression, anxiety, and a deep sense of isolation.
How Families Can Support Their Aging Parents
The big question remains: How can families support their aging parents when they live far away? Here are some actionable steps to help improve the situation:
Regular Communication: Regularly check in on your elderly loved ones through phone calls, video chats, and social media to maintain emotional connections.
Encourage Social Engagement: Encourage participation in community activities, clubs, or groups to help them stay socially active and reduce loneliness.
Professional Support: Hire trained caregivers or psychologists to provide professional help and companionship, ensuring that the elderly receive both medical and emotional support.
Create Senior-Friendly Environments: Encourage local communities and urban planners to create safe, accessible spaces where the elderly can socialize and feel secure.
Comprehensive Elder Care Programs: Advocate for better elder care programs that offer medical, psychological, and social support to help seniors live independently and with dignity.
Practical Solutions for Combating Elderly Isolation
Addressing the issue of elderly isolation requires a collective effort from families, communities, and policymakers. Here are a few practical steps:
Technology Integration: Teach the elderly to use technology like smartphones and social media platforms to stay in touch with family and friends. Virtual interaction can help bridge the gap created by physical distance.
Regular Health Checkups: Encourage regular health checkups and mental health screenings to detect and manage conditions early.
Elder Care Agencies: Use reliable elder care services that offer companionship, daily assistance, and medical support.
Community Support Programs: Join local community support groups that focus on elderly well-being, providing opportunities for social interaction and companionship.
Conclusion: Building a Supportive Environment for the Elderly
As families grow distant in this globalized world, it is crucial to ensure that elderly people do not feel abandoned or isolated. Families must find a balance between pursuing their dreams and maintaining meaningful connections with their aging parents. By fostering a culture of respect, care, and support, we can help our elderly live their golden years with dignity, love, and fulfillment.
