“It happens to me every Monday morning, and believe me, doctor, I have come to dread my Sunday evenings too because I look at them as harbingers of the next week’s grueling work again,” averred Rajan*.
“At the beginning of every day, I usually open my work desk disinterestedly, with an apprehensive mindset that I may not be able to survive another week in this job,” says Lily*.
When you feel that you aren’t keeping pace with your job and procrastination becomes a habit rather than an exception, it’s time to take stock of your mental and physical health. As more and more tasks pile up, you begin with a disinterested mind. Your motivation vanishes. You start playing with the idea of going on a vacation or looking for another job. But even that doesn’t happen, as your body, mind, and brain all seem locked up in ennui.
This is exactly the time to seek help from a professional to understand whether it is simple stress or the beginning of depression. But more important is to analyse if it is a burnout situation, which can often be misunderstood as depression.
When Your Efficiency Curve Declines
The efficiency curve of humans is like any other performance curve with various stages of physical, emotional, and mental output. The curve has a rising phase, where work performance can be quite mood-elevating, bringing with it expected rewards and revenues. But soon, stagnant work performance and declining strength and output catch up with you. Your body and mind feel exhausted, and a regular sitting job in front of a laptop or computer seems very taxing. Whenever that happens, you feel quirky, irritated, or disinterested. A short break does help with rejuvenation, but repeated situations like this need to be analysed and understood.
This is where the journey of prolonged stress begins, and exhaustion or burnout creeps in without you realising why or what is happening.
How Do You Know If It’s Stress or Burnout?
There’s a difference between being stressed and being burned out. Stress happens when you’re engaged in work and sometimes get overly involved. Burnout, on the other hand, means being disengaged.
Burnout feels like you’ve checked out of your life emotionally and have nothing left to give. This severe and chronic condition goes beyond feeling overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, or fatigued. You might even experience physical effects like muscle tension, headaches, or digestive problems.
You can tell burnout from stress by noticing whether you’re avoiding work, frequently tired, and easily distracted. You also feel like a heavy load has been placed on your body and mind. People who are stressed believe things will improve once the source of stress is resolved. In burnout, nothing seems to work, and you feel like you can’t handle anything.
Signs You May Be Dealing with Burnout
Burnout occurs gradually over time. It creeps into your mental, physical, and emotional being and drains your energy completely. You sleep erratically and wake up wishing daylight had been delayed. You know you’re stuck in a vicious cycle—either of sleeplessness or oversleeping and avoidance.
Work piles up, phone calls remain unanswered, deadlines are missed. Headaches, body aches, and a general sense of listlessness and disinterest take their toll on your psyche.
When you browse the internet or seek advice, it can often be misunderstood or misdiagnosed as depression.
We advise you to get in touch with us if you need a professional assessment of your situation. Self-assessment or assumptions won’t give you an accurate diagnosis.
Our psychologist can assess, diagnose, and help you manage your burnout more effectively.
*Names and details have been changed to protect privacy.
Please note: All names and identifying details in the following article are fictional and used for illustrative purposes only.
Worry is a natural human emotion. It serves a purpose when it prompts us to constructively analyze a situation and plan a course of action. However, when worry spirals into constant fear and apprehension, it can become a debilitating emotional disturbance, hijacking the mind with perceived dangers that may never materialize. This chronic state can lead to anxiety, phobias, irrational thoughts, and obsessive behaviors.
The impact of excessive worry can manifest in various ways. Consider Mrs. Sharma, whose daughter, Julie, attends a local kindergarten. Initially, Julie was excited about school. However, she suddenly began complaining of stomach aches and refused to go. A pediatrician found no physical cause, leading to counseling sessions with Julie, her parents, and her teacher. These sessions revealed that Julie was constantly worried about her mother being alone at home.
This anxiety mirrored Mrs. Sharma’s own behavior. Concerned about her daughter’s safety on the school bus, Mrs. Sharma’s concern evolved into obsessive behavior. She would repeatedly ask the bus driver to drive slowly, and even follow the bus on her scooter until it reached the school gates. This “melodrama,” as the article calls it, continued for over a month, eventually prompting the bus attendant to request Mr. Sharma’s intervention.
Another example is Mrs. Narwhal, whose fear of germs led to elaborate rituals. She kept a separate set of clothes in her bathroom to change into immediately upon returning home. She would then bathe and wash the clothes she had worn outside, believing this would cleanse her of any contamination. While this ritual provided her with temporary relief, it disrupted the peace of her family. Any attempts to dissuade her from these practices were met with resistance, further isolating her.
The Psychology of Excessive Worry
Just as young Julie’s mind created a narrative of her mother’s potential vulnerability at home, excessive worry can distort reality for adults. It can trigger a cascade of fears, apprehensions, and dark imaginings about the safety of oneself and loved ones. This can manifest as:
Chronic anxiety: A persistent feeling of unease and apprehension.
Phobic thoughts: Irrational fears of specific objects or situations.
Obsessive compulsions: Repetitive behaviors performed to alleviate anxiety.
Generalized anxiety: Worrying about a wide range of everyday matters.
Panic attacks: Sudden episodes of intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and sweating.
In severe cases, individuals may even begin to worry about their own worrying, creating a vicious cycle.
The Physical and Emotional Toll
Chronic worry can also have significant physical effects, including:
Breathlessness
Rapid heartbeat
Excessive sweating
Choking sensations
Mental suppression and distress
Difficulty focusing and concentrating
Sleep disturbances
Seeking Help
When worry becomes chronic and debilitating, professional help is crucial. Effective treatments include:
Psychotherapy: To address the underlying causes of anxiety and develop coping mechanisms.
Cognitive therapy: To identify and challenge negative thought patterns.
Holistic therapy: To address the mind-body connection and promote overall well-being.
Mindfulness and meditation: To cultivate present moment awareness and reduce anxiety.
Conclusion
While occasional worry is a normal part of life, excessive worry can have a profound impact on mental and physical health. Recognizing the signs and seeking appropriate treatment are essential steps in reclaiming control and living a more fulfilling life.
-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert
Names in this article have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
Ruby looked at her husband, David, who had just returned from the office. His face was marked with frustration, and his usual smile was nowhere to be seen. Disheartened, Ruby retreated to the kitchen, uncertain whether it was the right time to talk. She had planned an enjoyable evening, but David’s sullen demeanor made her think otherwise. This seemingly small moment was loaded with unspoken emotions, setting the tone for the rest of their evening and, potentially, their relationship.
Deepak, on the other hand, grew up in a household where affection was openly expressed—his parents always exchanged hugs and kisses before leaving the house. Naturally, he continued this tradition with his partner, Sayali. However, Sayali wasn’t comfortable with public displays of affection and would often push him away. The rejection was evident on her face, leaving Deepak feeling disappointed and emotionally distanced. These everyday moments illustrate the powerful, often unintentional, ways we communicate with those we care about the most.
Communication goes far beyond the words we speak. Language, in all its forms, plays a critical role in conveying thoughts and emotions. However, what’s often overlooked is the powerful language of unspoken cues—expressions, gestures, and body language that communicate volumes without uttering a single word. It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it, and often, what you don’t say at all.
Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, tone of voice, body posture, gestures, and eye contact. These elements can either reinforce our spoken words or contradict them entirely. Research suggests that up to 93% of communication is non-verbal, with body language and tone accounting for the majority of the message conveyed. This means that even when we say nothing, we are still communicating our feelings, intentions, and state of mind.
Imagine a partner who scrolls through their phone or laptop while the other is speaking. The inattentiveness leads not only to frustration but also to emotional withdrawal. Over time, this behavior can create distance, resentment, and even communication breakdowns. Consistently feeling unimportant in such interactions can have lasting impacts on self-esteem and the relationship’s overall health. When partners fail to acknowledge each other’s presence, they unintentionally send a message of disinterest and disregard.
The Subtle Impact of Micro-Expressions
Micro-expressions—those fleeting, involuntary facial expressions that occur in a fraction of a second—can reveal true emotions, even when we try to hide them. For example, a brief flash of anger, sadness, or disdain can be easily detected by our subconscious, influencing how we perceive a conversation or a person’s mood. These subtle cues often dictate the emotional direction of an interaction, especially when words fail to align with what’s truly being felt.
For instance, David’s irritated expression as he walked in the door was a micro-expression that Ruby picked up on instantly. Although he hadn’t spoken a word, his face told Ruby that he was upset, making her second-guess her plans for the evening. Similarly, Sayali’s look of discomfort whenever Deepak tried to show affection was a non-verbal signal that his actions were unwelcome, which deeply affected how he perceived their relationship.
The Cost of Taking Each Other for Granted
Relationships often fall into the trap of routine, where partners begin to take each other for granted. Picture this: you come home after a long day, expecting at least a warm smile or some acknowledgment, but instead, your partner is slouched on the sofa, absorbed in the TV, barely noticing your presence. You feel dismissed, unvalued, and hurt. These small yet significant moments accumulate, shaping how we feel about each other and our relationship.
The face, often referred to as the “index of the mind,” is a powerful communicator of our internal world. From infancy, we learn to read emotions from facial expressions. A warm smile, nod of agreement, or a gentle touch can convey understanding and connection. Conversely, a frown, lack of eye contact, or a dismissive wave can leave us feeling ignored and misunderstood.
The Impact of Unspoken Expectations
Unspoken expectations are another layer of non-verbal communication that can strain relationships. When one partner expects certain behaviors—like being greeted warmly after work or receiving a kiss before bed—and those expectations aren’t met, it creates a silent yet palpable tension. Over time, unmet expectations can breed resentment and feelings of neglect.
A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who frequently felt misunderstood due to non-verbal miscommunications were more likely to report lower relationship satisfaction. This suggests that it’s not just the big arguments that erode intimacy but also the silent, everyday disconnects that can quietly undermine a partnership.
Parental Influence: Setting the Emotional Tone for the Household
Children learn by observing. They mimic the emotional cues they see from their parents, often carrying these learned behaviors into adulthood. As parents, we set the emotional climate of our home. Positive expressions—such as smiling, engaging warmly with our loved ones, and showing enthusiasm in daily interactions—can create a nurturing environment that fosters healthy emotional development in children.
Imagine a household where parents frequently argue with scowls and angry gestures. Even without raising their voices, children sense the hostility and internalize it as part of their emotional landscape. On the contrary, a home where parents greet each other with kindness, maintain eye contact, and show affection sets a foundation for secure attachment and positive emotional health in children.
I recall visiting my friend Dimple during our school days. Her home was always filled with laughter and warmth, thanks to her mother’s welcoming nature. Dimple absorbed this positivity, carrying it forward into her own relationships. In contrast, my friend Manishaa grew up in a home where affection was scarce, and tension was palpable. Her mother’s stern looks and unwelcoming attitude led Manishaa to retreat emotionally, impacting her ability to connect with others as an adult.
The Ripple Effect of Emotional Expression
Our expressions don’t just affect those we direct them towards; they also have a ripple effect on the broader environment. A cheerful greeting can brighten the mood of an entire household, while a frown can dampen it. In the workplace, a simple nod of recognition can make an employee feel valued, while a dismissive gesture can undermine confidence and morale.
In parenting, the impact of non-verbal cues is even more pronounced. Children are highly attuned to the emotional climate of their home and often mirror their parents’ behaviors. When parents consistently display warmth and positive body language, it cultivates a sense of safety and belonging. Conversely, repeated exposure to negative expressions can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, and emotional distress in children.
Navigating Negative Emotions: The Art of Emotional Self-Regulation
We all experience a range of emotions—anger, frustration, stress, or disappointment. These are natural responses to life’s challenges. However, the way we express these emotions, especially around loved ones, matters immensely. Unconscious negative expressions—such as rolling eyes, frowning, or using a dismissive tone—can create feelings of rejection and hurt, pushing people away instead of drawing them closer.
Learning to manage and regulate our emotions is essential for healthy relationships. Emotional self-regulation doesn’t mean suppressing feelings but rather acknowledging them and choosing a mindful response. Taking a deep breath before reacting, practicing active listening, and using gentle facial expressions can significantly alter the course of a difficult interaction.
Practical Tips for Positive Non-Verbal Communication
Be Mindful of Your Facial Expressions: Our faces often reveal our emotions before we even speak. Practice maintaining a neutral or warm expression, especially during conversations with loved ones.
Use Eye Contact to Show Engagement: Looking someone in the eyes when they’re speaking shows that you’re present and paying attention. Avoid looking at your phone or being distracted when someone is talking to you.
Mirror Positive Body Language: Subtly mirroring your partner’s positive gestures can create a sense of connection. For instance, if they lean in while talking, do the same.
Practice Active Listening with Your Whole Body: Nod occasionally, use small verbal acknowledgments like “I see” or “I understand,” and face the person when they’re speaking.
Be Conscious of Your Tone and Posture: Even a comforting phrase can feel cold if delivered in a flat tone or with closed-off body language. Keep your posture open and relaxed.
Acknowledge and Apologize for Negative Expressions: If you catch yourself rolling your eyes or frowning during a conversation, acknowledge it and apologize. This shows accountability and a willingness to improve.
Conclusion: Embrace the Power of Positive Expression
The way we express ourselves, both verbally and non-verbally, has a profound impact on our relationships. By being mindful of our emotional expressions and making conscious efforts to display positive body language, we can strengthen our bonds with our partners, children, and everyone around us. Let’s strive to be intentional with our gestures, creating an environment where love, respect, and understanding thrive.
Positive communication is not just about speaking the right words; it’s about embodying the attitudes and emotions that build connection. By recognizing the power of non-verbal cues and embracing their influence, we can cultivate healthier, happier relationships that stand the test of time.
As families become more distant and dispersed due to career opportunities, the issue of elderly isolation is becoming increasingly important. Aging parents are often left alone as their children move to different cities or countries. This situation raises significant concerns about the mental and physical health of the elderly, who lack the daily support and companionship of their loved ones.
Mr. Subhash, an 80-year-old, and his wife Sita, aged 76, have been living alone for the past twenty years. Their two sons moved abroad for career opportunities and visit only once every three years. This limited contact leaves the elderly couple feeling isolated and disconnected from their family. Mr. Subhash suffers from sleep disorders, depression, and anxiety, while Sita, despite her own health issues, bravely supports him in his visits to the psychologist.
Similarly, Mr. Naweja, a businessman in his mid-seventies, faces a similar struggle. After losing his wife five years ago, he found it hard to adjust when his children moved to metro cities to build their careers. Despite multiple physical and mental health issues, he chose to return to his hometown to continue his business rather than remain alone in an unfamiliar city.
Mrs. Khedekar offers another poignant example. She lost her husband in her early forties and was left to raise her two sons alone. Today, her elder son lives abroad, while the younger one resides in a different city. Years of loneliness have led to severe mental health problems, including psychosis and schizophrenia. Even with a trained nurse, her isolation exacerbates her condition, causing frequent setbacks in her treatment.
The Rising Issue of Elderly Care and Loneliness
These cases are not isolated incidents; they reflect a growing trend where elderly individuals are left alone without the emotional and physical support of their families. As children move away to pursue their careers, their parents are left to fend for themselves, resulting in not just emotional stress but also severe impacts on their physical and mental health.
Young couples often choose to live separately from their parents to build their relationship, which can be beneficial but should include regular communication and visits to avoid the unintended consequence of elderly loneliness.
Key Facts on Elderly Isolation and Mental Health
The world’s population is aging rapidly. By 2050, the proportion of people over 60 years old will nearly double, from 12% to 22%. In India, there are currently 138 million elderly people, with approximately 15% suffering from mental health disorders. Many seniors face challenges such as reduced mobility, chronic pain, and a decline in cognitive functions, making them vulnerable to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
There are several risk factors for mental health problems among older adults:
Physical Health Decline: Older adults often suffer from reduced mobility, chronic illnesses, and frailty, which can limit their activities and social engagement.
Emotional Stressors: Events such as bereavement, retirement, and a decline in socioeconomic status can increase feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Lack of Social Interaction: Living alone without regular contact with family and friends can lead to psychological distress and mental health disorders.
Mental health issues, like depression, are closely linked to physical health problems. For example, elderly people with heart disease are more likely to suffer from depression, and untreated depression can worsen their overall health.
Elder Abuse and Its Impact on Mental Health
Elderly people are also at risk of abuse, including physical, emotional, financial, and social abuse. Current evidence suggests that 1 in 6 older adults experiences some form of elder abuse. This abuse can lead to serious, long-lasting psychological consequences, such as depression, anxiety, and a deep sense of isolation.
How Families Can Support Their Aging Parents
The big question remains: How can families support their aging parents when they live far away? Here are some actionable steps to help improve the situation:
Regular Communication: Regularly check in on your elderly loved ones through phone calls, video chats, and social media to maintain emotional connections.
Encourage Social Engagement: Encourage participation in community activities, clubs, or groups to help them stay socially active and reduce loneliness.
Professional Support: Hire trained caregivers or psychologists to provide professional help and companionship, ensuring that the elderly receive both medical and emotional support.
Create Senior-Friendly Environments: Encourage local communities and urban planners to create safe, accessible spaces where the elderly can socialize and feel secure.
Comprehensive Elder Care Programs: Advocate for better elder care programs that offer medical, psychological, and social support to help seniors live independently and with dignity.
Practical Solutions for Combating Elderly Isolation
Addressing the issue of elderly isolation requires a collective effort from families, communities, and policymakers. Here are a few practical steps:
Technology Integration: Teach the elderly to use technology like smartphones and social media platforms to stay in touch with family and friends. Virtual interaction can help bridge the gap created by physical distance.
Regular Health Checkups: Encourage regular health checkups and mental health screenings to detect and manage conditions early.
Elder Care Agencies: Use reliable elder care services that offer companionship, daily assistance, and medical support.
Community Support Programs: Join local community support groups that focus on elderly well-being, providing opportunities for social interaction and companionship.
Conclusion: Building a Supportive Environment for the Elderly
As families grow distant in this globalized world, it is crucial to ensure that elderly people do not feel abandoned or isolated. Families must find a balance between pursuing their dreams and maintaining meaningful connections with their aging parents. By fostering a culture of respect, care, and support, we can help our elderly live their golden years with dignity, love, and fulfillment.
Kalpana*, a company general manager, had a close call on the highway while driving home from work. Another driver abruptly overtook her, almost causing her to collide with the road divider. Startled and frustrated, Kalpana instinctively rolled down her window to express her anger. But as she noticed the other driver—a woman seemingly in a rush—Kalpana paused. In that brief moment, she considered the potential consequences of the encounter. She realized that her own rush to get home before her husband’s return had amplified her emotions, leading her to empathize with the other driver’s possible reasons for haste.
Such incidents are increasingly common as the frantic pace of daily life pushes individuals towards road rage. However, Kalpana’s ability to empathize allowed her to diffuse her anger—a crucial skill in managing intense emotions.
Anger is often misunderstood as a singular, isolated reaction, but it is actually a complex interplay of emotions and experiences. Recognizing this complexity is essential in addressing its underlying causes and preventing it from escalating.
Controlling anger is notoriously challenging, as it can lead to irrational behavior and negative consequences. Kalpana’s restraint on the road prevented a situation from spiraling out of control, a stark contrast to the unfortunate incident involving the Maharishi family.
Deepak Maharishi, a young man of 24, was driving his car with his mother beside him. As they neared their destination, an autorickshaw driver suddenly applied the brakes. Despite Deepak’s efforts to stop, his car bumped into the rear of the autorickshaw. Instead of assessing the situation calmly, Mrs. Maharishi immediately yelled at the autorickshaw driver, escalating tensions on the road. The confrontation soon spiraled into a chaotic scene, requiring police intervention to restore order.
Mrs. Maharishi’s reaction to the minor accident illustrates how unchecked anger can quickly escalate into larger conflicts. In moments like these, taking a moment to pause and assess the situation can prevent anger from overwhelming rational thought.
In contrast, finding ways to redirect attention—like Kalpana’s empathy, or even Manoj’s retreat to a serene location—can effectively diffuse anger. These strategies, though seemingly unconventional, offer powerful tools for emotional regulation.
In conclusion, managing anger requires a deep understanding of its origins and the implementation of effective coping mechanisms. By cultivating empathy, practicing self-awareness, and embracing moments of tranquility, individuals can navigate conflicts with composure and resilience, turning potential crises into opportunities for growth.
Rita, 32, has been negative and irritated for over a month. Her husband’s job is uncertain, and her bosses discuss similar issues at work.
David, 49, hasn’t dealt well with being denied a promotion. He feels his education, skills, and years of performance have been wasted. He fears premature retirement despite having more to offer.
Ashvani, 45, works globally but hasn’t had a project in a while, causing anxiety about his job. His family notices his stress, boredom, and anxiety.
Names are changed, but their situations are real. Careers seem to be falling apart suddenly. Why is their life in parentheses now?
The dreaded pink slip is making a comeback in IT and other industries after a decade of growth. Layoffs at companies like Microsoft, Google, and Amazon are causing anxiety and stress among employees. A job isn’t just a source of income; it’s a career, personal identity, and self-fulfillment. When threatened, it leads to negativity, self-criticism, and alienation.
From adolescence, we’re pushed to pursue careers that may not exist yet. We spend the first quarter of our lives getting educated and skilled for a job, and then our entire lives working. This affects our overall well-being. Realizing your job and career, the essence of your life, is being taken away can cause sleeplessness, stress, and unhappiness.
The threatening environment in the current job can negatively impact all aspects of life. It’s a wake-up call to reflect, evaluate, and plan—whether updating skills, upgrading, or finding a new career path.
How does this impact me and my family?
In today’s competitive era, any stage of life can bring the realization of a job’s psychological impact. Clients from early starters to top executives, exhausted and burnt out, question their career path. Well-intentioned parents push children into careers for financial security, often overlooking personal and professional needs.
Unfulfilling jobs negatively impact mental health. This needs addressing.
Signs of being in an unfulfilling career:
Feeling Wasted Time: Not living up to potential.
Low Self-Esteem: Unworthy, insecure, and fearful.
Job Threats: Worry about job security and financial well-being.
Relationship Stress: Long hours, dissatisfaction, and unappreciation.
What can I do to help myself?
Identify Emotions: Recognize how your career impacts your mental health.
Seek Professional Support: A psychologist can provide objective help.
Communicate: Discuss job stress with your spouse to avoid misunderstandings.
Journal: Reflect on your situations calmly.
Self-Care: Physical health is essential. Implement a self-care routine.
Change Perspective: Notice positive aspects of your job.
Make Changes: Evaluate options within your current position or environment.
Career Shift: If necessary, explore new career paths for fulfillment.
If your current career is negatively impacting your mental health, and you want to make changes, talking with a mentor, close friend, or family member can help. If you’re experiencing anxiety, anger, feelings of depression, or other negative emotions, and they are impacting your life, working with a therapist can help. You can get in touch with us at:
Have you of late been feeling deep in the woods? Do you feel the world is out to get you? Do you really feel the next Johnny is better than you? Do you want to just lie down and not look at the world in the daylight, with the curtains drawn and the lights off all the time? The day just seems to drag on, the night becomes all the more difficult, and sleep seems to have eluded you for many days. Do you look at the world as a real queer place with all the folks giving you advice to go and do something about it?
Do you:
Beat yourself up over silly mistakes,
Feel always sick and tired on account of not sleeping well,
Constantly grapple with unwanted thoughts running through your mind all the time,
Feel tormented with traumas and pains of life’s doings and undoings.
The doctor might say you have depression and a mood disorder. Others would simply call it an inability to face the stresses of the world and may associate it with anxiety attacks. Some could have compassion for you, or some could just call you a lazy buff. But do you really feel all that advice is necessary when all you are doing is being comfortable in the discomfort of inertia and the negation of the self?
But is it not a fact that you do want to feel truly good, only if someone could help you overcome this inertia of depression? The visits to the psychiatrists do not seem to have helped much, as they do nothing but prescribe a different medicine every time you go to them.
Here is a simple remedy that can help you overcome the negativity that seems to have entered your mind and life.
Make an attempt to accept yourself and feel a profound sense of warmth and self-importance. No, I am not advising you to become a megalomaniac, but asking you to feel the powers that be within you to resurrect your life. You have some magnetic power that makes you unique, that makes you “ME.” Identify this “ME” and make all efforts to become “ME.”
We often look at others and not only compare ourselves with others but also be always busy in the process of becoming others. But would becoming others make us happy or satisfied? No, not at all. The more we look outward towards others, the more we get dissociated with the self, the real “ME,” that always wants to excel and be recognized. But the rat race of becoming others, the eagerness of doing like the others do, pushes this “ME” to the unknown depths of ignominy.
We regularly conduct Preksha Meditation classes at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation, and our experiences reveal that the meditation of self-acceptance makes people gain positivity and a happy state of mind which cannot be compared to others because, in this, there is no “other.” The learning of the self can definitely be compared to the learning of new things and being part of something bigger, some sacred and celestial happiness and satisfaction.
If you want to feel this, self-acceptance is the habit you need to inculcate gradually in your mind.
Start by writing all the positive things about you on a paper, even if you feel there is nothing positive that you can write about yourself, just write the following statement:
“I am a powerful person. I have the power of mind.”
Continue writing a full page, then meditate on this, and you will gradually start feeling good.
You must accept yourself in a positive fashion, and that will help you overcome barriers to self-acceptance. Come and learn with us the daily self-acceptance practices that result in psychological and emotional healing.
Ramneek Kapoor, Clinical Psychologist and Family Therapist, Science of Living, Preksha Meditation Expert
Rhea (name changed )had been wondering as to where had she gone wrong in her decision to make her marriage a dream marriage that she had always dreamt about. She had wanted her marriage to be a mean to her happiness and love. She wanted to share a home full of marital bliss with her life partner Sam . Those two had always been looked upon as if they were a kind of made for each other couple during the six month long courtship. It wasn’t long since everyone at their reception ceremony had praised their complementing and completing each other .
Yet something went wrong immediately after they had returned from their honeymoon.She to utter dismay felt that she was not able to cope up with the demands being made on her by the family members of Sam. .She was feeling bad that she had not come upto the expectations of her mother in law. Her husband would often find her guilty of having upset his mother.Her mother in law would insult her ,in the kitchen and would not allow her to cook anything. if she had really been trained to be a housewife only things would have been different.She has been a professional programmer in an I.T. company and her husband who worked alongside her in the same organisation knew it very well.Then why this sudden demand of attending to household work .She would get into the bed room to discuss the post wedding trauma with her husband who often refused to discuss anything about his mother’s stand.
Jatin’s (name changed ) wife had left home to be with her mother for a week, has not returned now for many months as she decided to get out of the marriage because Jatin has not been taking her out to their regular pub joint after marriage as had been promised by him before they got married.
Ruby and Rohit (names changed ) had a long history of having been in love with each other from their childhood days and their courtship continued for more than twenty years before they decided to tie their knot. But after marriage everything turned tipsy turvy when Ruby found out that Rohit had been two timings even when he was into relationship with her .
Some of these young people may appear to be living next to us or people could be within us . But young marriages are not the only ones having jolts and jitters . Couples in their fifties and sixties years of age too have been having tough time in current situations as they either moot separation or move forward to a divorce.
Said Sudhir (name changed) “Our journey towards a blessed relationship of matrimony happened 19 years ago. We have two sons (17 and 12 ) . Recently I saw my wife talking to someone on social media Thereafter it has been a journey full of hardships and everyday fights .My marriage and its subsequent outcome had far-reaching effects on both my emotional and physical heath, as well as my self esteem and personal identity .I have decided to end this tortuous relationship.
Marriage is changing and evolving .it’s meaning in all strata of society ,be it young ,old , middle aged couples ,any income group is not the same any more .
We have had and we continue getting couples from any age group ,financial and milieu as you have read in some of the cases mentioned above .
A life long commitment to matrimonial relationship is a turning into a burden for some of the young couples .And some of the elderly couples feel it has been a difficult journey . They want to bring it to an end .But the decision to separate , from your partner with whom you have been planning to turn your dreams into a reality and walk hand in hand with each other ;to separate marital life to finally making the decision to proceed with a divorce and to coping with the stress and heartache is not so easy either ..
This is where we at Family Therapy India can help couples like above and many others who are facing turmoils into their relationships .
Our Family Therapy ,Relationship and marriage counselling sessions can help you change your life for the better.
You can learn how your personal choices are affecting your life, and that your happiness is up to you. You can’t always change your circumstances, or the situations you face in your life, but you can change how you act or react to those circumstances. It is up to you to decide what your future will look like, and to create your own happily ever after. Our family therapy ,Relationship and marriage counselling can help you find yourself, and let go of the feelings of anger, frustration, betrayal, and despair that are holding you back. It can teach you how to set goals and move toward a positive and successful future within your marriage, You can learn how to make permanent, lasting changes that benefit both of you and of course other members of your family.
Our Emotions Focussed Therapy and Counselling can help you regulate your emotions and learn the process of the best decision making on personal, financial, and practical aspects of your life that will develop better understanding for you and your partner to reaffirm your relationship.
We offer Family therapy , relationship and marriage Counselling sessions for families ,men, women and couples who are living with children, recently married, thinking of separation, getting a divorce, or experiencing relationship difficulties .We strongly believe in helping all those couples who are facing difficulties within their relationship at any age to understand each other’s mental and emotional state . We help them to set their communication better and overcome obstacles that are preventing them from achieving the happiness they deserve.
Get in touch with us today or write to us mansikpramarsh@gmail.com
In a world where love often seems to flow outwardly towards others, we often forget the essential foundation of love: loving oneself. The adage “love yourself, because if you don’t, no one else will” rings true, yet many struggle to prioritize self-love amidst the demands of daily life and societal expectations.
The question of who the most important person in one’s life is elicits varied responses, revealing a common tendency to prioritize others over oneself. From romantic partners to children, parents, and friends, individuals often place their own needs and desires on the backburner in favor of nurturing relationships with others. This selflessness, while admirable, can lead to feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and even depression when one’s own needs go unmet.
Society has long praised the spirit of sacrifice as the ultimate virtue, but perhaps we’ve misunderstood the true essence of selflessness. While acts of giving and sacrifice are noble, they should not come at the expense of neglecting one’s own well-being.
Lord Krishna’s teachings to Arjuna emphasize the importance of acting without attachment to the outcome, but they also underscore the significance of honoring the self. Neglecting oneself in the pursuit of pleasing others ultimately diminishes one’s own capacity to give and love fully.
Self-love is not selfish; it is a prerequisite for genuine connection and fulfillment in relationships. Just as a mother must nourish herself to properly care for her child, individuals must prioritize their own physical, mental, and spiritual well-being to be of service to others. This concept may seem counterintuitive in a culture that glorifies self-sacrifice, but it is essential for creating sustainable and healthy relationships.
Cultivating self-love requires a conscious effort to prioritize one’s own needs and desires. It involves setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and acknowledging one’s worth independent of external validation. Learning to love oneself is a journey that requires patience, compassion, and vulnerability. It means embracing both our strengths and weaknesses, recognizing that imperfection is inherent to the human experience.
The path to self-love begins with self-awareness. Taking the time to reflect on our values, passions, and aspirations allows us to connect with our authentic selves. From there, we can identify the areas of our lives that need nurturing and attention. This may involve letting go of limiting beliefs, forgiving ourselves for past mistakes, and embracing our unique gifts and talents.
Self-love also involves practicing self-compassion. We are often our own harshest critics, but learning to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding is essential for fostering a positive self-image. Rather than dwelling on our flaws and shortcomings, we can choose to focus on our strengths and accomplishments. Self-compassion enables us to weather life’s challenges with resilience and grace.
Pampering oneself is not indulgent; it is an act of self-love. Whether it’s treating oneself to a relaxing spa day, indulging in a favorite hobby, or simply taking a moment to savor the present, self-care is essential for nourishing the mind, body, and soul. In a world that glorifies busyness and productivity, carving out time for self-care may feel like a luxury, but it is a necessary investment in our overall well-being.
Believing in our own worthiness is perhaps the most powerful aspect of self-love. When we recognize our inherent value as individuals, we no longer seek validation or approval from others. Instead, we derive our sense of self-worth from within, knowing that we are worthy of love and acceptance simply by virtue of being human.
In conclusion, embracing self-love is not a selfish act; it is a necessary foundation for building healthy, fulfilling relationships with others. By prioritizing our own well-being, we become better equipped to give and receive love authentically. Self-love is not a destination but a journey—one that requires patience, courage, and self-compassion. As we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we pave the way for a life filled with joy, connection, and abundance.
Being in love is wonderful, isn’t it? Dating, feeling those butterflies, and longing to see each other again—it’s a special time. But as relationships grow, they change. Long-term relationships are about more than just love; they’re about managing life together.
When you’re in a long-term relationship, you’re not just looking out for yourself anymore. You’re building a life with someone else. That means dealing with all sorts of things: money, jobs, family, and more. It’s not always easy.
Communication is key. It’s how you talk about your problems and work through them together. Every argument is a chance to make your relationship stronger. Instead of fighting, try to understand each other’s point of view. That’s how you grow as a couple.
One of the hardest parts is merging your lives. You’re bringing together two different worlds, with different families, careers, and goals. It takes compromise and patience.
But even with all these challenges, it’s important not to forget about romance. As time goes on, the initial excitement might fade. You might find yourself focusing more on everyday worries than on each other. That’s normal, but it’s important to make time for romance too.
Romance doesn’t have to be grand gestures. It’s the little things that matter, like holding hands or cuddling on the couch. These small moments keep the spark alive.
Understanding each other’s needs is crucial too. Life is full of ups and downs, and you need to be there for each other through it all. When you have disagreements, listen to each other and find a solution together.
It’s also important to make each other happy. In the midst of busy lives, it’s easy to forget what really matters. But love is what makes life meaningful, so cherish it.
In the end, being in a long-term relationship is about facing life together. It’s about growing and learning as a couple. Yes, there will be tough times, but love will see you through.
In conclusion, long-term relationships are a journey. They’re about more than just love; they’re about building a life together. With communication, understanding, and a little romance, you can make your relationship stronger than ever. So cherish each other and the love you share—it’s worth it.
Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 