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Posts Tagged ‘phobia’

mother seeing child offMrs Sharma sounded  worried when  she handed over the school bag of her daughter to bus attendant, “Please tell the driver not to drive too fast. He fetches  small children, They can fall off their seats “. The bus attendant just nodded her head in affirmation. Not satisfied with just a nod, Mrs Sharma moved to the front of the bus .”Please drive slow and take care of our children” she had told the driver. The driver  too nodded his head. Mrs Sharma waited for the bus to move. She kick started her scooter . She paused for a moment and then turned her scooter towards the direction in which the bus had been going. She followed the bus at a safe distance and eventually having seen the bus safely getting into the school gate, she turned back . Such melodrama has been going on with Mrs Sharma for over a month now.

The matter  came to the notice of the family one day when Mr Sharma had gone to the bus stop to see his daughter off to school. The attendant  told him, “please tell Mrs Sharma not to follow the bus till the school gate.We are equally concerned of the safety of the school kids we fetch to the school .The school driver is a very experienced man and he drives very carefully.He has a very clean service record” .

six years oldJulie is only six years old .She studies in the neighborhood kindergarten school. She had been fine all this while and used to be very eager to go to school every morning .Last week  suddenly out of the blue she complained of stomach ache and refused to go to school. Her mother had taken her to the pediatrician who found nothing wrong with the child . The child had been  referred to the school counselor. A few sessions with the parents, the child and the class teacher  revealed, the  child has been always worried about her mother being alone at home  and this worry always prevailed upon her mind.

Just as the mind of the young child Julie created the drama of her mother being  unsafe at home, the same way worry can play havoc with the mind of the adults too. Worrying excessively can bring into mind series of fears , apprehensions, dark imaginations of the concerns about the safety  of  person and his or her near and dear one’s .

Worry is fine so long as we just reflect constructively and think about the situation or the problem to find out our next course of the action. But when the worry becomes constant fear and apprehension, it turns into  the chronic emotional disturbance  , with the mind being hijacked all the times into apprehended dangers which in reality may never occur. The hijacking of the mind brings with it the chronic anxiety, phobic  thoughts and the loss of reason .The person so affected exhibits obsessive compulsions, generalized anxiety into every situation, panics over trivial matters , fears of  getting cheated, robbed, being abandoned by the near and dear ones and of dying .Some of the affected even begin worrying about the worry that they carry in their mind.

worried womanMrs Narwhal   was so much worried of getting affected  by the germs  or carrying the germs  back home  that she would hang an  extra set of clothes in  her  toilet in advance , which  she wanted   to wear  the moment she would get back home from her trip outside. Every time she had come back to her  house, she would first  get into the bath to wash  her clothes, bathe herself  in order to cleanse herself of all the  germs that she thought she might have brought with her from outside. She would feel completely relieved once having done this ritual .But it is obvious, such a ritual can be  a great pain to other members of her family  as the rule of changing into the fresh clothes after returning from outside and of washing the  clothes that had been worn for going outside immediately on return from outside  played havoc with the peace of the family . Any kind of advise to Mrs Narwhal to stop worrying created further problems as she would  avoid such person who would advise her to not to worry .

Such worries form a part of the depression syndrome  . They bring about with them ,   breathlessness, the faster  heart beats,sweaty perspiration,  choking , suppression of the mind, the feeling of the distress, ,and the  lack of focus , attention and sleep .Such chronic worry  needs to be treated with psychotherapy,  Cognitive therapy , holistic therapy and  even by way of the perceptive meditation to bring about a complete change in the thinking and perceptions of the affected individual.

-Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert.

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Much has been written by thinkers, philosophers, scientists, sages and preachers on the subject of mind and heart. There has been  endless research on the issue of restless mind and spirit of human beings, yet the peace still eludes many of us. The world still suffers from many diseases of the mind and heart. Words like depression, anxiety, stress and phobic disorder, mental disorder, behavioral disorder are being used like the common place flu and colds happening to ordinary people. The medical world abounds by all kinds of medicines and treatments, offering little respite to those who suffer. People  continue to suffer .Their restless minds and souls are constantly being tormented. Through the columns of these pages we will try to understand how do we establish  better understanding  of these matters of mind and heart to reach emotional stability in our lives and keep our lives balanced.

We humans are connected with the organic world with the most developed brain and thinking powers. In the organic world three kinds of living beings exist i.e., those that have the instinctual survival bereft of any emotions, those that survive only on the basis of their physical strength and display only momentary emotional awareness .Humans have been bestowed with the powers that can generate emotions in our system involuntarily and activate our thinking system whether we like it or not.  We also have a fully developed mental perception, which can take cognizance of the matter and connect it to the events and consequences. We have a fully developed memory. We think, we imagine, we connect and we activate. Much as man would like to become thoughtless at times, sleep without any connection to the real world, the brain continues working either voluntarily but mostly involuntarily.

The involuntary emotional system activates our mind all the time. It forces the mind to imagine, to create and to dream. The dreams motivate us to plan which are executed by us to realize all those that we dreamt of. But in the law of our land where we have the thought, the power to dream and the power to reflect, we do have the situations that cause conflict and pain. For wherever there is a mind, the thought, the power to reflect, the analytical skill, there we have the conflict, the contradiction. No mental activity can ever be without the contradictory and opposite situation. Wherever we have the mind, we have the pain and we have the misery. Man however does not want to suffer. He wants to always be in comfort, in happiness and in the enjoyment of a happy life. This is a natural phenomenon .All living beings look for a life full of comforts. The inanimate only do not know the difference between   the comfort and discomfort. The living beings who do not have a mind suffer only for a short while. Their sense of discomfort is only short lived,  is unexpressed on account of lack of emotions . They do not consign their discomfort to their   memory bank. Nor do they draw upon their memory bank to reflect and compare their current and past discomfort. But man being a thinking organic sensitive emotional mind feels, expresses, analyses ,compares  and consigns  all comforts and discomforts to his   memory bank, thus in a way being always under the load of misery .

Can the mind be free from worries and miseries? 

We are all part of the larger organic world in which we are all living beings like millions of other kinds of living being inhabiting the solar system. Our world in fact as compared to the world of other living beings of the universe is too small. We are very miniscule in numbers, barely a few trillions all over the globe. The other planets must be peopled with many more living beings which the science is continuously researching into. Whether those living beings too have similar emotions, thoughts, mind and heart developed like us, only the research will find out.

But humans of our dear earth are endowed with a developed mental faculty. we all think .Thinking ,reflecting is an activity of the mind. We remember, we consign our thoughts to memory bank. We imagine. We create thoughts. Creation of thoughts and imagination is a mental exercise. We plan larger things for our life by the strength of our imagination .We dream of things that are larger than our life. We aspire for making these dreams come true. we do realize some of these dreams, imagination, and aspirations yet many other remain out of reach  . 

In order to understand the malady that has befallen the modern mind we will have to know the functioning of the mind in the modern age .the modern times are the reflectors of the cerebral psychological problems. Every individual is    involved fully into the mental day to day stresses of life. The involvement of the human mind into the cerebral problems becomes the major detriment to the peace and happiness of the human intellect.  Every human being wants to become free of the mental stress that he is suffering from.  We need to understand as to what mind is, in order to get liberated from the stresses and problems of the mind. Without really looking into the functioning of the mind it is simply irrelevant to solve the problems that exist in our psyche today.

What are the functions performed by Mind ?

Mind is the action centre of the conscious and subconscious both. Sometimes it acts  in full associations of the brain and the heart and other times it may wander into unknown realms of its own . Our central nervous system may have a role in controlling the mind and body both.  but mind does not remain restricted within the body hence it may be incorrect to say that mind is controlled by the brain and performs all those actions as are  demanded of it by the brain.

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Continuing from my last post  about self acceptance ……  I have observed that many a times”WE All” surrender to the negativity in weaker moments of life and then allow the nihilistic attitude to overtake our body, mind and all faculties . The shadow of doubt arises from the fact that we do not want to face our own self in these weaker moments thus losing control and surrendering  with humble submission . We do not try to resurrect the position by reviving the natural powers that the nature has bestowed us with . These powers are the :

  • power of mind
  • power of brain
  • power of determination ( resolution )
  • power of  karma
  • power of positivity.

  In my article Accept Yourself…….. all we are doing is to enhance the self image and self esteem and  convert the negativity of life to living our life in positive emotions through daily  self acceptance  practices . By way of writing and stating   the obvious power we all possess  we shall be increasing our own acceptance from the inner strengths before we move to the external world.

Just remember that we are weakling physically as  compared  to  even a small ant that can carry a load of  12 times its own weight  while moving . obviously we cannot do that . Same way we can not bear and tolerate the   stringent weather and vagaries of nature like a small plant or a tree can do . The small plant  outside our window or a tree in the courtyard cam  stand through the storm,  heat, sunshine, rain,  or the cold and still give its best back to the nature. We can however win in all situation because we have the power of the mind ( the desire ) that made us look for the ways to control the nature . This strong mind enables us to find our way in the mountainous region by making tunnels, ropeways, circular roads and by even destroying the  mountain if it stood in the way. We by our power of mind have controlled all elements  of nature eg.   the sun,  the wind, the  sea and  below the surface element by making them useful to the mankind. our mind desired and the brain got busy  working full time to meet  and fulfill the desires   of the mind. Hence in the previous post I had asked you to begin accepting yourself by recognising and recalling the power of your own mind.

Let us once again do the same exercise once again in the manner we had done last week :  take a pen and paper  and start writing the following powerful positive statement  about yourself :

I am a powerful person I have the power of mind .  

Continue writing a full page .  Having completed writing  please place aside the pen and the paper.

We will now  meditate on this .

  • please sit in a comfortable  position wherever you are , keeping your   back straight but comfortable.
  • Place your right hand on your heart and the left hand four fingers below your navel in the middle of the stomach.
  • be at your ease.
  • close your eyes softly
  • and   start breathing.
  • let your mind  travel from the  lower left hand    to the top of your forehead  while  inhaling  and let the mind travel back to the bottom of the left hand on the stomach while exhaling . continue the process for five minutes.
  •   after five minutes are over just  relax  for a while.
  • open your eyes.
  • pick up the page on which we had done the  writing today.
  • Start reading loudly the  words and sentences written by you on the page like you are memorising every word written there. Do not let your eyes and mind wander from the written words even for a wink of a second . let the words  be imprinted on your mind   completely .
  • having finished , close the eyes again and reflect on the words spoken by you.

Get up after a while………, you will gradually start feeling good , about yourself  after a few days exercise  ?

We regularly conduct Preksha Meditation classes at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation and our experiences reveals that  the meditation of  self-acceptance makes  people gain positivity and happy state of mind which can  not  be  compared to others because in this there is no , “other”. The learning    of the self can definitely be compared to the learning of the  new things and being part of something bigger, some sacred   and celestial    happiness and satisfaction.Come and learn with us the  daily  self acceptance practices that result into  psychological  and emotional healing.

Ramneek kapoor,Clinical Psychologist and family Therapist,Science of living ,Preksha Meditation expert.

 

 

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