Neena felt desolate and lonely, and she suffered a sense of disorientation as she had been denied the job she was so confident of getting.
Rueben had completely given up after he had been passed over for a promotion, with his employer company preferring another candidate much junior to him in experience.
Tamanna felt numb and low after her boyfriend Nahar dropped her and opted for another relationship.
All these people have been denied and rejected from doing whatever they had expected or wanted to do. Some of them had worked for and invested years in reaching where they wanted to be in their careers or relationships.
Many such rejections have been witnessed in recent times, where people had to leave their homes and friends abroad after being denied extensions of visas, or students had to shelve their study plans for similar reasons.
Getting rejected breaks morale. It hurts to the core too. Whether it’s being rejected by a suitor, denial of a much-awaited promotion, or a rejected job interview, rejection is not always taken in an acceptable manner. Even though people are sometimes apprehensive of hearing a “no,” they do not want to hear it for fear of not being approved.
For some people, the fear of hearing “no” becomes so strong that it stops them from taking risks or asking for what they want. Rejection sensitivity can deeply affect daily life, leading to anger, irritation, financial stress, social stress, and often much more than what is stated above.
With so many layoffs, upheavals, and shelving of long-term plans, the hopes and confidence of many are getting derailed.
Let’s understand how we can deal with rejections and the shattering of dreams and expectations, and make rejections less hurtful and more introspective in an accepting way to help rebuild mental and emotional strength and move forward. It sounds easy, but it is not. That’s where the process of “rejection therapy” plays a very positive role in rebuilding and re-emerging as a better person.
What is rejection therapy, and how does it help?
We would rather call it a reconfirming self-technique, where we undertake self-acceptance, self-expression, and a self-improvement process that we can practice on our own when needed.
In this therapy, instead of avoiding situations where we might be told “no,” we actively anticipate them without causing apprehension and anxiety.
The dynamic social environment carries a lot of grapevine, and if we pay attention to these rumours, we can expect to be either accepted, ignored, or rejected. The anticipated discomfort begins much in advance, and we can build resilience to it in smaller steps.
You start with tiny social challenges where you expect to be rejected, and then gradually build your tolerance to discomfort.
The goal isn’t to reject rejection. The exercise helps build confidence, reduce social anxiety, and not permit fear to control your life. When we realise that rejection does not mean as much as we thought—and that many people are kinder than we imagine—it becomes easier to take risks that matter.
But that doesn’t mean you should expect only negative results. Being hopeful and positive has its rewards, and that realisation brings happiness and acceptance.
Wherever you fear and anticipate rejection, acceptance can bring wonderful surprises and self-acceptance.
Gradually, the human brain learns that rejection can be worked through by looking for substitute rewards, and that rejection is not as damaging as expected.
Small steps in dealing with anticipated refusals make you more accepting and comforted. You move on in life and develop maturity and patience to bear the brunt of major challenges.
Each rejection handled with calmness and maturity builds mental and emotional strength and equips the brain with a better understanding of the subject, developing resilience and adjustment.
Rejection then becomes less painful and traumatic as you learn to manage such situations deliberately.
Rejection becomes less self-effacing and more about learning and adjustment. Your brain rewires itself to see social situations as opportunities for growth rather than threats to avoid.
If the thought of anticipated rejection or refusal causes severe anxiety, panic, or intense negative emotions, you should seek professional support from a therapist rather than trying to handle it alone. We at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation can help you manage such anxiety, fear, or panic and help you move forward.
Rejection does not define your life in totality. It can be an opportunity to build a stronger future and prepare yourself to overcome the fear of rejection.
When you stop letting the possibility of hearing “no” determine your worth and start adding value to your decisions for the future, you open yourself to opportunities, connections, and experiences you might have overlooked.
You can contact us at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation if you feel you need professional counselling in the following situations:
- When your anxiety, fear, or stress worsens and causes distress
- When you are unable to move past feelings of rejection and constantly feel sad or hopeless
- When you experience panic
- When you develop physical symptoms or traumatic stress linked to negative thoughts
- When you find yourself becoming avoidant, overly self-critical, or nihilistic
- When you feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm
- When you are unable to carry out your day-to-day functioning
Please call or reach out to us at @mansikpramarsh. We would be glad to help you.
Sachin (name changed)a young boy of 12 and a student of grade 7th had been termed a big nuisance by his class teachers.They could hardly control his activities.He would just not sit at one place in the classroom. His indiscipline created problems for his teachers in school . Of late he had started arguing back with his tutors at home .There have been complaints of his misbehaving with other children of his class . His mother, a single parent was at her wits end,not knowing how to proceed about. She was advised by the school to consult a psychologist.
Akshat {name changed} another child was standing outside the school Principal’s office.This was the third time in the current session when his parents have been called to the school by the authorities.Akshat had been sliding down the side railing of the second floor stairs all alone, when he had been intercepted by his class incharge.A joint evaluation by the school teachers,psychologist and psychiatrist diagnosed severe ADHD in the child. Our experience with treating ADHD children in many such cases have proved that mindful perceptive meditation can train and condition the young brain to concentrate better and hold focus even in the event of child suffering from ADHD.Such a holistic intervention and alternative treatment have benefited many and can help your child maintain self regulation, self discipline, and developing a better attention span.
We have observed that many adults and children affected by ADHD find it very challenging to sustain their attention, and they exhibit a very hyper state of mind in situations where they are expected to remain calm and attentive.
Mindful perceptive meditation exercise develops the inner peace of mind,establishes positive relationship with the self and brings about sense of confidence and stability of mind.It helps regulate functioning of the endocrine glands of body and creates good hormones in the body. Since mindful perceptive meditation involves perception of breathing, perception of centres of our psychic hence brings about a sea change in the mindset of the protagonists.It enhances attention span. It trains the mind in the process of self-observation , trains to take care of all kinds of negativity and develop an internal power of positivity, attention, and to develop different faculties of mind and intellect . It makes the subject better aware of his or her emotional state of mind and impulsivity.
HOW DOES YOUR CENTER TEACH THE PRACTICE OF MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION ?
HOW AND WHERE CAN MY CHILD JOIN MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION PROGRAM?
Ashu (name changed) could not do anything in life ever since he had been diagnosed of schizophrenia by the psychiatrist. He had been prescribed psychotic medicines by different psychiatrist doctors wherever his family had taken him to them .Yet nothing helped. His fears and phobias had worsened with time. The voices in his head continued disturbing him. His logical cognitive ability had been completely distorted and for him all the delusions had become the real images and characters.
Similarly Sheena (name changed) continued with the fear and phobia of persecution at the hands of a person who had long moved out of her life five years ago. Sheena had been diagnosed of delusional disorder (a psychotic disorder).Her life had become completely miserable as she would often get lost into her phobia and would not be able to conduct her normal day to day routine life.
Soon a very significant improvement could be noticed in certain negative symptoms, (e.g., negativity about self and family, sense of doom, lack of interest in surroundings and /lack of drive) started yielding to positive thoughts on all these issues .The clients did respond well as we noticed Ashu and Sheena both had begun looking at the positive aspects of their life. Their sense of appreciation for some aspects of their lives could be felt in their daily interaction with us. We could see their interest reviving in their day to day life too exhibiting positive symptoms.
Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 