Nothing else can be as fatal for the marital relationship as your anger. An uncontrolled anger is like a slow poison to the strong threads of relations between husband and wife .The uncontrolled anger virtually eats into the very roots of love,trust and respectability of both the partners .
I have observed while counseling estranged or opposing spouses that couples would often express their anger and resentment towards each other and after a while they tend to cool down when educated about their misplacement of their emotions or expectations from each other.
However heavens may help in situations where one of the spouses happen to have an uncontrolable anger . Such expression of constant complaints and anger often leads to physical abuse ,emotional accusations against each other and ultimate separation.
Anger is not so bad if used momentarily and allowed to subside and defused once it has been expressed. The message that the angry person has been upset over certain issues or acts of either spouse can be conveyed and thereafter both would do better to come to the levels of finding ways to negotiate peace and make amends .
There comes a stage when the partners need to involve a professional family therapist who can help them look at their differences or different perceptions in new light to sort out the disputes .Such intervention is arranged with a view to evolve newer and better emotional understanding amongst the couple ,even though the previous hurt still remains at the background. But the seething anger has been overcome as the partners give each other opportunities to grow their new closeness and understanding.
But many a times the harmed partner particularly wife finds it difficult to let go of the past and forgive her husband. Her anger seethes like a wild fire that knows no direction ,hovering over the relationship and destroying everything that comes in its path .Such situation finds no retrieval and the couple sooner or later ends up parting ways through legal separation,or finding it difficult to stay together peacefully.
A partner with such an uncontrolled anger often brings to the fore the mistakes of the other partner,by shaming him or her at every available opportunities,refuses to listen to any explanation by the partner and believes no compromise can be big enough to solve the problems which have arisen in their relationship.
An understanding partner can help coverup many shortcomings ,mistakes and at times blunders of the other partner unless it happens to be a complete erosion of trust and faith.But in the event of such a situation too,the partners need to sit together by letting the anger go and understand how to proceed with their relationship further or even give it a break by inflicting the minimum damage to the family and partners themselves.
It is important that both husband and wife should pay attention to their anger control and if they find that their relationship is getting affected by such frequent bursts of anger. They should consult a counseling psychologist and family therapist .A trained professional counselor and family therapist would help them with relevant anger management therapies including perceptive breathing exercises .
While there are enough advisors in every social circle to guide and help the estranged or fighting couples but such unprofessional approach unknowingly out of their ignorance can ignite more anger or mistrust towards each other often leading to frequent accusations. As far as possible couples should avoid such agony aunts for their own betterment .Repeated complaints, frequent bickerings and trying to put down the partner or staging a show down for your partner just because you are angry with him or her can on the contrary take the love out of relations,resulting into the damaged partner finding solace elsewhere .No partner in the right mind who values relationship would like to be in such an embarrassing situation .Anytime you feel angry with or at your partner ,give yourself sometime to think over if the confrontation can be through anger or matters can also be discussed without losing control and being firm in your tone and body language.
,If you have such uncontrolled anger /domestic violence situation You should come to us at Family Therapy India and we will help you resolve all issues of your marriage in more amicable manner .Find us @ http://www.mansikpramarsh.com
Email us @ mansikpramarsh@gmail.com
Call: 09179383554,917314263087
–Ramneek Kapoor – Family Therapist, Psychologist Counselor and Science of Living Expert .
The sound of ambulance and police vans’ siren outside hurt .She just looked out of the window and the caravan of many vehicles running at a high speed just down below on the road, triggered an instant panic in her mind .She felt her heart pounding like a hammer in her chest. Her head was getting lighter. She couldn’t stand and sat on the bed immediately to prevent her falling. She could hardly breathe and felt her breathes getting shorter and shorter. The acute pain in her legs shot through like needles .She felt she would faint .She was sweating profusely. She wanted to call her husband but couldn’t raise her voice as she felt her throat choked.
Such a situation can take place with anyone. You can get a surge of fear racing through your mind and panic attack triggers .This may last for five to ten minutes, but the panic and the bodily reaction, together can leave you mentally and physically paralyzed temporarily. You then want to avoid such situation at any cost in future as you don’t want to experience the same panic attack again.
Deep breathing exercises during this can help. Put your right hand on your heart and left hand spread just below the belly button on your stomach .Start inhaling deeply and exhaling as much longer. Just focus on your breathing and inhale deep and exhale deep for three to five minutes. Keep your mind focused on the rise and fall of chest and stomach by breathing exercises and soon your mind will move away from the panic and you will feel better.
Progressive Muscles Relaxation Exercise will help alleviate the bodily discomfort and muscle spasms. Begin from the toes of your feet , relax each muscle ,travel upward gradually ,relax calf muscles, the knee muscles, thigh muscles, hips and then focus on stomach ,chest shoulders ,neck ,forehead and head muscles. Spend 15 to 30 seconds on each muscle part and once you have finished, keep feeling relaxed all through the physique.
Do not give up on your daily quota of physical exercise. Manage your workout schedule regularly, be it yoga, spot jogging, walking all over the home or exercising with your partner, helping each other with calisthenics.
Sachin (name changed)a young boy of 12 and a student of grade 7th had been termed a big nuisance by his class teachers.They could hardly control his activities.He would just not sit at one place in the classroom. His indiscipline created problems for his teachers in school . Of late he had started arguing back with his tutors at home .There have been complaints of his misbehaving with other children of his class . His mother, a single parent was at her wits end,not knowing how to proceed about. She was advised by the school to consult a psychologist.
Akshat {name changed} another child was standing outside the school Principal’s office.This was the third time in the current session when his parents have been called to the school by the authorities.Akshat had been sliding down the side railing of the second floor stairs all alone, when he had been intercepted by his class incharge.A joint evaluation by the school teachers,psychologist and psychiatrist diagnosed severe ADHD in the child. Our experience with treating ADHD children in many such cases have proved that mindful perceptive meditation can train and condition the young brain to concentrate better and hold focus even in the event of child suffering from ADHD.Such a holistic intervention and alternative treatment have benefited many and can help your child maintain self regulation, self discipline, and developing a better attention span.
We have observed that many adults and children affected by ADHD find it very challenging to sustain their attention, and they exhibit a very hyper state of mind in situations where they are expected to remain calm and attentive.
Mindful perceptive meditation exercise develops the inner peace of mind,establishes positive relationship with the self and brings about sense of confidence and stability of mind.It helps regulate functioning of the endocrine glands of body and creates good hormones in the body. Since mindful perceptive meditation involves perception of breathing, perception of centres of our psychic hence brings about a sea change in the mindset of the protagonists.It enhances attention span. It trains the mind in the process of self-observation , trains to take care of all kinds of negativity and develop an internal power of positivity, attention, and to develop different faculties of mind and intellect . It makes the subject better aware of his or her emotional state of mind and impulsivity.
HOW DOES YOUR CENTER TEACH THE PRACTICE OF MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION ?
HOW AND WHERE CAN MY CHILD JOIN MINDFUL PERCEPTIVE MEDITATION PROGRAM?
Ashu (name changed) could not do anything in life ever since he had been diagnosed of schizophrenia by the psychiatrist. He had been prescribed psychotic medicines by different psychiatrist doctors wherever his family had taken him to them .Yet nothing helped. His fears and phobias had worsened with time. The voices in his head continued disturbing him. His logical cognitive ability had been completely distorted and for him all the delusions had become the real images and characters.
Similarly Sheena (name changed) continued with the fear and phobia of persecution at the hands of a person who had long moved out of her life five years ago. Sheena had been diagnosed of delusional disorder (a psychotic disorder).Her life had become completely miserable as she would often get lost into her phobia and would not be able to conduct her normal day to day routine life.
Soon a very significant improvement could be noticed in certain negative symptoms, (e.g., negativity about self and family, sense of doom, lack of interest in surroundings and /lack of drive) started yielding to positive thoughts on all these issues .The clients did respond well as we noticed Ashu and Sheena both had begun looking at the positive aspects of their life. Their sense of appreciation for some aspects of their lives could be felt in their daily interaction with us. We could see their interest reviving in their day to day life too exhibiting positive symptoms.
Family will survive all storms with a little patience and perseverance.
“Perceptive Meditation enables you live in and with your breath taking your mind away from your anxiety stress and worries of life .It empowers you to live in the moment with complete mindfulness of your soul ,body and mind “. Ramneek Kapoor.
Mindful Perceptive Meditation on Psychic Centres is a very powerful, evidence-based meditation tool for enhancing emotional ,psychological and mental health.
Perceptive meditation is a technique of meditation on the psychic centers of human body by which changes can be brought to the emotions,feelings,perception,attitudes, behaviors, and the total thinking process of the man. Perception on the psychic centres refer to the process of focussing and meditating on these centres of consciousness with complete absorption of mind and body and getting them connected to the endocrine glands situated on the psychic centres . The chemicals secretions this way are rectified by turning the secretion from negative to positives. Such Perceptive Meditation energises the conscious, the subconscious and the unconscious thereby benefiting the body and the mind on three different levels :
PSYCHIC CENTRES
RAMNEEK’S SCIENCE OF LIVING AND PREKSHA MEDITATION CENTRE
Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation Clinical Psychologists-Family therapists Indore 0731-4263087,9179383554 